Dear Client

I'll be here today, like I always am. Yes, you are a difficult patient but not more than I can handle.

Dear E - yes you matter but get a grip. I am only your T. There is only so much I can do, only so much I am allowed to do, and only so much I am willing to do. I do care about you. I can't be your whole world. Let others in. -Dr. S.

QM,

Yes back off from my private spaces. Back off.

Dear QMs T,

You can't see your clients only once a month and expect them to come by without you in the mean time. Yes, you're allowed to have private space, but you also have to be there for your clients

Demunies T
( QM)

Your poem weirded me out a bit but I won't tell you that.

Hugs <3

The once a month thing is very hard. I can call her at the 2 week mark for about ten minutes but it goes through the hospital hotline and the clinic line, and yknow...hiding in a large echoey office corridor where anyone can walk by and overhear is SOOO not ideal. I envy her inpatients.

I don't even have a regular session day now thanks to a very recent work change and her schedule being full.

Come on Echos. I believe in you.

Annie,
Please be honest in the worksheet that I gave you. I won't read it if you don't want me to, but I hope you let me. I'm worried about you, now that you told me about your drinking problem. I want to help you, but you won't let me in. You avoid the hard questions. I know they're hard, but you won't grow or feel better unless you make yourself vulnerable and answer them. I know you know that. Please try. You can do it.
See you next week.
T

cinnamon_roll,

I'm proud of you, I know how much it cost you last week to be open about your anger and your hurt. And? The world didn't end, did it? You survived.

Did you notice that - once you acknowledged this anger - you appeared to be much more spunky and fiery?! I like it when you show your energy - it really suits you. And there's no reason to hide it.

So, for this week: Try to stay true to yourself and your feelings. Don't hide.

Love,
art T.

Art, I'm glad you texted yesterday and asked for what you want. There has been a change in you recently I've noticed, like i mentioned you never used to say "yes" to a glass of water, and now this - you didn't just ask if you could come and leave the ball in my court, you specifically said you want to come talk today at 5:30. Well done. See you then.
T

Dear captgut
*sigh*
I can't say i'm looking forward to seeing you today, but i don't hate you.
Maybe i'm tired of you... but i don't hate you.
You're weird and sometimes annoying, but i don't hate you.
Because
You're so boring, that you don't deserve my hate.
*rolls eyes*
You deserve my boredom and annoyance though.

Daisy,

I hope you can see that what happened this weekend was coming from a place of concern and wanting to support you. I'm sorry that it scared you. I had no idea. You've matured so much, and I trust you when you say that you're safe.

Please don't cancel your next session. We're doing so much good work together.

T

Water bear,

I am trying so hard to be all of what you need, when you need it, without it impacting on my life in a way which would impact on your therapy, on our work together. It is a tightrope, as you have said before, and it is difficult for me to know what is best. But I do believe that together we will muddle through. There will be times when I won't give you the perfect answer or be the perfect T, but I am trying my best. There are times, too, when your actions make me think, but I know that you are trying your best, too, and really, that is all that matters. Both of us just trying to do our best. What more can either party really ask.

It will be OK, I believe that it will always be OK.

Go out there and enjoy your life, Waterbear. Make the most of every single moment when you are able to, because there are so many times when you are not able, and that is OK too. Just try, in those times, to look after yourself, until it passes. It does pass, you are seeing that now.

I am fond of you, and I am as intrigued as you are as to where this journey will take us.

Annie,
I hope you haven't been drinking a lot. But it's okay if you are. We'll have a lot to talk about on Friday.
T

Dear LT,
I guess I should have expected you'd be having some paternal transference after yesterday's session. I mean, I was basically sitting there, demonstrating for you guys how to be a nurturing father, calming his kids and making them feel safe and secure.

I'm trying to figure out how to respond to your e-mail. Even though I keep saying you shouldn't keep asking for reassurance--those e-mails were much easier to answer! Because all I had to do was say that what you told me was OK, that your feelings are OK, that I'm not bothered by anything you said.

But now, you seem to realize that your feelings are OK, so I can't take the easy road with that one. Wait--maybe I could say something like "That's good you know the feelings are OK. Well done." Eh, you won't be satisfied with that, will you? Maybe, "Thanks for sharing, let's discuss more in session." I bet you would want more than that...Though wait, maybe you really *do* just want reassurance, but feel you can't say it, like in that text you sent a few days ago. OK, maybe I'll do a combo of thanking you for sharing, brief reassurance, saying you're doing a good job, and that it's OK to talk about in a future session. Yeah, that might work!

But I'm going to take some time to ponder it. But if you ask, I'll just tell you that I hadn't had time to read e-mail until I respond. Because I don't want you thinking I'm taking time to think about my responses to you! (I have no idea why that would be a bad thing, but I'll do it anyway. Not everything I do has to make sense.)

And OK, maybe I was feeling a bit of paternal countertransference toward you, too. Especially because you're experiencing something similar to what I do as a parent. And you remind me a lot of my daughter, too. So I feel kind of protective of you. But I probably shouldn't tell you that...

So don't worry, I still accept you. And you'll hear from me at some point...
Take care,
MC

Hey Art. I read your email and I want to respond but I'm not sure what I would say. I feel like you want more than "you're welcome" but I can't give you what I think you want. Although you have been very direct about everything lately, so maybe I should give you a little credit here and stop reading things that aren't there. - T

P.S. i enjoyed experiencing you drumming for yourself yesterday evening. Thank you for being open to that. It was good practice for you, and interesting for me to watch.

Argo,

I'm really sorry about that. I'd like to say it won't happen again, but we both know that would be a lie. Still, I'm sorry.

Sincerely,
T

Good lord quit whinging on about missing her. You knew she was going to die sometime soon. It couldn't really have been that much of a surprise.

)))SD(((

SD I am sorry for your loss. I hope you can let yourself grieve.

Well, I was pretty close. Actual response:
"It is always ok to talk about these feelings. You bring up a lot of good points. If you like, we can talk about them on Monday."

This is grieving, this is normal. You are doing well.

****ing quit sniveling. Buck up. Enough. It has been 3 weeks. Stop wallowing.

SD - I'd like to send you the sentiments that I just imagined my therapist sending to me (above) if you would like them.

Thanks. I imagine yours is more like what the outside therapists would say. It is even what I might mutter at others.

Mine is the inside one - what I would prefer to happen and see myself doing. What I believe should be the way with me. I prefer the stiff upper lip sort of approach. More like this monty python sketch.