Dear Client

If your t could write in this thread like we write to our ts what do you think they would say to you?
I am guessing mine would say dear Mona, when are you ever going to stop coming to see me. I think you are using your training as an excuse to keep seeing me.
T, for once you are spot on. My attachment runs deep.

What I'm scared he'd say:
MBM17, It's been nice, but this is the end. I'm done. I don't really care. You think you're such a big deal. You think you're suffering. You agonize about all these "big emotions" you talk about. You talk about all the things you "can't say" or are "too afraid to say" and you won't tell them to me. Get over it already. You think you've had trauma with past therapists and you keep whining about it.
You're too attached. You're care too much, and that's inappropriate.
You're manipulative and a bad person and a drain on everyone around you.
Meh, I'm done with all of it.
I don't care to keep doing this, so see ya later. Have a nice life. I have better things to do with my time.

What he'd probably really say:
MBM17, I'm on your team. I've told you that. I'm still here, and you won't be too much. It's okay that you don't believe that yet. You will. We're stable.

Because that's what he really says.

Dear Longing

Please just grow up already.

You've wasted more thank half a lifetime living in your head, using fantasy to either scare the beejesus out of yourself if soothe yourself. There is an actual world out there with people in it who manage to get up every morning, engage with one another and get stuff done without all the carry on about fear and triggers and trauma - just follow their example and get on with it.

And as for all this garbage about me taking care of you or abusing you or doing both at once - well, what do you expect? Your a half-there human being choosing to live a half-life.

You won't even care for or protect yourself. Why should anyone else do it?

Oh, and the 'memories' you think you made up? If you think they're made up, they probably are.

Dear Quarter-Life-Crisis,

You don't need to be here, but I'm happy to see you anyway. I'm happy to see you because I'm tired. The clinic is underfunded and I'm underpaid. I work too much and my personal life is ****. That's why I run so much. The vast majority of my clients face endemic social issues I am, basically, powerless to address: Homelessness, poverty, lack of education and employment. Most of them are heroin addicts. This is the population to whom I have chosen to dedicate my life.

You come in and talk about Descartes. And Beavers.

I wish you'd talk about Descartes less because I find it dull and it makes me feel stupid. Other times, when your extended adolescence is sticking out like a sore thumb, you ask me easy questions. Like how to file a w-2 and whether beavers eat fish. I went to school too many years to be a glorified guidance counselor for Millennials, which is why I don't work with people like you full time, but it still flatters my ego to feel knowledgeable.

Please stop writing my inner monologue now. It's weird and you have better things to do with your time. Maybe go breathe mindfully or something, M'kay?

Best,

T

Dear ATAT,

What would have been so wrong about accepting my lurve for you?

No. 1

(This is an awesome idea - ATAT)

This is really interesting to consider.
I think he would say he is proud of me, especially when I stand up for my own values and hold to my integrity. And that he has seen me grow a lot over the last two years, and that he enjoys working with me and he cares.
All these things he's said to me before, and I think they are at the core of his feelings towards me.
And...I am absolutely going to ask him to consider this and write it down for me!

Oh this is easy today:

Dear Art. What the hell was with you today?!

Dear Lola,
I'm trying to not hurt your feelings but your emails are a bit on the excessive side and I can't keep up with them. I also don't want to keep up with them because I'd rather talk in person. I wish you would reality check more when you have thoughts about me hating you. I wish you would be easier on yourself though, when you feel "too dependent". We both know where this feeling comes from. I'm happy that you like science fiction, so we can talk about that.
Signed,
T

Kashi might say what he has said to me directly -
Dear growly,
I have only known you a short time but I find you quite likable despite your fears. I would love to get into your head and erase all of that self judgement and self hatred. You can do this and I am confident that you will be ok. I'm honestly not sure how to help you yet but I wished you loved dbt skills as much as I do. God I love dbt. How can you not love dbt ? Anyways I'll try to sell you hard on it just give me time. I have impulses to invite you over such as thanksgiving but I know boundary wise that would have been a terrible idea for both of us. I've said we can be friendly but we can't be friends.
-Kashi

Hey there!

Long time no see. Glad to hear things are going well for you and the fam. I always knew you could do it. Say hi to everyone, and of course, let me know if you need anything.

Knowing her she would say something like...
Dear P
I'm always here waiting for you. I wish you were ready to try the body work because it will help you to release the trauma. But I will never push you too hard because I don't want to scare you. My biggest wish for you is that you will feel safe enough to find a way to release all of the heartbreak,hurt, and anger that you have neatly tucked away . I'm ready when you are.

Now I really want to know if we project onto our therapists( of course we do to some extent) but do we really project all of this onto them or is this how they really feel.

I really like this Kashi dude, he sounds like a keeper

I'm certain this is how she feels because she has said all of the above to me , just not in that order or word for word but she wants me to get it al out.

He's become more unpredictable so I'm no longer confident in my perception of how he feels about me, but he'd probably write that he is an imperfect therapist and needs me to accept that.

Junkdna,

Stop being so obsessed with me it's creepy.

T

Anyone else feel like they have a bad made up transference version of T in their mind, and then the realistic good kind caring version of T?

Junkdna,

I know this work is really painful but I'm proud of you for getting through it. I care about you very much.

Realistic T

A few months ago, when T said I was e-mailing too much, she'd initially suggested that I try typing up an e-mail to her, but not sending it. I mentioned this to marriage counselor, and he said maybe I could also try writing how I wish she'd respond. And then he added that I could also try writing what I'd be afraid she'd say. I have yet to do that actual exercise, but what you said here reminds me of it. Like, I worry she and MC are thinking certain things, but in reality, they'd probably respond completely differently. I suspect what's really in their head might be someplace in between.

yes... when i am not with my T he is like a totally different person in my mind. i go see him and i am super freaked out and scared because ive created this version of him in my mind, and i expect thats what ill meet with... but hes the same old T i know and love...i dont know when i will ever learn...

I have no idea - I can't imagine that there is anything he would genuinely like me to know that he doesn't say. That would be counterproductive to the therapy, surely.

Bring me more pie!

Honestly, i have no idea. He is like the Energizer Bunny, and i am like idk a dead battery? We are so different. Except that he accommodates himself to me. So really, idk.

Dear Sandbox,

Why did you disappear? Things were going so well! I miss having you around to listen to my problems. I need to tell you more about my dating life and how much trouble I have with my officemates. I'm vaguely offended that you ghosted on me. Good luck with whatever your problems were.

Dear Tsunami,
I wish you didn't have to be in so much pain. I realize how much you are suffering and wish I could take it all away. We are a team (something he really said).

(Mine was mostly stuff he actually said. I exaggerated the dbt part but he really does loooove it more than I do. The only thing he did not say was wanting to invite me to thanksgiving. Knowing him though I would think that the thought crossed his mind. He is a nurturing person)

Dear Luce,
I am so glad you have finally found someone who you think can help you. You matter to me but I am tired, and I can't be there for you as much as I would like to be. You can do this. You know how to do it. Just keep going. I will always be here cheering for you from far away.
Love ex-T