My therapist has been on vacation for the last month, so conversations about my therapy with my people have been very limited. Why discuss it? There's nothing new to add to the conversation.

But tonight I was making plans with my husband for Saturday, and I mentioned leaving to go out after noonish. He asked why, and I said it was because I have an appointment with T. His response was a bored "oh." Granted, he was multitasking, so I was probably reading into his response too much.

This got me thinking about how my husband feels about my treatment in therapy, and how that's morphed over time. So let's talk about our people and therapy. When I say people, I think about close relationships. Partners, children, parents, friends, etc.

Who knows you're in therapy?
How did they feel about you starting therapy?
Do they still feel that way now or have things changed?
Is there anyone really close to you that doesn't know you're in therapy or that you don't discuss it with?
How much do you discuss your treatment with your people?
And anything else pertinent.

[waterlogged]

A lot of people know I'm in therapy. Only a few know that I'm in high frequency psychoanalysis.

My main people were glad I started. My BFF has always been supportive. My husband picked up on my resistance/skepticism for a long time and it seemed like he thought the whole thing was weird. But as I've changed and grown, he's gotten way more supportive of the whole endeavor. Even when it seems like things are temporarily worse.

My parents don't know I see a therapist. That's mostly problematic because they don't get why/how I'm changing and why our relationship is different.

I talk about my sessions with my people when I have a big insight, or during a rupture, or when I've figured something out of relational importance.

[precaryous]

My daughter knows I'm in therapy. She is mostly understanding.

My brothers may not directly know since they don't live near me but it's not a secret. I have mentioned I am in therapy to two close friends..one is accepting/understanding. The other doesn't talk against it but believes G-d is the answer. Perhaps she thinks I'm not G-dly enough. I don't know. I try not to discuss religion with her.

I've mentioned it to the pastor and I get a stand offish feeling from him. He probably thinks I'm not G-dly enough, either.

[ElectricManatee]

My partner is supportive of me being in therapy and sees how much it helps me. She never complains about the time or money it takes. I usually talk about the specifics of things I discuss in my session with her because she cares how I feel and also because sometimes the things I talk about relate to her or our relationship. She has even attended sessions with me twice. (My T seems to like her to a degree that almost makes me roll my eyes a little.)

I think a lot of my friends know I'm in therapy because it has come up one way or another. I will reference something my T said if it's relevant to the conversation, although sometimes I'm self-conscious about doing it. My friends range from actively supportive to not really commenting on it either way.

I'm not close enough to my family to share much of anything about therapy with them. My sister-in-law knows I'm in therapy, and even asked me to help her find a therapist of her own.

[anais_anais]

My people- just friends and close colleagues I guess, those are the only people I have- they are understanding, some of them are interested in what goes on in session and we converse at length about each others' sessions, others not. Just about every classical musician is in therapy or has been at some point. All my friends are musicians. No one is surprised or unsupportive.

My biological people- I hope this is not triggering. They think I am pathetic and sick. I started needing a pdoc at age 12 and my mother was so embarrassed. Every time she took me to an appointment, she would go on at length about what excuse to use if we ran into anyone we knew. She was terrified her friends and relatives would find out. She kept it a secret from my father and my siblings. She knows I see someone now, and the last we spoke of it, she said she hoped thy would help me "find peace" whatever that means.

[healinginprogress]

I talk about my therapy with my brother and few close friends. Some acquaintances know I'm in therapy, too, but they don't know specifics, and I don't really talk about it.

My MIL knows I'm in therapy but my parents don't. My partner knows because he's also in therapy.

Because of my issues, I'm picky about how knows and who I talk about it with (which is why my parents will never know). I need people to be supportive, or I need to not care about their opinions at all. I am more open though now, because I've been in it for a while and I can see that I've made amazing strides.

I really only talk specifics about my treatment with one or two people since it's a very vulnerable topic. But, I'll talk about my general thoughts and feelings about therapy with almost all of the people who know.

[stopdog]

Only 2 people ever knew I have seen a therapist and one of those 2 is now dead.
I don't really discuss therapy or the therapist (s) with anyone. There is not any reason to do so for me. Plus, in my real life, I think it is boring to hear people talk about the therapist they have hired.

