Right now I hate my t. I am beginning to wonder why I gave her a Christmas present because as soon as I gave it to her, I wanted to take it back. Tonight's session was awful and I wanted to get up and storm out at one stage. This is a good lesson that it's not working between me and t anymore, or ever. I am not sure and that hurts because it's Christmas and I hate my t!

Sorry to hear, mona.... but this has been going on for quite a while... Would you consider starting the new year with a new T?

It has been going on for too long, longer than I can bear. I am on the verge of giving up on therapy because it doesn't work for me anyway

[Waterbear]

Oh Mona, that is rubbish. From what I have heard if your T she doesn't sound like the nicest person around, please don't let her spoil your Christmas. You sound like such a lovely person and you deserve better than relationship which seems to cause you pain and suffering. Hugs.

[Out There]

I'm sorry Mona - your T gave away the book you gave her as a gift , did she not ? Deep down we DO know that it's not working and not good for us. It's like we keep putting money in a slot machine hoping it's going to pay out. Did you read the thread on leaving the abusive T ? I had to walk away from a 25 year friendship - it's difficult and I'm still grieving it , but it had become a lot like my relationship with my Mother ( and I did not want a replacement Mother , or at least anyone like my Mother ). I know how difficult it is Mona , but it's nearly a New Year which is a good time to try something new and different and tell ourselves we're going to break those old patterns now and move on with our lives. Hugs as always.

Originally Posted by monalisasmile

It has been going on for too long, longer than I can bear. I am on the verge of giving up on therapy because it doesn't work for me anyway

I would maybe take a break from it and think if there is perhaps something in my choices in the first place, what draws me to people like this... before starting with someone new.

[junkDNA]

i gave my T a present yesterday. i went back and forth over it for abt a month..but ended up giving it to him. he seemed to like it. i did take it out of the bag i got for it tho... it felt like too much... a pretty bag with tissue paper. i felt embarrassed about it...so i just brought him the item

i agree with the other posters that your T seems very unkind and unprofessional

[LadyShadow]

I am sorry you are struggling with this. Maybe take a break. I gave my T a present one year, but he's a great T so he deserves it.

Maybe it's time you get yourself a new one if it's not working out. Definitely don't let it ruin your Christmas!

[growlycat]

I'm sorry to read this too. Can you start interviewing new t's as a gift to yourself?

[1stepatatime]

I'm sorry for all the heartache this therapist has caused you. Think about the therapist that YOU are .. what you aspire to be,, your desire to help others; you're empathetic.. I see it in your responses to others. Ask yourself " why do I allow myself to be treated this way?" You deserve to be treated with kindness, respect, and compassion. I hope that you'll start the new year by ridding yourself of this toxic woman and give yourself the space and time that you need to find a therapist that will be a MUCH better fit : )

Mona, I'm so sorry your T was and is still so hurtful. I agree with Waterbear, you deserve better than a relationship which causes you so much pain and suffering. You deserve so, so, much better. You deserve a therapist who strives to be a good therapist, and is a good therapist like how you strive with your own clients.

I agree with Out There that this intermittent random goodness from your T mixed with so much hurt is hard to break away because one keeps hoping like playing a slot machine.

Should you decide to leave this beloved but harmful T, I'm sure we at PC will do what we can to support you *hugs*

Originally Posted by growlycat

I'm sorry to read this too. Can you start interviewing new t's as a gift to yourself?

I have been seeing this t for three years and I am tired of therapy. Maybe I have had enough of it. Maybe a break of Christmas will help me decide.

Originally Posted by QuietMind

Mona, I'm so sorry your T was and is still so hurtful. I agree with Waterbear, you deserve better than a relationship which causes you so much pain and suffering. You deserve so, so, much better. You deserve a therapist who strives to be a good therapist, and is a good therapist like how you strive with your own clients.

I agree with Out There that this intermittent random goodness from your T mixed with so much hurt is hard to break away because one keeps hoping like playing a slot machine.

Should you decide to leave this beloved but harmful T, I'm sure we at PC will do what we can to support you *hugs*

Thank you for the support quiet mind
It's always confusing with my t. I never really know what way she will be with me. All I need from a t is empathy and to at least try understand me. I am not getting this from t. It felt abusive last night. Telling me I am whining, I feel like I can't talk to her anymore and it hurts.

