Dear Client

I'm back in my comfort zone now you stopped talking about the relationship. Keep it up.

You’re so damn f. Stupid. How is it that you’ve been seeing me for 2.5years and you still haven’t learned how to say no? Why do you still feel so completely and utterly helpless? It’s not that hard. Get yourself together. I should have thrown you out long ago, you’re hopeless and you won’t ever get better anyway.

And stop dreaming about me, too, for Pete's sake!!

You are easily my most annoying client. You have been at a standstill for the whole two years I have been seeing you. You make no progress because you don't even try to be vulnerable. What is wrong with you? What are you so afraid of?

I feel powerless
(he actually said that)
I hate you, I'm tired, go away, f off
(He didn't say that)

"To all my clients:

You often feel like acting out, and that's a good healthy emotion.
The question is how?

Ghosting, cancelling, texting or clamming up will achieve nothing.

The best way for a client to act out is to come into the office and shout at me in person.

See you there!"

Dear LT,
You're freaking out right now, aren't you? I told you everything would be OK. Please believe me. I still care. I don't hate you. I'm not even angry.

See you in a few hours. I have an extra box of tissues ready.
--Dr. T

Dude. What the F--K did we just talk about??? Why are you so hell-bent on destroying your own life?????

Dear Lost,

I see you trying to fight your natural instinct to hide. I don't want you to feel alone with this any more than you do. I'm here, you're safe. Let me in?

Love,

R

Dear weaver, I really do get so frustrated with you. I try to contain it but sometimes it spills out.
I do hope we can still work together!

Dark One,
I want to be kind and compassionate to you at all times but you are really pushing things. I wish I knew how I felt about what you told me, like should I feel sad, angry, upset, or what? I'm not sure if I"m perfectly fine nothing wrong. Really, I guess, there is nothing to be upset about. I kept telling you that things you were saying were new to me. I think you remember (not sure if I remember) telling you that some people want to stay sick because they can stay with the therapist. I hear your thoughts and know that what you were telling me is, in fact, true. I guess you just didn't share the things with me, like time going inch by inch. (I hear you saying, "I did tell you over and over). Okay, I believe you. I do remember that you said you did well when I was gone expect for the fact of the work issues. I'm proud of you but won't tell you as it would trigger you. I believe in you. I am doing fine, as always. You haven't hurt me (or at least I think so). I think you are navigating this land mine as if you were an expert, and it impresses me. We will always be okay. Always. I loved your bravery and courage in what you told me because it unearthed the paranoid mechanism that happens in you. Maybe we can fix that together. Please, please, please write to me in the Dear T thread (hahaha-----I had to do that See you on Monday.

TheSeaCat, I know you are angry at me for making you have four sessions compared to our usual three; but aren't you glad I made you have an extra session. You seem to have gotten over the boyfriend, handled an insurance fiasco, handled a problem at work. You are excelling in so many ways. I even agreed with you that we could do two sessions a week and from now on. You can even text or call me anytime you have an issue. I am trying to help; so please for the love of everything stop fighting me on your diagnosis's. You have PTSD and that is final.

S,

You threaten to quit every other week and I'm just used to it now!. See you on Tuesday.

P.s Your work ethic is admirable, but you're burning yourself out. You're seriously not even behind!

I'm sorry I can't see you as often as you need. It's out of both of our control. Please stay safe in between sessions.

Happy Birthday

Dear client: compared to the other people I see (she also works in a psych hospital) you have nothing to complain about. Get it together. Stop bothering me.

MM,
Please keep taking your medication until you see me. I really need you to trust me. I can't help if I'm unaware. You're allowed to call me. I know others have hospitalised you for similar feelings. That's not me. I may not trust you but that's up to me. We can talk about it. Whatever you choose to do don't stop your medication.


NP

Yes - I did set you up, mocked you, and humiliated you. I enjoy setting traps for clients. If only you would have submitted.

Dear Jersey,
I’m sorry. You’re right. I ****ed up big time.
-J

Dear Lost,

It goes the same whether I say the words or not. 'Be kind, be kind, be kind to yourself...'

Take care of yourself, see you soon.

R

Shehulk,
Please stop wasting my time. I have more important, and more deserving clients than you. I'm tired of hearing the same things day after day for you to only seem to get worse lately. I'm done trying to help.

Echos,
I literally have no idea what to say to you. I am trying but nothing is good enough for you. I'm getting tired of it. Just leave me alone for a bit will you?

Art, especially after that last email, you are never getting out of the clutches of psychotherapy now. Yes you may be escaping my little realm of it, but you are so messed up, we as a whole have you for the rest of your natural born days. Better get used to the idea, my screwed-up little chickadee.

No, no, no. That is a terrible idea.

Naturally, you're the expert on your own life. You should trust your own instincts, find your own voice, follow your own path. I respect your autonomy as a intelligent thinking person, and encourage you to make your best choices out there in the world. And all that other therapist-y crap. But seriously, for the love of Pete, listen to your friends and your attorney and your sisters and your coworkers. And me: NO.

P.S. Aren't you divorced yet?

Art please don't cancel. I think it's important for you that we talk about what you wrote.
P.S. you are not broken. Yes you have some issues. But you are not broken.