[ABC1357]

I have a lot of issues, and I have a lot of memories that still disturbs me. But It's too much, and I don't know where to start. I have the issue for decades, and new issues always come up. I don't know if just talking any of feeling/struggle/memory helps me. My t told me I can talk whatever I want to, but I don't know what I want to talk, and he's just waiting. I know I need help, and I need to work on my issue. But I don't know what to talk. I just go to session, feel anxious and overwhelmed, and leave. Anyone has any advice?

[Pink poppy]

Originally Posted by ABC1357

I have a lot of issues, and I have a lot of memories that still disturbs me. But It's too much, and I don't know where to start. I have the issue for decades, and new issues always come up. I don't know if just talking any of feeling/struggle/memory helps me. My t told me I can talk whatever I want to, but I don't know what I want to talk, and he's just waiting. I know I need help, and I need to work on my issue. But I don't know what to talk. I just go to session, feel anxious and overwhelmed, and leave. Anyone has any advice?

Have you just started therapy? It's hard in the beginning but I tend to talk about what is on my mind or what sort of week I've had, particularly when it's been a difficult week. Maybe tell her what sort of issue or topic is on your mind? I'm fairly new to all this myself so not sure if I am much help but there are lots in here who have been in therapy a long time who give good advice x

Hi ABC1357,

I was in your shoes at one time,with so many issues I needed to address but not knowing where to start.

Something that helped me was making a numbered list of things I needed/wanted to talk about in sessions.I made the list and took it with me each week and crossed them off as I talked about them.

I read through the list before sessions( and added any new ones as needed).Whatever was on my mind the most or bothering me most was what I chose ahead of time to address.The times I felt completely overwhelmed with everything I would give my T the list and ask him to pick a number,and that's what I would talk about.

If there were things I knew I wouldn't be able to talk about,I wrote them out ahead of time,and I would turn my chair around and read them out loud so I didn't have to face my T.If that didn't work,I would just give my T what I had written and let him read it.

It worked pretty well for me,it might for you also.

[ABC1357]

Thank you guys. Maybe I should be patient...

Pink poppy: Yes, I'm relatively new to therapy, and I recently changed t. So I need to start over.

Crisp Apple: I will try. I think I can write, and that would be easier for me to talk if I'm prepared. Therapy is really tough work.

[Elio]

I started seeing my t for "adjustment disorder". I had a life altering event that put me into a serious depression. For the first 5-6 visits, I talked about the life altering event and cried. She provided support, listened, and validated my experience. Then I decided to go in for the long haul. I knew I had many issues that put me just within arms reach of so many dx's that I didn't know how to tackle things. All my previous experience with therapy had been short term CBT style. And none of that really touched the core issues when the emotional storms were happening. I like I said, I decided that I liked this t enough and trusted her at a level that I thought I could work with her over the long haul. I then wrote out a very long letter that spelled out all my issues as I perceived them including possible dx's, character traits, personality disorders, sexuality and gender, weight and eating, attachment, and some beliefs. I then listed out my goals - which were and still are pretty generic - to live whatever is the remaining days of my life in less pain (emotional and physical), work on my gender dysphoria, work on resolving/addressing my eating issues so that I am able to get to and maintain appropriate weight/fitness levels.

From here I went several months of not knowing what to say, what was important and what wasn't, second guessing everything even though I would walk through the door with a list of topics.

Like CrispApple, I wrote stuff out and when I could/can (as just Wednesday she read a letter) I would read it, when I couldn't I would hand it to her to read. She has always been accepting of my level of communication. That was one of the first things I needed her to do, was to be able to receive information as I communicated it.

What I have come to ... is it doesn't matter when we talk about what we talk about - the process isn't linear and talking about something once doesn't mean it won't come back. It is important that I communicate ... simply communicate and over time things come up. Now I don't stress it - I still have a list, I don't always stick to the list and more often than not, the list consists of... keep talking about x from previous session.