Dear Client

Hi E - tomorrow is Friday, please don't email me. I am out of encouraging things to say.- Dr. S.

Dear Art:

Don't you dare apologize for asking for what you wanted. Why did you call yourself bad for asking? Will I ever freaking get through to you?! Sometimes you annoy the crap outta me, but not for the reasons you think. I hope you are planning for a full session next time because I have some things to say to you.

T

--Hoped one--

Dear captgut
Why don't you believe me? I can't lie, you know
You don't annoy me. I take care of you.
I'm always glad to see you, and I don't think you're hopeless

Dreaded response:

What more can I do?! I've already done everything and can't get through to you. I'm so frustrated with you, with this situation. I'm at a loss. And what do you want me to do? You keep being afraid I'll tell you to leave no matter how many times I've told you! What do you want me to do? Push you away? If that's you want, just let me know. I can make that happen.

More likely to be true response:

I'm doing everything I can think of to help you here. I wish I knew what else to do to help you heal. I'm so ticked at your old therapists and the damage they did. I wish I could go back and kick their *** for doing this to you. I let some of that frustration show in session, frustration at your therapists and frustration that they created this situation that otherwise didn't need to be and frustration that I wish I knew what you needed. I'm sorry that it made you feel like I was frustrated at you. It's not you I'm frustrated at.

I'm still here. I'm staying. You're not too much or wrong. Whatever you say, it's not going to change how I think of you. Your nature is not wrong, and you don't always do the wrong thing, even if you believe that. You've finished telling me your list of things you held back and hid out of fear. I'm still here. I wish you could believe me that I'm here to help and am not going anywhere and who you are is okay. I wish these old therapists wouldn't have caused you to be unable to believe me.

Annie,
I feel like we are making a lot of progress, but we can't get much further if you don't ****ing open up. I know it's hard for you, I know the things you are feeling are distressing. But you have to learn how to put your feelings into words or else I'm never going to be able to help you.
T

Dear growly-
Tomorrow will be a hoot!! I get to try my hypnosis certification on you!! Driving phobia - at least it's a change from treating smoking cessation or erectile dysfunction. Did I tell you that those men call me a week later to crow about thier ability to keep an erection? I did? Maybe as a therapist that was an over share.

Remember, no caffeine after noon before our session. Now cluck like a chicken! Darlin' that was a joke.

Good job E, you made it through Friday, 2 more days... you can do it. If I don't hear from you, I trust that you are doing fine. I don't need to hear it from you. Dr. S.

are you going to come in and shut down again? im getting really tired of that

your T

Dear ATAT,

Well, I guess I'm your therapist now. In less than two years you've had four therapists and a psychiatrist and something went badly wrong with each of them. Doesn't instill a lot of confidence, huh?

Given who I am, we'd better hope nothing goes wrong this time...

The Universe

Hi captgut
**** off
go kill yourself, finally

Hugs....

Dear butterfly,
Relax!

Dear Client,
I like your hugs. You're not being too needy. It's okay.

-T

T,

I didn't know I had sustained a loss the moment it happened. There was no awareness (on my part), no possibility for my own grief..or validation, rescue or comfort from others. *I* minimized my own experiences.

That's mind screwing. My feelings of grief and loss still feel disconnected.

Why do I do that???

Dear Client,

Because you have not resolved it - trauma like this is hard because of what it is, but it is also hard because it doesn't fit in with our thinking about the world and the way things work. People we trust aren't supposed to betray us, the world we trust is not supposed to betray us. We don't have a place for trauma. It's hard to figure out how it fits.

Let's talk more about this and more about the loss of your child when we are together. ...
T

Dear (?) captgut

QM,

I believe you, I've always believed you, even when you did not believe yourself. I believe in you too.

MBM,

Are you doing alright this week? I'm thinking about you and I'm a little worried. It always makes me so sad when your bipolar does this to you. You know that I know you're the hardest worker inside and outside of therapy. This isn't your fault - any of it - so I understand your anger (and sadness and all the other feelings from our session), but you really need to accept this. I know you desperately want some control, some ability to affect the chemicals, and if there were any way possible, you would have figured it out long ago. You don't have control. The chemicals change, and we just have to get through it until they change again. You know this.

At least I got you to laugh at the end of session. I hope that helped so I didn't leave you upset.

T

Dear Lost,

When I first met you, I told you I thought you were brave for sharing your story with me. I still believe that, even when you think we're going around in circles. There's a light at the end of the tunnel, and no...it's not an oncoming train.

Cheers,

R

Dear E, Yep, I can't make it next week as scheduled, so you should get a cancelation notice soon. Sure you can email me. It's good that you see you are not in crisis, so I wish you wouldn't email me. There is nothing I can do for you that a friend couldn't do. Get a life. - Dr. S.

Dear Butterfly,

Why have you been out of therapy so long?

-old t

Dear Universe,

I have no intentions to email Elio today. Perhaps I should have made that clear when I told them that I would miss them today. Missing does not mean I will contact them because I can sit with the feelings and respect the boundaries of this relationship.

Dr S

captgut,

Uuuugggghh

Dear Captgut,
As long as you're alive, there is hope. As long as you're brave enough to keep trying, even when the pain is beyond description, there is hope. You don't have to feel it to know that it's there. Like knowing the sun is just hidden behind the clouds, not gone forever.

Sincerely,
Parva's therapist

Thank you, Parva's T!

You're right.

Captgut posts here very sad and hurting things sometimes, but I know she's very brave. And I'm really care about her.

I'm also glad she has found this forum. There are a lot of nice people, and it really helps. Our last session she looked better.

Best wishes,
captgut's T

Dear Coco,

I am so proud of you. Look how strong you've grown and how well you handle all that life throws at you. I knew you were ready to leave, and I knew you knew too. You were just a little afraid to cut the cord. That's okay. You were so brave to actually do it. I'm proud of that too. I don't like to see you go, but it's my job to make myself redundant. And if one day you need help, I'll still be here. Just call.

Take care,
T