The Couch 147: Maximum Break!

There's a kosher/Israeli place down the street that imports their pita dough directly from Israel, the fluffy Palestinian style ones, not the flat cardboardy crap you usually see. They bake them fresh at the shop and then they get immediately frozen...they sell them in stacks of a dozen for $3.99... char them up a bit directly on my burner, oh my god, they puff up like little rugby balls. The best. Not helpful for diet or carbon footprint.

Congrats JD!!! You were obviously miserable at Wal-mart, so good you could find something better.

Congrats jdna, well done

Way to go, JD!

Woo hoo!!

Well I've really messed things up w t. She hates me now. Wants to know am I in or out. And said she needs to talk to me about scheduling. I feel like I'm in trouble. I think I'm going to tell her I'm out. And now, not November. I can't do anything right. Ugh.

It seems to me, that if you pick at the scab and it still bleeds, you should leave it alone. When the scab falls off by itself and you dont even notice - then the wound is healed.

You gotta admit, i have been amazingly reserved (esp for me! ) up til just now. And now i will return to my reservation. Om and

Una, I just noticed if you changed your username to tuna-moona it would still be a number and the moon

Stay tuned/twoned for my next life-changing observation

I'm feeling really depressed, and yesterday as well. I wish I had therapy like now... but its not until wed.

How do you guys get through the tough times off session? I'm struggling so much with this right now.

I've journaled a bit but it isn't helping.

Or we could switch it up and do solo-sole? ��

I'll give you some tips that I can't follow myself- staying busy and- this is key- out of bed- is very helpful for me. Ideally if I'm wanting downtime akin to a nap I'll find a quiet cafe or take a walk instead so that I can't lie down and get lost in the misery. If there's an element of separation anxiety, M has given me a few things I can carry to remind me that we're still connected, and I have nothing from L but I do have her picture. It cheers me up a bit. Worst case, I ask someone to call and check on me to make sure I am safe-- "if I don't answer and don't call back within half an hour, call the police"

I never was able to leave scabs alone... I am crying inside.

Art - let me get this straight:

1. You guys start termination. Eta, November. She has not seemed on board with the idea in the past. You're going every 3-4 weeks.
2. There's a bad session, you're angry and she's pretty insulting, later claiming she was hurt.
2a. You call her and ask if you guys are fixable. She says she doesn't know.
3. You end up going back for two sessions on a weekly basis. The antithesis of the termination plan.
3a. You blame yourself for hurting her, which she told you happened, and enter a shame spiral.
4. Then she says, she needs a break. Not clear whether it's from her job or your relationship. And this makes you want her more. At the end of the break you'll be only two months/sessions from termination.
5. Now she wants to know if you're in or out? (In response to an email? She just calls you? Not sure.)

To me this screams danger, Will Robinson, danger. You're feeling like Ms. Needy Pants because she is providing you with no stable base upon which to terminate your relationship. This is why 3 offered to do it over again with me, because she hadn't really done that the first time and then Smaug happened. And now it is a stable base and a decent ending and I feel like I can move on (from her if not 2 and Smaug). Though with sadness.

I don't say your therapist is doing this deliberately, but she is, to adapt una's metaphor, making your original scab much, much bigger. At minimum something is going on with her.

I don't know what you should do, because either path will bring you pain. But I'd really think what you would do if this were a friendship/romantic relationship, or if you were advising a friend.

I'm afraid to sleep again. It's 3 a.m :/

I'm sure she doesn't hate you. I'm confused as to how it went from the cyberhugs yesterday to you feeling this way. From being kinda warm and fuzzy to what sounds like an ultimatum. What sorts of things did you say to her via e-mail, and what exactly did she say in response? (I mean, not expecting you to quote verbatim, but I assume it was more than just "are you in or out?"

Olga's is still around? OMG, I was always at the one in the mall. *drools*

I emailed something like an idiot.

How is that being an idiot? Your emails have been welcome before. It doesn't give her the right to demand if you're in or out. (I kind of think that question's more apt for her anyway.)

I would like to like this multiple times.

Hugs to you, Art.

Sandwich eating approach depends on its contents.

Ex:

pb&j has to be cut straight across. First bite right in the middle. Full on. Works best if there is real jelly involved.

other sandwiches: cut diagonal, right corner, ride side mouth.

I am with you 100% on all sandwiches cut on the diagonal with the strict exception of pb&j

today, my therapist asked if I wanted a break—I think, from therapy, but I was to tired to participate in that kind of discussion so she suggested sleeping for a bit and for whatever reason, that sounded really good, so it turned into me spending most of the session lying sideways on pillows in a semi sleep state with moments of napping between talking about places to live. I don't know why, but I think it has been one of my best sessions. I feel strangely better.

Okay, person who doesn't like her sandwiches cut at all here - why is pbj different?

Aww...that sounds lovely.

Before I ended up in this twilight zone of trust issues with current T, I sometimes fantasized about just sleeping through my session (and have her be somewhere within earshot) -- I was sleeping really badly then and was constantly exhausted. It was a trifle weird coz it's almost impossible for me to sleep with someone else nearby usually.