Couch 136: Transference Welcome!

I like chai too.

We could serve snacks. the @@una-melt boy you have got the straight man part down!

I like chai but not the sweet syrupy sort. I usually make my own blend with spices (I like mine rather peppery) and drink it unsweet or lightly sweet. For my taste, the milk already makes it sweetish enough usually.

I clean out one or two things each day. I should just get our friends to come stuff everything in boxes and be done with it. I am being overly sentimental and self indulgent with this whole situation.

But this is the time to be self-indulgent and take care of yourself.

I was for a couple of days. That should have been enough.
This excessive emotionalism just won't do.

Grieving for a few days just isn't enough... It takes as long as it takes. It's normal to miss person who was very close... Whether the ending was expected or not. You're human too

I would not call it excessive emotionalism, but taking painstaking care to be sure it gets done right.

That's true--if you don't grieve as much as you need now, and try to push it away, it will probably just come back to really hit you later at some random time.

It's OK to cope with grief in any way it helps you, I feel.

I don't think there's a timeframe. It's also true that some people prefer to focus on other things to cope.

Mourn in a way which doesn't harm your spirit? I may not make sense.

When my dad died I had to find a new normal

It's difficult when someone we are close to emotionally and in proximity essentially just disappears

I meant more that doing the disposal of the effects of the dead as slowly as one likes is not emotionalism but carefulness.

Ugh I sent T a ton of messages while crying over attachment to her and how ashamed I am of my attachment.

Bah so utterly humiliated about the work eff up today. Room full of VIPs and me visibly panicked and no idea what to do.

Hugs Quiet.

Oops, sorry about that. Yes, I agree with that.

i work with my least favorite manager tonight, who is also the main manager in the store... he never helps me out in the front end... leaves it up to me to figure out. problem with that is that now the lines are getting longer and people get frustrated b/c of this new loyalty card registration process. i get easily overwhelmed, angry, and stressed out... sometimes i just retreat into my little office because i feel like i'm gonna snap on someone.

i'm trying to stay positive, haha. one time i paged him to the front for help and he called me 'needy'.... i'll never do that again

If you can, try to see it as the customers are needy... in the sense that they need attention, and therefore need more staff to help manage their needs... just a thought. Good customer service to get more hands involved.

No, no - I didn't respond to the relevant post that would have made that clear.

Need to vent. I am so stressed by work right now i feel like I'm going to have a nervous breakdown. They are putting SO much pressure on us over this particular client I'm on the project team for. We have to take 3 tests a week about the client, they have a ton of rules for everything that are completely different than all of our other clients (read: super-special treatment) and the callers are mean and degrading to us and sooooo self-important and entitled. I just got off a really difficult one finally xfrd to another dept to better assist. I'm about ready to call my old pdoc to ask for a prescrip for xanax or something. Agggh!!!! I hate this project and it won't be over til june!!

))Stopdog((

Is that so bad? I know you have a certain image of yourself, but you may be softer and warmer than you think.

And as for self indulgent, why shouldn't you indulge yourself?

Why not? Who says so?
Our culture puts ridiculous limits on grieving. Give yourself all the time you need.

I told someone I know about going to my ex's flat and she said it sounded self-indulgent. She used that term pejoratively, but my response was that I am okay with being self-indulgent. If that's what it takes for me to grieve that's what I'll do.
Everyone is different and deals with things differently. I think people are usually pretty good at finding their own way to where they need to be.

Yes.
I am not.
Of course it is wrong.

"Why not? Who says so?"

Me. I say so. I don't care what anyone else would say.

My grocery chain just emailed me a coupon for a free tub of...Cool Whip. Expires at midnight.

Unfortunately I am already in jammies and watching baseball while petting a cat on my lap, and I am not getting changed to venture out into the chill under threatening skies. At least not for a petroleum-based "food"stuff.

I'm stopping for wine on the way home.

I am so not motivated to pack up the rest of my house even though I just have to throw my clothes in a suitcase and unplug the tv and shove papers in my desk drawer and tape it shut. I am also not looking forward to cleaning. I have bought all the cleaning supplies but only managed to clean the Windows on one side of the house. When we moved my ex used to organise me. The removalists come on Tuesday morning