Some thoughts about my session yesterday

My T usually asks if she's sitting a comfortable distance from me. I say "I don't know." So she moves her chair closer or farther. She won't accept "I don't know". Yesterday I wanted her closer, probably closer than I told her. It wasn't scary having her close; it was nice.

I didn't want to do EMDR. I wanted us to watch a video of a school presentation that I just went out-of-town to see. I was excited about it, and my visit with family. T wanted to know if my mother were alive, would I still feel the need to show and tell T everything? Interesting question because my mother would have loved to hear and see everything about her family. I wanted to share the video with my T because I feel close to her like she's family. Maybe instead of my mother. I also shared it with friends. T and I watched about 15 minutes of it. I'm pondering why it's so important to share so much about my family with T. It seems natural to me. Does that seem weird?

I'm thinking about T's ability to rattle off an anatomy word calmly while I was embarrassed and didn't want to say. We were talking about my medical problems. It's not a word anyone would use much except a doctor. I wonder how T got to be so comfortable with saying the words while I'm not. I think I'll ask her next session.

T said she didn't and doesn't want to forbid email. It has to come from me. She wants me to be there for me, but that doesn't mean I can't email, and she WILL respond.

It's not weird to me. I take in all sorts of things to share, pretty much anything that's not glued down and that fits in my backpack. The rest, I take pictures of and show those. My therapist welcomes it all. It's a nice feeling. It wasn't like this with other therapists, or even early on with the one I see now. Something happened about 18 months in. I have been seeing her two years now. It's helping me to figure things out, sort of like a 3D image of my brain.

ruh roh, that made me laugh - "anything that's not glued down"

It sounds like you both feel really valued and cared for. You feel safe to share what's important to you.

rainbow8, how long have you been meeting with her?

That's interesting - I've never heard of a therapist asking about how far to sit from the client. I wish my therapist sat a little closer.

How did the email subject come up?

I wish my t would sit closer. I don't know why i haven't brought it up to her.

Hi Rainbow
No.. its not weird at all to want to share things with your therapist. I am always showing my therapist pictures of my grandson, my kids.. as a matter of fact I'm bringing ng my grandson with me to therapy next week.. I'm so excited about it : ) My therapist is very open to anything that I want to share with her , and it sounds like yours is too!
It sounds like you have a great therapist!! : )

I showed Kashi some of my design work I really enjoy having him learn more about me.

I do the show and tell thing too.... in a way it's kinda like, letting the items talk for me.....?

Thanks for your comments. I share more with my current T than any others, also. Not sure why.

I've been seeing my T for 6 years. She does SE, somatic experiencing, so she's interested in body reactions, and how I feel in the here and now. It's not how I emotionally feel about the distance, but physically. I haven't been able to answer those kinds of questions very well, but she keeps asking me anyway!

The email subject came up because there have been changes in the rules. She used to answer every email but at some point I got frustrated with some of her replies. We tried changing it so I email but she doesn't reply, or I don't email at all. I thought she didn't want me to process my sessions via email, which is what I had been doing. She wants me to be able to settle myself and wait until my next session to discus with her. I did that for awhile, but often I want to touch base with her in between sessions. She says she never told me I couldn't email so if I do it, it's all right and she will answer. She told me on Tuesday that it wouldn't work if she forbids emails. It has to be my decision.

My T is the one who brought it up. I never would have the nerve to ask a T!

Thanks! I think I do have a great T. That's so nice you're bringing your grandson to therapy! You have a great T too.

I bring my artwork too.

I talk to T about whatever I'm bringing.