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  #26  
Old May 13, 2017, 10:53 PM
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healed84 healed84 is offline
Young Butterfly
 
Member Since: Jan 2012
Posts: 7,574
T discloses a fair amount.. but it has gradually increased over the last 5 years.. All that he shares always relates back to something we are discussing in therapy though.
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  #27  
Old May 13, 2017, 11:39 PM
Anonymous47147
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My t is not secretive.she tells me things.
  #28  
Old May 14, 2017, 12:40 AM
feileacan feileacan is offline
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Member Since: Sep 2016
Location: Europa
Posts: 1,169
I think I wouldn't tolerate a T who would casually tell me things, I would feel violated. I must say that I generally don't understand the concept of bonding over small things. I guess it is because I just don't bond with people at all.

Over the four years I've seen him he has actually answered quite a few questions, but only when he figures that it's somehow in my benefit. Recently, he answered the question about what he was planning to do over a long weekend and what he is doing together with his children. However, from my side, these questions were not (are my questions never are) raised out of curiosity, I don't experience curiosity to the person he is, I feel I couldn't care less. If I dig out information about him (and I've googled him extensively) or ask questions then it is always because I want to establish that he is a safe person.

Sometimes I ask to test him whether he understands when he should answer a question and when not. Sometimes he has failed that test, answering a question when he shouldn't, meaning, that he imagined that there is more connection between us than there really was.
  #29  
Old May 14, 2017, 06:01 AM
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captgut captgut is offline
Grand Poohbah
 
Member Since: Jan 2017
Location: Here
Posts: 1,731
I don't ask him anything (because I'm afraid to break boundaries), but I can't call him very secretive.
  #30  
Old May 14, 2017, 10:55 AM
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unaluna unaluna is online now
Elder Harridan x-hankster
 
Member Since: Jun 2011
Location: Milan/Michigan
Posts: 42,226
Quote:
Originally Posted by ruh roh View Post
I take up all the airtime on myself, so I'm not sure if the lack of intel on my therapist is due to secrecy or the fact that my therapy is about me.
Yeah, after ten years, im like, im done talking about me, now YOU talk about me he actually has some good questions about how i use or view food. Ive asked him about his own food issues and i cant really relate, he seems pretty normal, even from childhood.
Thanks for this!
ruh roh
  #31  
Old May 16, 2017, 06:04 AM
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notthisagain notthisagain is offline
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Member Since: Apr 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 211
If anything, I think that my T overshares. I hope that I do not sound like a jerk, but I am not there to make friends or hear about where she went on vacation or what she bought. It adds nothing to the therapy session and just takes up time where I can be getting help. My pdoc doesn't share anything about himself and it doesn't bother me one bit.
Thanks for this!
BonnieJean
  #32  
Old May 16, 2017, 01:15 PM
laxer12 laxer12 is offline
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Member Since: Mar 2015
Location: US
Posts: 533
I don't really ask my T much but I'm sure she would give me an honest answer to most things without disclosing her life story. She has told me she has two kids and is very open about that (told my mom when she came to one of my sessions) but other than stating that they exist, she doesn't say anything about them.

I'm actually thinking about asking her why she decided to become a T. I don't want her to give me a generic answer like "I wanted to help people" though...
  #33  
Old May 16, 2017, 02:13 PM
Waterbear Waterbear is offline
Magnate
 
Member Since: Feb 2016
Location: England
Posts: 2,431
T told me today she wanted to be a Flamenco Dancer! Haha, she made me giggle.
Thanks for this!
unaluna
  #34  
Old May 16, 2017, 09:08 PM
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nottrustin nottrustin is offline
Grand Magnate
 
Member Since: Jan 2014
Location: n/a
Posts: 4,823
Over they years I have learned a lot about T. Usually it is because she has a life experience that fits with our discussion. I did my use to ask questions for fear of asking something she didn't want to answer. At this point I realize she will answer whatever I ask. So occasionally I do.. Somethings she tells me because we live in a small commilunity. She knows I would be likely to run into her or see her
She told.me when she had a boydeiems it it was starting to be serious..he loves out of state and don't want me to worry she would move..i had already put 2 and 2 together and figures out she as seeing someone. 2 years later she moves in with h
.
Favorite color she didn't have to tell me. I toured her house it was obvious as every room has furniture and decorations that one color.
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  #35  
Old May 22, 2017, 07:48 PM
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alli_kathrine alli_kathrine is offline
Member
 
Member Since: May 2016
Location: pennsylvania
Posts: 56
Quote:
Originally Posted by bluebicycle View Post
My working theory that my current therapist is a robot. Like an R2D2 kind of robot. Maybe RTDT because she's a T.

RTDT won't even tell me her favorite color... I like blue and pink, and I want to know if RTDT likes those colors. And she doesn't even show emotional reaction when I say things!

She is definitely RTDT

I'm not trying to be some psycho stalker creep who climbs up the side of her house in the middle of the night and opens the window. "I KNOW WHERE YOU SLEEP."

My other T's told me basic things like, "Oh, yeah... I live in __ town and I like to do XYZ." So I'm not looking for anyone's life story. I just want to know her interests and see if she can relate on some topics. It's not a "must have" sort of deal... just a "nice to have".
my T has been very open with me about basic things, books, movies, music he likes, and some "lesser" more personal things I know his wife's name, he has two girls and their names, I know he has two brothers, things like that...

He's always answered all my questions, but I still always start out by saying that I'll understand if he doesn't want to answer me, but I was wondering...

we established early on that; the only things he won't get into are politics and religion, he's always willing to listen help me figure out anything I question in those areas, but he won't bring his personal belies into therapy..
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