[alpacalicious]

I can't stop thinking about this and I'm feeling really bad and sad for this stupid thing. At the end of the session I asked my T when sessions will end, and she said to me that we can't know, sessions will end when I will achieve therapy goals. I stayed quiet for a bit, and then told her what if I want to quit? I want to change T and see if there is a T near my area. Then my T seemed surprised, and said to me that we have work to do, but she told me "if you want to quit, you can go" but she didn't seem happy with it, she didn't agree with me. I'm thinking that maybe she is mad at me now because I want to quit and she doesn't think it's a good idea, maybe she want me to stay. I'm feeling bad and I feel I'm a bad person.

[cinnamon_roll]

alpacalicous: You are NOT a bad person.
And please, don't feel stupid or bad for bringing this topic up and discussing it with your T. You are a free person and you are free to change therapists - for whatever reason.
Maybe your T was just surprised because she didn't expect this discussion. And maybe not at this point in time.
After all, she said, that you could go... So I don't think she is mad with you.

Maybe it is worth looking into how she could support you during this transition:

• What areas does she think you need to continue to work on?
• Are there any specific qualifications that your (current) T thinks might be useful for a new T to have (when I started looking for a new T (because of insurance) my old T recommended I should look for someone experienced in trauma recovery and attachment stuff.)
• Could she write a report for next T about the areas you've covered so far?
• Could you keep seeing her until you found a new T that you feel you can work with? So that you are not left on your own during this time?

If she really thinks this isn't a good idea (and explicitly says so) I would ask her what makes her think so. Maybe she is worried that you will be without support during this time of transition? Maybe she is worried that you might end up without T, since the search can prove quite difficult at times?

And maybe she might find it difficult to let go - but this would be about her and not about you.


Sending you warm hugs, and please, don't beat yourself up about this.

That seems like a small child's thinking. Is best to test this thoughts with a mature direct conversation with the T.

[missbella]

The therapist is an employee with no authority or supremacy over the client. The latter is completely free to do what she wants. It's about the client's life, not the therapist's vanity

[alpacalicious]

Thanks for the replies I'm doing fine now, my T is a professional, surely she isn't holding grudges against me only because I want to leave, and if it's like this, hypothetically speaking, it's her problem and not mine. Next time I want to tell her I want to quit, but not quit therapy, I want to continue and search another T. I think I wasn't clear about this with her, she thought I wanted to quit therapy forever, that I didnt want to work on my issues.

[ABC1357]

Originally Posted by alpacalicious

Thanks for the replies I'm doing fine now, my T is a professional, surely she isn't holding grudges against me only because I want to leave, and if it's like this, hypothetically speaking, it's her problem and not mine. Next time I want to tell her I want to quit, but not quit therapy, I want to continue and search another T. I think I wasn't clear about this with her, she thought I wanted to quit therapy forever, that I didnt want to work on my issues.

Glad to hear you are feeling better I think you have good reason to switch therapist if you are graduating college. If you just tell her it'll be too far to come to the college and want to find someone closer to your home, she cannot take it offensive. Your college may have community provider list. Hope you will find better match