[rainbow8]

I'm wondering how many have attachment issues. If you do, is there a specific way you have worked on them in your therapy? This is my first poll though I've been posting for years. I don't know why but I'm nervous about doing it.

[ShashaCruz]

i lack ability to give genuine affection to others. My T tries group admission sessions to break me away from this problem but unsuccessful so far

[velcro003]

I put other, because I know that my attachment is avoidant/anxious, and my T knows too--but we just don't frame therapy in an attachment way, so it is never obviously "worked on."

[Elio]

I believe I have attachment issues. Not sure what T thinks as it is not her way to say. I have been working through them by trying to unstick the emotional growth via experiential learning. I figure, I was pretty nonverbal or at least not able to comprehend and communicate what was going on for me or didn't have someone to help process through the feelings when they were happening so things got miss-wired or just stuck. If I am able to unstick by having experiences that replace or actually happen that speak to those developmental stages, maybe I can emotionally grow up. That's my hypothesis - thus all the kid stuff for me.

[lucozader]

Oh, absolutely I do. I didn't know that I did before I fell in love with my T though.

I suppose we're working on it?

[stopdog]

It is not an issue for me. The therapist used to chatter on about me needing to bond/being avoidant = but I don't think I am and if I were - I see no reason to change it. It does not bother me if I am.

[rainbow8]

Originally Posted by stopdog

It is not an issue for me. The therapist used to chatter on about me needing to bond/being avoidant = but I don't think I am and if I were - I see no reason to change it. It does not bother me if I am.

I admire you, stopdog.

[SoConfused623]

I had attachment issues with my blank-slate T and we talked about how I couldn't stop thinking about her but we never really worked on it. I still think about her a lot but have been with a new T for about 6 weeks so am thinking of her less and less, luckily! I so hope that I don't get attached to my new T...so far so good!

[rainboots87]

Definitely and it really bothers me, but my T seems unphased by it. Same with my last T. I'm trying to work on it, but it's tough.

[BayBrony]

Yes. It's a main focus of my therapy

[kecanoe]

I do have attachment issues; I am working on it from a couple of different angles. T1 is just going to have to be there for me until it gets better. He is sure it will. He uses IFS. It has actually gotten better, but I think that is more due to brain spotting with T3. Tried SE, tried EMDR. Brain spotting seems best for me.

Yes but I never used therapy to "work" on them beyond just observing it manifest. My Ts did mention it. I much prefer to address these things and try to improve in everyday relationships, different kinds. I am also not overly concerned about my attachment style, usually some other people are more puzzled or bothered by it.

[rainbow8]

For anyone: Can you be attached to your T without having "attachment" issues or do they always go together? What do you think?

Originally Posted by rainbow8

For anyone: Can you be attached to your T without having "attachment" issues or do they always go together? What do you think?

I think yes. People who have mostly healthy/secure attachment mechanisms do get attached to other people in all sorts of relationships, don't see why Ts should be an exception. Perhaps not obsessed though.

[BayBrony]

Originally Posted by rainbow8

For anyone: Can you be attached to your T without having "attachment" issues or do they always go together? What do you think?

What I am learning as my attachment issues heal is that the attachment, love etc are completely normal. In fact it would be pretty strange for people to work together as long as my T and i have without mutual affection forming.

The "issues" parr are the fear, the insecurity, the anxiety about rejection etc.

People with healthy attachment are just attached. They form bonds with people and trust those bonds will be there. Whereas for me, I was always afraid that people's feelings about me were in flux. Every relationship felt like a crisis, all the time....

NOW I know my T loves me. I don't have to worry about whether she still loves me or will keep loving me or is about to reject me ...because healthy love and attachment is not always changing and chaotic...i can just relax.

[laxer12]

Yes. I definitely have attachment issues and my T is fully aware. We have worked on it before using EMDR and talking about people I have felt attached to throughout my life.

I've had attachment issues my whole life and when I first learned about attachment in a high school psych class, my relationships with a few people in my life finally made sense. I never needed a T to tell me I had attachment issues or for the T relationship to bring them up but that relationship has both helped and hurt my struggle with it. Losing two T's within 1.5 months of each other was devastating and my current T has helped me work through it.

Originally Posted by rainbow8

For anyone: Can you be attached to your T without having "attachment" issues or do they always go together? What do you think?

I've always been attached to my therapists, but I don't attachment issues. I think that's basically a secure attachment. Essentially, I am quite close to my therapist without attachment even being an issue/topic of discussion.

I think attachment around here gets discussed as a problem so much of the time, but the reality is that I suspect most of the world is able to attach healthily to other people without fear of abandonment, fear of judgment, fear in general. It is just called relationship, and it is a positive in life.

[junkDNA]

ummmm yep

[ScarletPimpernel]

Yes. We are working on it by spacing out our sessions. It's really difficult.

[InnerPeace111]

I voted no. I don't believe I have attachment issues. My therapist has never said anything to me about this. My therapy, though, is more focused on things like spirituality, Buddhism, meditation, mindfulness, relaxation techniques, and developing a strong and solid self-care routine for myself.

ETA: I believe I have a positive and healthy attachment to my T. I am grateful for it.

[ruh roh]

It hasn't come up. I don't connect to people very easily, but it's not talked about in any of the terms I read about here. I have more urgent things right now anyway, like my effing family that goes from one crisis to another with different ones of them, like a clown car that keeps pouring out dysfunction and chaos. Sorry...bad day with them today.

[Depletion]

Originally Posted by rainbow8

For anyone: Can you be attached to your T without having "attachment" issues or do they always go together? What do you think?

Rainbow, I have attachment issues. They are for sure one of the main things that I am in therapy for. We work on my attachment issues by discussing the therapy relationship. This is basically what goes on in all object relations therapy. I'll actually probably be working on them tomorrow when we talk more about why I feel put off by my therapist's "empathy face." The whole point will be for me to learn to trust her when she makes that face (and with other things too.) When I can actually feel comfortable, and receive the care that she gives without worrying that there will be some kind of repercussion I will be securely attached. The whole point is to get attached and to trust the attachment. The idea is that doing that in therapy will help you do that elsewhere.

Are you afraid that you can't get attached to your therapist without it becoming a problem?

[MessyD]

I was wondering, how do you all know that you have attachment issues? Is that something you figured out in therapy or something that you already and now you're working on it in therapy? It never came up in my therapy but I have been wondering and I did online test with the result of anxious avoidant style which kind of fits but doesn't all match my history and childhood so it's really confusing. I am little attached to my therapist (ok, a little more than I like to admit) and I do worry a lot about him quitting on me or leaving and I can have a hard time with longer breaks but it doesn't really drive me crazy and I think I can be ok. Not sure if I should worry about this or not

[annielovesbacon]

I put "I'm not sure." I had big attachment issues with my former T -- I would google her obsessively, daydream about being her best friend, write her letters that I never sent her, etc. I knew it was a problem, but I didn't know how to bring it up.
It wasn't until I came to PC (about one month before terminating with that T) that I realized that attachments like this are normal. Now that I know that and know how to work around it, I definitely am not as attached to my current T. But, I do go through periods where I google her because I feel a desperation to be close with her. But those moments are fleeting. For the most part, I think we have a normal relationship, a secure attachment I guess.

[TrailRunner14]

Yes!! It's seems that that's a major part of me being able to have real relationships with friends and having a friend with respectable boundaries.

As far as attachment issues go, I'm a screwed up mess.