Ever since my previous therapist, who would butter meetings as "spiritual journeys" and focusing more on our personal connection rather than the things I tell him, buttering the meetings on and on, I can't trust therapy anymore. I can't trust someone who will work behind the scenes on something I DONT EVENT WANT HIM TO WORK ON!!!
When I'd insist on something else, at times he'd just go silent and COMPLETELY IGNORE WHAT I SAY!!!!!!!!

...

I want it on point, I want it a mind conversation, not a futile emotional and spiritual journey. I don't want to go to a therapist who plays God, the one with hidden intentions.

I have become anti-life - I hate almost everything about it. I feel trapped, wanted a family and now completely hopeless about it because of the difficulty in maintaining relationships, not wanting to bond with friends because those I want to bond with are those who have hurt me so much, hating the fact that I have no control over my life and that it's all about being less in control and who cares if you hurt people along the way (as has happened to a past close friend of mine and possibly other people).
I also don't want to create a family because of my social outcome as someone who has struggles connecting with people and the world - what will be of my kids if I can't have those connection abilities and may lay the same anger abuse as my father has?

I have absolutely no one to talk to. I feel people will dominate me if I talk about my issues more and more, that I'll gradually become the kid and they'll feel better about themselves because they see someone as weak.

Sorry, can't get on-topic without venting.
I want an on-point therapy. Any ideas? Other self-help ideas?

[unaluna]

How you do anything is how you do everything. I think thats a buddhist saying.

It sounds like you are trying to control your t, and cannot connect with him. So, this is the first problem to solve, how to connect with your t. Then you will be able to choose to connect with others. Its like putting up a demo. Learn enough to make it work.

[Rizzar]

“A treatment plan is a written plan created by a therapist and patient that is used as a guide to how therapy should ideally proceed in order to address clinical and any other relevant life issues. It is central to effective therapy.”*

Written treatment plans are maps or guides to therapy. They should contain realistic and measurable goals and objectives and list time frames in which to check in and see if reasonable progress towards achieving the goals and objectives has been made.

*From Therapy Revolution: Find Help, Get Better, and Move On (Without Wasting Time or Money), HCI Books.

Formulating a treatment plan with your therapist is essential.

Originally Posted by unaluna

How you do anything is how you do everything. I think thats a buddhist saying.

It sounds like you are trying to control your t, and cannot connect with him. So, this is the first problem to solve, how to connect with your t. Then you will be able to choose to connect with others. Its like putting up a demo. Learn enough to make it work.

There may be truth to what you say, but this is too complicated to be sure of.
Anyway I left him, and the thing is, I'm not interested in connecting with a therapist. If it were that way, I'd care more about the connection rather than the vital data. I'd want to go for the talk, more than for the analyses and the help. Right now, I rather not have any connection other than something distant and intellectual

[Out There]

You mention your anger and feeling trapped - both things I've had to deal with. I got a punch bag and thumped it that then lead me into feeling. I'm sorry you're not finding therapy helpful.

[thesnowqueen]

your sessions are spiritual journeys! Yikes, I would NEVER have gone back... I'm sure there are those who might respond positively to that but no one I know personally. Not all therapists want to stress the relationship between themselves and client: there are other models. And even if a T often uses that idea they should be able to use other methods if the patient objects. Most Ts (that I have met) consider themselves 'eclectic' which means they do not depend on any one modality.

In my life many of my friends take a slightly parental tone with me. Iv realised this is at least partly because I unconsciously take an implicitly child-type tone. I suspect I have Dedendent PD... So while I used to think many of my friends were on power trips, and still think one did sort of exploit this, I now see how my own interaction style plays a part.