How do you know something is worth mentioning in therapy?

Just general wondering, my therapist seems to think I tend to minimize things, but I just don't like to make a big deal out of little things, knowing I can be pretty sensitive. So how do I know what I need to talk about in session? I know I have no trauma or anything major that has happened and I know everyone has little or bigger things that might have affected them in life, I just can't tell which ones are the important ones. I compare myself with others a lot so almost everything seems like it's not a big deal cause there are so many people that had worse thing happening to them so I feel that I might sound ridiculous if I mention something that has scared me when I was a child since nothing bad actually happened. I just though it might at that time but I managed to escape the situation. I think it was little disturbing but the fact that it was someone smaller than me involved (although accompanied by someone older) makes me feel embarrassed that I didn't really try to defend myself. And I'm not really sure this one incident has affected me in any way although I have been thinking about it for a long time but probably just because of digging in my past through therapy. I don't know if I'm just looking for things to explain why I'm as weird as I am.

The way I gauge if something is worth mentioning is if it is affecting my day to day life now. If something happens that triggers me, it is worth bringing up in session because I am going to therapy so that my day to day functioning is better. I think keeping things in perspective (worse things have happened to other people, etc) is a good thing to do outside of therapy, but if it's bugging you then it is totally appropriate to bring up in session. Some people find things upsetting that others would just shrug at, the point is that it upset you and is still rattling around in your head. I would bring it up.

Everything is worth mentioning in therapy and if there is something you don't want to mention (for what ever reason) then the more it should be probably mentioned. The best would be if you could just tell what came to your mind at the very moment, all those things are important and are worth mentioning. Good luck1

You're right. And maybe my therapist will be glad that I'm finally really starting to open up

Hmm, you're so right! Sometimes there are things that come to me at the moment and I'm like ooh no, not going there! And I bite my tongue. Maybe next time I should go there so I don't spend months before getting to something important

As said above, everything can be worth mentioning.. Therapy should create a safe space to basically talk about anything in a relatively comforting environment. So yeah, anything that comes to mind!

That said, I often say nothing that comes to mind, and never bring anything up on my own.. This may be why no therapy seems to work for me..... So my best advice would be jump in and talk about as much as you can!

What brought you into therapy in the first place? Maybe start from that and let it unfold naturally.

Its like a jigsaw puzzle - some pieces are the main picture, some pieces are the background, but you need all of them to complete the puzzle.

Exactly. And sometimes with my t, it's months before we find out where a particular piece of the puzzle "fits"!!

It may be the drugs talking, but i think this is my best metaphor ever!

If it is something that is bothering you, regardless of how small you should tell T. I have often thought things are no big deal but for T it is another piece to the puzzle in figuring me out.

It really is!

There is always a reason for the way one is. This is just the truth. One aspect of this is temperament. I am sensitive by nature, so many things impact me more than they might have impacted others. But we also grow up with a very subjective understanding of what is ok, what is acceptable and what is normal. Beyond our own personal experiences we form judgments based on what's in the news and what we see in fiction. So most of us know by the time we are adults that someone who has endured beatings, molestation, dire poverty or war is likely to be traumatised. But in fact human interaction can be a lot more nuanced, subtle and ambiguous than it is in such situations and STILL be extremely wounding.

It started with relationship problems. Or basically my husband telling to figure out what's wrong with me. So now I'm almost obsessed trying to figure it out

I think you're right, thank you

Ha, problem is I don't really talk all that much

I asked same question to my t, and he told me that if I thought I want to tell that to someone, it is relevant to my current feeling, or something is bothering me, all of that means it's worth talking in therapy. I often find something I did not think important means something to my t, so tell as much as you can.

I had (and still have) a lot of trouble to talk in therapy, so I usually write down everything I wished someone could listen, or something bothered me, and bring it to next session.

Two thoughts: 1) If it happened to you, it's important; and 2) There isn't anything in this world that cannot be talked about in therapy.

A word of advice after being in therapy so long, if you have the smallest thing gnawing at you don't pass it off. I used to do that and think it wasn't even worth mentioning. It turns out that those small things turn into huge issues if they are not nipped in the bud.

Everything is worth - and should be - mentioning.

If it at all is entering your mind to consider it, then that is an indication it should be brought up in session.

I am obviously unsure of how your sessions are structured but perhaps you are in a position to discuss that with the therapist/psychiatrist. My own therapist and I spent several minutes drawing up an agenda for the session and I was encouraged to add those things - big or small - as a discussion item.

Thank you! We don't really have agenda. I do have hard time opening up although it did get a lot better after year and a half. But we usually just start talking something small and go from there. He is pretty good with asking me right questions. I know I make him work hard, especially at the beginning when all my answers were I don't know. I did tell him befor that I didn't know what was important and he said whatever I think It is so I should be able to too him anything but usually I just start talking about something easier, and probably less important