[fosterthehuman]

i've tried therapy in the past and there were a couple times were the therapist told me that i had been going to their session with the same/similar questions/concerns and it wouldn't get anywhere and that they're trying to help me, but i didn't seem to be taking their advice.

it was about this situation i had with my grandma. mt grandmother was yelling at me through my bedroom door to get the mail from the mail person, and i told her to give me a second cause i had to put on some pants. and not a minute later, she told me to hurry up, and i muttered "what's your problem" and when i came outside to get the mail, she called me disrespectful. i called my mom, crying on the phone ane told her about it. and she said thay i should say sorry and that i was being disrespectful.

I got extremely down at that point and when i went to my therapist, i told her what happened, I ended up acting hysterial, crying. she told me, that i could try apologizing to my grandmother and I responded by saying that I wouldn't forgive myself if i said sorry. I kept putting myself down verbally as well. she told me to stop throwing a pity pit. my therapist asked me if i had a goal in mind, and i didn't. i later took her advice. and at the time i felt even more down and for some reason i asked her if i could be checked into the hospital. she seemed really annoyed and frustrated by this and mentioned how this was the worst possible time to ask and brought up how she had other patients waiting for her. i still feel horrible about all of it.

i've used her advice in the past, like when she would give me homework to do. i think a few times i asked to negotiate with her. especially when she asked me to
try to talk to at least 3 people per day and i asked if i could limit it to just two, since my social anxiety was really bad and i just didn't feel ready.

i've been pretty reluctant on seeing another therapist. i'm just embarrassed about how i acted those times, i've been trying to work on my reassuring questions, but it hasn't gotten better at all, well to me. has this situation happen to anyone before? i feel like there's something seriously wrong with me. i know it could just be that i'm annoying. which is okay i guess, i just hate that i bother people so much to the point where they get upset with me. it's awkward and embarrassing cause i would never want to make a therapist mad at me.

[possum220]

I had a spat with a T many years ago but though it was horrid at the time we worked through it. Prior to seeing this T I saw maybe two or three but didn't feel comfortable with them and their styles.

Therapists are very different. Some will be right for you and others won't. Couldn't hurt to see another T.

Current PDOC has gotten frustrated but not mad. In the hospital my PDOC got very mad once. It was extremely unprofessional behavior

My psychiatrist just on Monday got a little frustrated and questiond one of my responses to him. But, I can tell fully why he raised his eyebrows and questioned what I had said and I honestly think I deserved it. it basically came down to a 'really?' moment.

[MtnTime2896]

I actually got into it with a former therapist, pretty bad. It started off with us talking about coping strategies and how the ones she gave me weren't working. I talked about what I was doing that helped a bit and she immediately attacked them. Hers were right and I needed to practice on them. Well, I got really quite because I thought, "Okay, she's the professional. She probably knows better." Then we moved on to how I felt since being put on my antidepressant cocktail. I told her that it was bad and that I really felt like I should quit taking the medication. She told me that I needed to stay on it and give it time to work; I said that it was making me obsess over self-destructive and SI thoughts rather that letting up enough to pass through my head. When she said it was normal, I just blew up. Told her I was done because if this was normal, I wanted no part of it. She was going to involuntarily commit me and I told her that I'd just leave before anyone showed up. I wasn't going anywhere.
By the end of it she made me sign a "I won't hurt myself" agreement. I laughed when I signed my signature. She asked "What's so funny?" I looked her straight in the eye as I stood up to walk out and said, "The fact that you think a signature on a piece of paper and toxic pills will save me." I walked out and never went back.
Was I in the right? Not entirely. I shouldn't have acted the way that I did; I was upset and I let those emotions get the best of my character. I just wish she would've let me explain things better at the start instead of interrupting and saying I was wrong and that the meds were helping me. I also really should've been more understanding, too; I think we both messed up on that subject.

[benzenering]

My pdoc and I argue all the time. She wins (she's the doctor) but I don't have to do everything she asks.

