Ex-T called me a b***h twice! Hurting. :(

I have so many regrets about all the time and money I wasted on therapy with my last T.

And current T still hasn't responded and I just found out my next session is on April 26th instead of the 17th.

I am in so much pain!!

I can't take it!

I hate my ex-T.

And I hate myself for thinking so highly of him when he treated me so lowly.

And called me a b***ch twice!

Did you contact him again or is this in the past?

Did this happen recently? I can only imagine how hurtful it is to be called that by someone you cared very much for.

I'm really sorry that you're in pain and things are so hard.
Your ex T sounds appalling. I can't imagine how that could happen that they could say such a thing - it should never ever happen.
I don't know if this is helpful, but I wonder whether you would consider looking for another T? I mean just to have a 2nd opinion, and to fill the gap until 26th April, maybe worth looking for one who specialises in the kind of things you need help with. Personally I would recommend one who does schema therapy.
Because then you can also discuss things with your current T when you meet on 26th April, and see who seems most able to help with your issues?
Just an idea but please ignore if it's not helpful! I'm sorry things are so hard. I hope you can take care of yourself.

Hope, did you contact him after the threat of the restraining order? Or was this something from the past?

I had to ask him a question about my medical chart because I needed it and I told him that he'd never hear from me again and he flipped out.

I recommend that if you ever need information from him again you obtain it through an appropriate third party. Otherwise you are continuing to cause yourself pain.

I think you could have called the office and asked reception to get the information for you. I may be off base here but this sounds like another excuse to contact your ex T. If this is not the case I do apologize, but it seems like you always find different reasons to contact him.

That being said, there is NO excuse for what he called you. But I'm trying to see things from his perspective and he is probably feeling frustrated beyond belief, so I can feel for him. Please do not contact him directly anymore. You are just hurting yourself by doing so.

I am so sorry he called you those names but please do yourself and your mental health a favor and don't contact this man for anything at all. Like EM said, maybe go through a third party.

He doesn't have a receptionist. He's the only one in his office.
I am absolutely devastated and hurt that he would call me that.

And I can't get ahold of my current T. Finally, I emailed him and told him that I was quitting therapy and asked him to cancel my appointment on the 26th.

Why would you do that? How does cancelling your appointment with your current T help the situation at all?

Your new psychiatrist is the one to contact him. Not you. (He probably shouldn't even be talking to you given his threat about a restraining order.)

Yes, if the man threatened a restraining order he should have not responded.

I am completely destabilized.

Is there an out of hours mental health line in your area that you can call?
Otherwise, how about going to ER? I think it would be a good idea to ask for help with how you are feeling.

I don't need an ER right now. I will be okay.

I agree that canceling your appointment on the 26th doesn't solve anything...can you reschedule it?

I can't even get in touch with my current T. It is beyond frustrating and I'm tired of it.

I'm going back on the therapist search. Ugh.

Then you send a brief business letter requesting your records or the physician that needs the records can make the request. There is no reason that you had to actually speak to your old T; every communication can be handled through your new doctors or through letter (and not a long, emotional letter; just a short, business-like letter with your specific request for records).

Why cancel with your new therapist before you have a replacement in place? Do you actually mean it this time? I ask not as a judgment, but because if you don't and you turn around and change your mind again, at some point, this new therapist may terminate over repeated cancellations. If you do mean it, okay, but it might would have been better to perhaps get a replacement in place first since you say you are not stable right now.

I'm having a thought and would like input. I hope nobody sees this as judgemental but I've been thinking: What if therapy is hurting you more than helping you, Hope? You seem to be very dependent on therapists and are forever searching for the "perfect" one. I wonder if a break from therapy may help you to learn to rely on yourself and healthy coping mechanisms. It's just a thought.

Contact with your ex-T is not going to help you. Don't keep hurting yourself by trying to find reasons to talk to him. When someone has gotten to the point of threatening to take out a restraining order, there is not much you can do to try to fix the relationship.

It sounds to me like you are trying to push away your new T because of your feeling of hurt and rejection from your old T, but when you've done this in the past (going by your old threads) it seems like you end up regretting it when you do that and end up wanting to reach out again.
I would suggest trying to get back in with your current T, and use your next appointment to talk about ideas on how you can respond to this kind of feeling of hurt and rejection in a way that doesn't make the pain worse.

I don't know a lot about the whole situation, but what I have seen in posts, I wonder about this as well. I have taken breaks from therapy, and it taught me what the major issues were that I needed to work on, so that I could get into the deeper stuff and not just gripe for an hour a week...

Hope, I think it would be good to talk to your therapist or a new one about why you feel the need to contact your former psychiatrist. You may first need to work on how to stop contacting him, because it is interfering with your life. I think cognitive behavioral therapy may help.

From your posts about him, he sounds unstable, unhealthy, uncouth, and troubled. He may be a psychiatrist, but from what you say about him, you don't know what he is capable of. For your mental health and even safety, I would first seek help on how to stop contacting this unstable individual to prevent yourself from getting into a major conflict with him.

Hope, I don't know how else to put it--this is an obsession. And I'm not sure how you break it. I don't think it would help for me to tell you to stop contacting him. You've got to redirect all that focus and energy elsewhere, some place you go every day and people to talk to every day as a way to ground yourself and minimize the big emotional swings. I'm not sure you are willing to do what it takes to break from that guy, but this is one way. Fill your days with other people and activities. A drop in center. Support groups. Free classes or workshops. Anything, really, that gives you a touchstone.