[MrsDuckL]

I'm incredibly selective about who I tell that I'm in therapy. The list is my husband, my closest friend + one not as close friend but who is a therapist herself and is the one who was super encouraging in me even getting help the first place. I'm lucky my husband is supportive, he's had his own struggles with mental health before but treats his with medication. (Nothing wrong with that!) The two friends are encouraging as well. I keep therapy a secret from everyone else, which has occasionally led to some cover ups, like when my husband was working and I needed my inlaws to pick up our son from school so I could go to therapy appointment. (I told them I had to work late.) I'm in therapy partially because of my inlaws (well, ok, my own issues that I see projected onto the family), so I really don't want to go there with them. From everyone else, not 100% sure why I keep it a secret, other than I'm a private person and I'm just now telling the story of my abusive childhood, which I've never really told anyone, including my husband of 12 years.

I don't really discuss the details of therapy with anyone--my husband gets some highlights, maybe an interesting point my therapist made, but that's it. I treasure my therapy time too much to share a lot with others--to me a good therapist/ client relationship is such a private, treasured relationship that I like to keep all the details to myself when it's going well like it is now. I always take notes when I leave each therapy appointment, but those go in my journal, which only I read.

[MessyD]

Only people I know that I'm in therapy is my husband and my 2 friends. I don't really like to talk about it that much. It was my husbands idea to get me going there and at first I refused but very slowly agreed that I might need help and have been going on 2 years now. I think he likes it as he feels I've changed in some way but I have a feeling he's beginning to be little uncomfortable with me going for that long. My 2 friends are supportive but they don't live near me and I don't talk to them that much and I really prefer not to talk about therapy much. I feel like people who have never tried it wouldn't understand all the therapy stuff. My family doesn't know and i don't have a reason to tell them. I'm pretty sure my parents would freak out wondering what's wrong with me. I know my brother would be understanding but he lives very far from me and I hardly I ever talk to him. I don't get too personal with my coworkers but that's me.

[Demunie]

My BF is the only person knowing that I'm in therapy. We don't talk about it much. It sometimes comes up in arguments; his opinion is that T isn't helping me at all as I still have the same problems (esp. with touch etc.) as I had in the beginning.
Friends and Family don't know. If I have to leave for an appointment I usually lie...

[Amyjay]

Nobody knows I am in therapy.

[captgut]

A lot of people know. When i meet someone (about once a year lol), one of the first questions always is "How is your therapy?". But i don't really like talking about it. After having in any way unusual session (exciting...or disappointing..or strange) i post here and sometimes text my friend. That's all.

I tried to tell my parents... But they said: "That's a waste of money! So stupid! You don't need it. You have to stop it".
So yeah, i started lying. "I'm going for a walk"

[Watercolor]

Good topic! No one knows I'm in therapy. Not my partner, my friends or my coworkers. I don't think my husband would care, but I'd probably be fired if my job knew.

[atisketatasket]

One good friend and my siblings know. Future ex knew (he urged it in fact, though that was more part of his campaign to convince me I was the problem). My mother knew I was seeing 3, but she doesn't know about any of the others.

I don't really discuss what happens in therapy with any of them, I just use PC to vent if I have to.

[ChickenNoodleSoup]

Most of my friends either know or they get told randomly when I mention something about it. But I only really discuss content of sessions with one friend plus with my boyfriend occasionally.

My parents know I am going to therapy. My dad forgets that I even go though, and my mom thinks the only reason to go is to "blame her for my issues". So I try not to talk about it around them.

[LostOnTheTrail]

My mother knows, and a couple of close friends. I rarely discuss specifics with my mum...because she has a tendency to react rather than respond.

When I started therapy, my mother recognised the need. Now I am feeling a certain amount of pressure for it to be over and done with. After previous experiences, I don't think I would find it easy to trust a therapist who offered their opinion of how things are going unsolicited.

Close Friend 1 always asks how things are going, reassures me that it's OK for me to be where I am in the process.

Close Friend 2 doesn't know as much, and so doesn't ask.

I loved reading everyone's replies so far! It's interesting how similar most responses are so far. A few people know, but you don't really talk about details, etc.

