[puzzclar]

I've been in therapy for 11 years and still am about the same.... What's the point?!

Well, maybe ask why have you stayed for 11 years?

[Nammu]

Maybe you need to set some tangible goals? Decide on a behavior you want to change and work on that one thing for a set amount of time.

[CantExplain]

For me, it was taking off my hard shell and bulikng up my soft interior.

To change my behaviors which in turn change my thoughts which I turn change my feelings.

Yanno, that triangle with interactions between all 3!

[growlycat]

I use it to manage my anxiety, learn better interpersonal skills, get better at problem solving and breaking down tasks to managable parts and I use it to have a sense of stability, and that someone in this world gives a fig about me even if I have to pay them to do so.

Huh? Seriously. You wouldn't still be going after 11yrs if it affect no change.

[Erebos]

Same T or a different T. You know it's up to you to decide what changes you need to make. Not your T. They are just there to provide you the tools to do it.
All the best for the future, hope you find out what you are needing.

[puzzclar]

I have a bachelor's degree in psychology.... I thought that would help yet I keep wanting to swallow or better yet throw up my feelings. I'm inconsistent in everything and I almost think it's due to switch therapists so much. I wish I would have done things differently

Originally Posted by puzzclar

I have a bachelor's degree in psychology.... I thought that would help yet I keep wanting to swallow or better yet throw up my feelings. I'm inconsistent in everything and I almost think it's due to switch therapists so much. I wish I would have done things differently

I've also learned from experience that having professional knowledge and qualifications in mental health only helps so much (I have a PhD)... and in some ways, it helps absolutely nothing or can even hinder getting better.

It sounds like you are dissatisfied now... so can you do things differently from now on? Do you have specific goals, what you would like to be different? If so, maybe find the resources and focus on those areas. I found therapy very interesting but was frustrated when I had periods of just aimless wandering. The therapists did not feel the same way and actually encouraged drifting all over the map but that way of doing therapy for extended periods mostly causes me stress and a sense of inadequacy. It works much much better for me when I focus on goals even if sometimes the therapy discussions are not centered around those topics... but I need to see a perspective and what I am working towards.

[Favorite Jeans]

Maybe the point of your therapy was not to change but just to be heard? Or to help you cope?

I don't think everyone's therapy has the same "point." I'm not sure that everyone goes to therapy to change. Sometimes change is the byproduct not the goal. I think this is generally the case for me. I don't usually go to therapy planning to acquire a specific skill or change a specific quality or behaviour. But that is what ultimately happens. I think those changes have been for the better, generally.

If you're not getting what you want, maybe find a new therapist or take a break or (if you haven't already) talk to your current therapist about what you feel is missing.

[MBM17]

the only time I felt like that was when I spent a year meeting with a lady who asked me how my week was, we would kind of chat about it, she would give suggestions that I could have thought of myself, & I would leave. I felt like it was a year wasted of my life.

[MBM17]

I needed a different therapist.

[Favorite Jeans]

Originally Posted by MBM17

the only time I felt like that was when I spent a year meeting with a lady who asked me how my week was, we would kind of chat about it, she would give suggestions that I could have thought of myself, & I would leave. I felt like it was a year wasted of my life.

Oh yeah. That's very unhelpful. I had a therapist like that too. Very pleasant but really it never got past chit chat. I once told her I was trying to get organized and she told me a long story about sorting through her children's clothes to get rid of what they'd outgrown. A long story. Long. And partway through I thought, crap this is gonna set me back $120.

I guess now that you bring this up I'm thinking that there's a difference between not being specifically goal-oriented and truly having no point. If there's really no point it feels like a waste of time. My current therapy is not very goal oriented but I've only very rarely felt that a session was a waste of time.

[BudFox]

I did about 2 yrs of therapy total, spread across a handful of therapists. There was really no point to any of it, except to make the therapists feel needed and to earn them a living.

[seoultous]

I just finished year 8 - same therapist. Occasionally I ask myself why I continue to go and if I feel better about my self or situation because of therapy. I go because it's my one hour a month where I can talk about anything and feel supported not having to worry about anyone else's needs or wants or feelings.

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by puzzclar

I've been in therapy for 11 years and still am about the same.... What's the point?!

Is it possible that you have made more progress than you realise?

[unaluna]

Originally Posted by CantExplain

Is it possible that you have made more progress than you realise?

A work supervisor once asked me, do you have ten years of experience, or do you have the same year of experience ten times? I wanted to punch him!

So THESE past ten years in therapy, i have tried to remember to take stock and set goals every year or so, even if they are just woo-woo t type goals, like "not say no every time t makes a suggestion." Still working on that one...

But overall, i feel i have made progress. Like now, i CAN say no when i really want to, so my yeses and nos are more meaningful. Thats probably something that i should have accomplished at age 5, not 65, but hey better late than never.

The point of my therapy changed from time to time. At times, the point was simply to survive, and my therapist was that resource and support to enable that survival. At other times, the point was to work through my trauma history. At other times, the point was to acquire particular skills that allowed me to function more independently and with more stability. So there were times when "progress" seemed to be stagnant because I was just in survival mode and other times when things moved along more concretely. But there was a general sense of movement in the right direction, even if it wasn't obvious from session to session or even month to month at times. It took stepping back and really looking at the bigger picture of my progress to really see it.

[stopdog]

I doubt the therapist and I are on the same page about the point. The point she thinks and the point I have found it minorly useful for are two entirely different things. I use her mostly to say things that if I tell real people, they get all worked up.
She thinks she is useful in other ways - but she is wrong.

[unaluna]

Maybe thats the real question then that any of us may want to answer. What is the point of our therapy? The answer is unique to each of us.