Originally Posted by LadyShadow

I am sorry you are struggling with this. Maybe take a break. I gave my T a present one year, but he's a great T so he deserves it.

Maybe it's time you get yourself a new one if it's not working out. Definitely don't let it ruin your Christmas!

Thank you Lady shadow, good advice

Originally Posted by 1stepatatime

I'm sorry for all the heartache this therapist has caused you. Think about the therapist that YOU are .. what you aspire to be,, your desire to help others; you're empathetic.. I see it in your responses to others. Ask yourself " why do I allow myself to be treated this way?" You deserve to be treated with kindness, respect, and compassion. I hope that you'll start the new year by ridding yourself of this toxic woman and give yourself the space and time that you need to find a therapist that will be a MUCH better fit : )

She is toxic and that all I am used to being surrounded by. I really felt like a little girl being scolded by her! Thank you 1step I feel very emotional as I read your kind words

Originally Posted by Xynesthesia

I would maybe take a break from it and think if there is perhaps something in my choices in the first place, what draws me to people like this... before starting with someone new.

There is lots of abuse in my past, as t says I have an extremely high tolerance for abuse. I guess this is why I am both drawn to and attract these type of people.

Originally Posted by Out There

I'm sorry Mona - your T gave away the book you gave her as a gift , did she not ? Deep down we DO know that it's not working and not good for us. It's like we keep putting money in a slot machine hoping it's going to pay out. Did you read the thread on leaving the abusive T ? I had to walk away from a 25 year friendship - it's difficult and I'm still grieving it , but it had become a lot like my relationship with my Mother ( and I did not want a replacement Mother , or at least anyone like my Mother ). I know how difficult it is Mona , but it's nearly a New Year which is a good time to try something new and different and tell ourselves we're going to break those old patterns now and move on with our lives. Hugs as always.

Yes, she gave my book away to my colleague who happens to be a close friend of hers. She also gave away a cake I made her. I get it now, she wants nothing to do with me. Attachment and attraction to her or any t are out of bounds and these happen to be my two biggest problems. It's inevitable, I must leave my t. You know something about the pain and sorrow attached with leaving unhealthy relationships Outhere it's not easy, I admire you for leaving after so long, it's so easy just to stay but when the pain of staying is too much we have to leave. You know as you are telling me about your relationship and how it had become like your mother and yours relationship. I have noticed this in our relationship. T calls me childish and whiny and I sit there shamed and scolded and don't talk to her anymore.

Originally Posted by junkDNA

i gave my T a present yesterday. i went back and forth over it for abt a month..but ended up giving it to him. he seemed to like it. i did take it out of the bag i got for it tho... it felt like too much... a pretty bag with tissue paper. i felt embarrassed about it...so i just brought him the item

i agree with the other posters that your T seems very unkind and unprofessional

How did your tvreact to the present? I hope he appreciates how much thought you put into it?

Originally Posted by Waterbear

Oh Mona, that is rubbish. From what I have heard if your T she doesn't sound like the nicest person around, please don't let her spoil your Christmas. You sound like such a lovely person and you deserve better than relationship which seems to cause you pain and suffering. Hugs.

A few weeks ago I would have argued with you and said that my t is just misunderstood but she isn't kind or nice anymore. I guess this means I am growing away from her / unattaching .
Thank you so much Waterbear

[velcro003]

I am glad you are seeing her abusive ways as just that-abusive. I am very sorry you have to deal w this. A break is a good idea, to get a feel of how it is without her. We are here to support you. She really is doing more harm than good, and I've felt like that for awhile ��

Originally Posted by velcro003

I am glad you are seeing her abusive ways as just that-abusive. I am very sorry you have to deal w this. A break is a good idea, to get a feel of how it is without her. We are here to support you. She really is doing more harm than good, and I've felt like that for awhile í*½í¸ž

Thank you for your support Velcro. It took me a long time to see the harm she was doing but I see it now. T is very subtle because she is being abusive but in a min direct way. I have thought for a long time that she is too passionate about me and what's me to change so much she will do anything to move me out of this impasse