[StarGazingFish]

your not on your own as this thread shows.
i have a very bad pyschiatrist who i cannot change because im supported by the UK social services intellectual disability team,and im not allowed to access mental health services,ive got to use them.

she is so anti medication that this week for example,she kicked off when she found out my GP had prescribed me extra lorazepam and diazepam for all the fire works going off [RE bonfire/guy fawkes 'season']and removed them so i am without any extra medication and suffering from very extreme anxiety,panic attacks,constant fear and hyper vigilance and extreme sensory overload.

shes shouted at me many times when ive disagreed with her anti medication methods, or if i say something she disagrees with in general,she has no empathy/sympathy whatsoever and doesnt listen to what i say.
i hate her so much i put in a formal complaint against her tonight,i am fuming.

[mindwrench]

My last T just glares at me when he walks by at the clinic, so he must be pissed about the complaints about him. I'm angry at my current T so he may be with me too after I give him my notes.

Both my therapist and psychiatrist have, years ago when I went to the hospital and insurance was angry at them for not doing their job.

[Reao]

Yes, many times. One told me to shut up and listen. I told him if he ever had anything useful to say, I would.

More importantly, I understand the therapist/client relationship, if it is good, allows both of us to express our emotions if our perceptions are causing frustration.

A therapist is human too. If you value the therapist, work things out and move on.

[*Laurie*]

A talented therapist will help you work through the conflict process so you both don't get stuck in it.

[Ember_42]

Mine got mad and snapped at me just a couple of weeks ago. She wanted me to do a couple of things that were WAY beyond my ability to accomplish at this point. I tried to explain why it wasn't realistic and she went back to the coping skills she wants me to use (which had admitted before didn't work well for everyone) and I told her that they only had a limited effect and not nearly what I needed to be able to follow her instructions. She snapped that I would always just be stuck and never get better if I didn't basically make life changes that I'd make if I were "cured". I was furious but I just said that I understood and left. I don't know how I can continue to work with her if she thinks that I'm not listening to her if I'm not all better suddenly (after many years of struggling). I don't know what to do really.

[mugwort2]

Pne time a psychologist thought I was skipping back one subject to the next too quickly. He called me a scatterbrain. Note: I was diagnosed by several pdocs before as bipolar. So I suppose I was being rather unfocused but still....I found his statement rude, hurtful. I never went back to him. My therapist I presently see is really supportive. PS She is much impressed by psychcentral.com

[nicoleflynn]

A therapist shouldn't say those things. They are supposed to be trained to handle and respond appropriately to ANY thing you say. I hope you will apologize to your grandmother. You/we will say and do many things in our lives we regret. The key is to "fix" it, apologize and keep on living.

[fosterthehuman]

Originally Posted by LauraBeth

A talented therapist will help you work through the conflict process so you both don't get stuck in it.

what exactly do you mean?

[fosterthehuman]

Originally Posted by Ember_42

Mine got mad and snapped at me just a couple of weeks ago. She wanted me to do a couple of things that were WAY beyond my ability to accomplish at this point. I tried to explain why it wasn't realistic and she went back to the coping skills she wants me to use (which had admitted before didn't work well for everyone) and I told her that they only had a limited effect and not nearly what I needed to be able to follow her instructions. She snapped that I would always just be stuck and never get better if I didn't basically make life changes that I'd make if I were "cured". I was furious but I just said that I understood and left. I don't know how I can continue to work with her if she thinks that I'm not listening to her if I'm not all better suddenly (after many years of struggling). I don't know what to do really.

omg this is literally how i feel. well maybe not exactly, but i just remember during some sessions with my old therapist, i would take her advice and she would mention how proud she was of my accomplishments and how i was working on my goals. there were times where she told me to do "homework" and i would do it and tell her that i did it but ahe would never ask about it or review/ go over it. it was kind of like, she assigned it to me cause that was just was what she was supposed to do. idk, it was just confusing cause i got told that i was making progress and then, i completely failed it. smh sorry i'm still pissed and humilated about the entire thing

[fosterthehuman]

Originally Posted by nicoleflynn

A therapist shouldn't say those things. They are supposed to be trained to handle and respond appropriately to ANY thing you say. I hope you will apologize to your grandmother. You/we will say and do many things in our lives we regret. The key is to "fix" it, apologize and keep on living.

i don't even know anymore, cause some people i'ved told think it was my fault. my mom agreed with how my therapist reacted so. plus i used to bother my mom with reassuring questions too and she would snap at me cause it would get so annoying. so whatever, ik it's my fault either way, i guess i just wanted to believe it wasn't.

