The Couch 147: Maximum Break!

He looks so happy...you're raising him right, jDNA. <3 <3

My phone background

Hahaha

#obsessed

Oh and I deep cleaned my living room

Awesome background JDNA!

Boby

(I can probably bury this on the couch)
Yesterday I said to my T that sometimes I wonder if I can go on like this, loving someone who doesn't love me.
T said that's a hard question for a therapist to answer.
I said I didn't ask you a question.
He said yes you did.
Then he said "of course I feel love for you. You've opened so much of yourself to me, and I've opened my heart to that. I've opened my heart to you."
I've felt a little dazed ever since. Not quite sure how to process it. I think I already felt it, but I never thought I'd hear him say it.

I'm going to have my bow rehaired todayyyy

I don't think that'll mean anything to anybody here but I am ULTRA PUMPED

I haven't had it done in a year. Usually I need it done every three months sooooo yeah things are ugly.

Back on January 1st 2016 I gave up all desserts, breakfast pastries, candy and ice cream... The thing that I miss the most are the Dairy Queen Blizzards! So enjoy the Blizzard, if you get one!

He is the master of his domain!

I just ate an entire pie.

runcible i didn't quote cuz you said you were burying it on the couch but i think i get it

A fresh bow is an exciting thing!!

i just finally let it sink in that my relationship with t is a real relationship (even though it's got parameters on it that other relationships don't) and it took me hurting her like i did and almost destroying it for me to realize that. i have steadfastly for the past almost 6 years referred to the world outside her door as the real world and she always says this is the real world in here too but i never believed it. i'm still processing how much I hurt her and trying to forgive myself but it hurts a lot that i could have been so hurtful to someone who has become so important to me. and i love you all but please i'm not looking for any comments from anyone to that, i just wanted to say it.

ETA and thank you so much unaluna for helping me get to this. you said something like "you're having a real relationship" in response to one of my posts i forget which one but that just really went right to my heart. you're right. i am having a real relationship with t, probably the "realest" of my entire life if you look at it in terms of how much of myself I hide from everyone including h, my son, my mother/siblings etc, friends, everyone. even here as much as i share here, i'm still hiding a lot. hiding behind a fake name besides. i can't hide from t. not anymore. i used to and did for a long time but not anymore.

Done that
Ur not alone

@Demunie....what flavor

well that was heavy enough for a saturday morning. in lighter news. i was talking with h last night about the answers i gave in my interview yesterday and he said he thinks they were good answers, that they sounded like they came from me, not like i was trying to spout only what i thought they wanted to hear. that was high praise from him. i'm hoping he's right. it was a behavioral interview, they asked questions like "Describe a time when you went above and beyond in your job" and "Describe a situation where you had to switch gears on the job" and stuff like that. They said they expect to make a decision in about 3 weeks. Ugh, I hate that they are so slow.

I like cherry the most. And I mostly like the crust. Total carb addict here

omg i would die, ha i need my desserts.

blizzards are the best but i dont eat them during winter.

My sister makes the BEST apple pie I've ever tasted. She won't share her recipe though haha. I do have my grandma's chocolate pie recipe, and that is awesome.

I think I shall make a pie today.

Seconding apple pie

But cherry was my favorite when I was little

Oh god pie

I've had people hug me after they've eaten my apple pie. It's a pretty special recipe.

And ((Art))

I just saw T in the grocery store

Omg so weird and embarrassing I'm sure my face turned red

His wife saw me first and smiled and looked at T. Then he turned around and smiled and waved. I mouthed hello and high tailed it out of that aisle!!!!!!

Wwweeeiiirrrdddddnnneeesssss

I thought I saw R in the supermarket once. Was weird for a second, and then it faded. Thought I saw P at an art event, and that mucked me up for a good while...

I was just eating way too much sugar and was completely over doing it and one day I said, " enough is enough!" And, honestly I really haven't missed it and it's amazing how your taste buds change!