[Mouse_]

I'm lying on the sofa with an hour to go before I leave for T, and I was thinking about when the session comes to end, T always says "times up" and I always immediately jump up, like a soidier on parade.

Well I just thought I wonder what T would say if instead of jumping up I said "no I don't want to leave and if I refuse to get up what can you do about it?"

Then I visulised T saying "We;re talk about that next session"

[ECHOES]

... did you try it?

recently when discussing how to end the session so it didn't feel so abrupt, T asked for my thoughts about what we could do. I said, very thoughtfully, "Well, we could... never end!" . Caught her off guard and tickled her.

Could tell her that since last session you've decided that the concept of time is too conformist and trite and constricting and you no longer believe in it, sorry.

I always look at the clock first and say we,, it's 4.30 - before my t does, i sneakily look at my watch first. I hate when THEY say time's up, gives me a knot in my stomach for some reason.

Jin xxxx

[Mouse_]

I mentioned my this to T first thing in the room today. She just gave me one of her looks that I read as saying "dont' dare me kiddo" LOL...then she asked me why did I stand up so quickly? and I replied, "I think its because I dont like to take anything that I am not entitled too. Then that part of the session was over.
THE END LOL

I think I have a similar thing. When t says 'time up' I don't jump up, but I do fairly swiftly get up and leave. Part of it is about my not wanting to take up too much time / be annoying. He primes me for it now, though, so I know when we are winding down. He has this distinctive change in his voice that signals that we are in the wind-down and sometimes he will say '5 minutes' or '10 minutes' if it has been an intense session, I guess. Sometimes... I really don't want to leave. I wonder what he would do if I just kind of sat there or tried to keep him talking... Maybe... Maybe I do try and keep him talking a little bit already ;-)

My T always gives me one of those five minute warnings. In fact one time he didn't, and boy did it he hear about it next week, lol.

[sunrise]

My T is pretty relaxed about the time. I never look at the clock and let him manage all that. I let him wind the session down gracefully. He never says time is up or anything like that. I understand through his body language that things are winding down. If I don't get a clue, sometimes he stands up from the couch, or will walk over to his desk to get his appointment book. Meanwhile, sunny remains seated on the couch... We're both pretty loose about the time, and he always runs late, both with me and usually with whatever client comes before me.

I don't check the time either. I kind of leave him to figure out stuff like that. The ritual we have at the start (with respect to how we get from the waiting room to the therapy room). His helping / prompting me to get going. His keeping an eye on the time. His cueing me in with respect to when it is time for me to regain my composure and reorient back to what I need to do that day.

I guess I'm overly passive when it comes to those things... A therapist of a different orientation would question my motivation or my taking responsibility for my treatment, I guess. I'm lucky that he doesn't question any of that. I'm lucky that he is happy to do all that. In fact... Sometimes he really belabours it. Takes quite a while to explain that the heating might go off and that he hopes that I won't get too cold (concern). Or takes a while to apologise that we need to be in a different room today and that he really understands that it might be hard for me and that I might feel disorganised and find it hard to speak. I personally think that he belabours stuff like that when I really don't give a %#@&#! about them. I guess it is that he is trying to show me that he takes the holding environment seriously, though, and that he realises how important it is to me. To the extent that it is even more important to him than to me lol. I feel a bit awkward about that at times... But... I guess he is showing me he cares, huh...

Hmm. A thought... Maybe he is trying to show me that features of the holding environment aren't about him so much as about the environment aside from him. So when his presence is freaking me out I can feel a little bit held by those environmental features... Perhaps...

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sunrise said:
My T is pretty relaxed about the time. I never look at the clock and let him manage all that. I let him wind the session down gracefully. He never says time is up or anything like that. I understand through his body language that things are winding down. If I don't get a clue, sometimes he stands up from the couch, or will walk over to his desk to get his appointment book. Meanwhile, sunny remains seated on the couch... We're both pretty loose about the time, and he always runs late, both with me and usually with whatever client comes before me.

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Hey Sunrise,
My past T also ran late with me and with the following patient. At first, this exasperated me. But as I got to know her it didn't bother me as much. Sometimes, she would allow me to see her twice a week.
~Psychee

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Mouse_ said:
I'm lying on the sofa with an hour to go before I leave for T, and I was thinking about when the session comes to end, T always says "times up" and I always immediately jump up, like a soidier on parade.

Well I just thought I wonder what T would say if instead of jumping up I said "no I don't want to leave and if I refuse to get up what can you do about it?"

Then I visulised T saying "We;re talk about that next session"

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Oh my...I can just imagine the startled look on your T's face. LOL I had not looked before at the humorous side of therapy sessions.

[Rapunzel]

I've thought about bringing my sleeping bag and just never leaving. But I never question when she says it's time to go, even if we started late and it is a few minutes early. She is generous with her time. She gives me a 90 minute session, and doesn't charge extra. It used to be 2 hours, still for the same price as one. Yeah, she charges my insurance for an extended session, but my co-pay amount stays the same. And usually by time to end I'm tired of being in the hot seat anyway, and I don't have to face reality until I actually get home, which takes 2 1/2 hours, so I can deal with that.

[MissCharlotte]

Once I was having one of those oh so wonderful sessions and i did tell T I wasn't leaving. He said, "Fine I'll just tell the next guy to use the couch." I promised I wouldn't listen. LOL

On the issue of timing. My T almost always says it's time to stop. Once in a while I get the message through conversation, like "Are you okay to leave?" He never runs late, but occasionally lets the session run a little longer especially if I'm the last client of the day. There is no clock that I can see from my vantage point. It's facing T, so I'm not distracted by that. He almost never helps me start the session, but waits for me to get it going. (Sometimes a painful silence.) And at the end of the session he'll say, "So today's session was about blah blah blah," sort of summarizing it.

[dalila]

<font color="green">My therapist tries stay on time but she is pretty flexible and will say that when she needs to run over she will make it up to me and i can understand cos she will run over with me if i need it.

Often she will ask if I am in a good place to stop, and most times I just say yes. I think once I said no and she asked what I needed to get there.

Recently after a rougher session I told her I felt weepy and wished I could jsut sit there with her and cry for a while. She smiled at me and said i could do that and she would just do what she needed ot do while I sat there. she said it could be healing. I was so touched by the offer I couldn't take advantage of it. I rarely cry more than a couple of tears in session. She is really good at helping me get to that edge and moving me beyond it. I suppose it is hard to do much work when one is sobbing your eyes out.lol</font>

[Mouse_]

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sister said:
Once I was having one of those oh so wonderful sessions and i did tell T I wasn't leaving. He said, "Fine I'll just tell the next guy to use the couch." I promised I wouldn't listen. LOL


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LOL!

[Mouse_]

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[b][i]dalila said

Often she will ask if I am in a good place to stop, and most times I just say yes. I think once I said no and she asked what I needed to get there.


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I need to ask T about what she would do If I wasn't in a place to stop.

Mouse,
I also love contemplating thoughts like this My T usually gives me a 5 minute warning. I have no idea what he would say if I refused to leave. LOL When my T and I were talking about my fear of termination and my fear of what I would do to not be "abandoned", he asked me what did I envision myself doing. I told him that I could see myself sitting in his office refusing to leave. He didn't comment on it, just wrote it down. Now I am curious as to what he would do

One time I told my T I was staying for 17 hours. I told him that he could take breaks. He asked me if he would be allowed to take his own breaks or if I would let him know when it would be okay to get up, lol.