this happened over a year ago, i apoligized to my grandma. it's just that i'm not really close to her and i just didn't understand why she was so mad at me cause i wasn't trying to do anything to piss her off. i found out that she didn't even hear what i said. honestly i don't really like her or care for her, i was trying to be as nice as i could. it just seems like i'm the person who always needs to say sorry for their wrong doings but other people usually don't or don't have to.

i just feel like this happens to me a lot, and i'm just sick of it. cause my grandma has acted this way before with me but i just didn't respond. but of course, the first time i say something, i get seen as disrespectful and i'm the person that has to apoligize. ik i sound like a ***** cause i don't want to be he bigger person, but i'm sick of it.

honestly i still don't understand why i was told to say sorry to her cause i didn't do anything really. idk, this whole thing is confusing. this event actually increased a lot of my self esteem and depression. cause i think a lot about how exactly i was being disrespectful or rude. also when i was younger there were a few times where i was upset and came off rude or mean, but there were people who told me that i was acting mean and i got told "that was really rude" or "what's your issue?" and i would be aware of it and try to change my actions. but in that particular situation, i still don't understand why i was seen as rude for saying what i said, i guess that's a huge reason why it's difficult for me to get over this.

quite a few times. so etimes i say and do really stupid thiings, its ok for her to get mad at me, i get mad at her, and we are both adults and can take it.

Not angry, exactly, but annoyed or frustrated. It is horrible for me when it happens but in the long run it is somewhat helpful, because I have seen that he can be a bit vexed but that doesn't mean he will treat me differently or terminate my therapy. Of course I have to be careful not to internalise it too much, I can't be allowed to think that it is ok to behave in a way that might make people angry with me, but as long as it is confined to what is all right in therapy it helps. It means I can relax more and worry less about what I am saying to T.

Frustrated, yes; angry, no.

[Moksha]

Hi everybody.

I'm new to this forum so this is my first post. I'm a psychotherapist myself and I'm kind of shocked reading how badly so many of you have been treated by your therapists. As someone said before, it's healthy to allow and aknowledge any emotions that appear in the relationship and talk openly about anything to create a good, strong and protective relationship. However, the therapist has to know how to handle his/her own emotions in order to not damage the client, since a therapist has to focus on the clients needs and avoid retraumatizing behaviours such as getting mad at the client.

This is why in my opinion every therapist needs to be in therapy before starting to work with patients, in order to avoid causing damage to them or him/herself.

[mostlylurking]

I feel like the OP and a few others in this thread have been subject to the new "short term" therapy style, in which the T sounds a bit like this: "What's your goal? Okay, here's a couple coping mechanisms and some homework, I expect this to be all fixed in 4 sessions."

OP, I think that if you were very upset because family members felt you had been disrespectful, this probably gets into deeper family stuff, and is not just all about this one incident. Maybe you haven't felt fully accepted and this felt like a rejection to you, for instance, which would explain why your reaction was so strong. Your T (in my opinion) should have treated your strong emotional expression with a little more care, and explored it a bit, rather than just prescribing you some more homework ("Apologize to your grandmother")-- that doesn't feel very thoughtful to me. And if you still feel that your emotions and thoughts around this issue are confusing, then it's the perfect material to bring to therapy to try to sort out. But if your T is the "short term" style, she might not have the patience or skills to help you sort it out. A family systems therapist or something like that might be better.

Could you consider seeing another T, just once or twice to understand all your options?

[Sarmas]

The last thing that you should worry about is if your therapist is mad at you. I think her response to your issue was very unprofessional and I can see why you're upset. You didn't do anything wrong. I understand that therapists have other clients scheduled but her response was very poor and it would make anyone feel horrible. This again seems like one of those cases where it's convenient for the therapist to have an "easier" client but in all reality we are all different. We all have our ups and downs in therapy and our mood changes due to so many factors. A professional therapist should be ready to address clients as they come being that they can't control the way we feel. Some of us might got obsession with the need to cut or with suicidal ideations. That's part of the field and it should be expected. it should not become an inconvenience or surprise to a therapist. Perhaps you should contact her and tell her how you feel in order for her to be aware and see what her response is. You shouldn't feel as if you are pestering or annoying your therapist. Your there for a reason and your feeling and needs as real. Her approach though needs work.

[bounceback]

Too many times to count. I have had many therapists.

[junkDNA]

i wouldnt use the word angry, but he has been annoyed and frustrated