I figured I should answer my own questions. My husband knows obviously, my stepmother and my dad know, maybe a couple of close friends, and a couple of my colleagues that I'm close to.

No one that knows I'm in therapy hasn't been supportive. My husband had been trying for years to get me to back to therapy, and was very glad I did at first. Now his interest ebbs and flows. I'll usually discuss at length with him what we discuss, and sometimes he cares, sometimes he doesn't. I also talk to my stepmother about T. She's glad I'm seeing a therapist who's person-centered. "His modality is really well suited to address your needs." I guess this is what I get for having a psychologist mother.

Like some of you, I have people in my family of origin who don't know I'm in therapy. I can't have a conversation with my biological mother about the weather without getting triggered, so actual heavy things are off the table.

[skeksi]

Only my BFF knows. And I don't talk about it in depth with her. She's very accepting, though.

My family does not know. They do not even know about my struggles--I keep things very surfacey with them. They speak very critically about people who attend therapy. Which is too bad, because they could benefit from attending therapy of their own.

[lucozader]

It's interesting that you bring this up, because it's something I've been thinking about recently. I've been thinking about the fact that I'm becoming very attached to the friends I've made here, preferring to talk to them than my 'real life' friends, because you guys understand... Like no-one else does.

Pretty much all of my friends know that I'm in therapy and many of them also are themselves. My circle of acquaintances is generally open and understanding about mental health issues so there isn't a lot of stigma there. Having said that, only two of my real life friends know about the erotic transference and my complete obsession with my T. They are as understanding as they can be about it, but they don't really 'get it' y'know?

My family know I'm in therapy and are generally positive about it. I don't tell them any details. My mother has showed some interest in having therapy herself, which is interesting. My younger brother has been in therapy for a number of years now and I suspect he would understand my attachment, unfortunately I have no contact with him.

My partner... knows that I'm having therapy. He shows no interest whatsoever beyond that. Talking to T about this the other day, he asked how I felt about it. I said I felt relieved... But actually I realise now that there's some anger there, some resentment.

My partner's always been so paranoid, convinced that I'm going to cheat on him. And here I am in love with a man who I openly go and see for an hour every week, and he's got no f***ing idea. It's happening right in front of him. He doesn't care enough to find out.

In fairness, he knows I come back from therapy sad sometimes and he tries to look after me or give me space as appropriate. He is sweet about it.

It's all pretty tragic really.

Originally Posted by lucozader

It's interesting that you bring this up, because it's something I've been thinking about recently. I've been thinking about the fact that I'm becoming very attached to the friends I've made here, preferring to talk to them than my 'real life' friends, because you guys understand... Like no-one else does.

Having said that, pretty much all of my friends know that I'm in therapy and many of them also are themselves. My circle of acquaintances is generally open and understanding about mental health issues so there isn't a lot of stigma there. Having said that, only two of my real life friends know about the erotic transference and my complete obsession with my T. They are as understanding as they can be about it, but they don't really 'get it' y'know?

My family know I'm in therapy and are generally positive about it. I don't tell them any details. My mother has showed some interest in having therapy herself, which is interesting.

My partner... knows that I'm having therapy. He shows no interest whatsoever beyond that. Talking to T about this the other day, he asked how I felt about this. I said I felt relieved... But actually I realise now that there's some anger there, some resentment.

My partner's always been so paranoid, convinced that I'm going to cheat on him. And here I am in love with a man who I openly go and see for an hour every week, and he's got no f***ing idea. It's happening right in front of him. He doesn't care enough to find out.

In fairness, he knows I come back from therapy sad sometimes and he tries to look after me or give me space as appropriate. He is sweet about it.

It's all pretty tragic really.

I think it's really interesting that you bring up your erotic transference toward your T. My idealization toward my T is by far the most difficult thing about therapy to discuss with real world people. I have one friend and my stepmother that I've talked to about it, but not my husband. I know he wouldn't understand when I say I love RoboT. And I don't want to cause unnecessary problems in my marriage, since therapy has been helping a lot.

[toomanycats]

Who knows you're in therapy?
My best friend, my husband, my immediate family, a lot of my mom acquaintances but only in passing when they bring up their own struggles & I suggest therapy

How did they feel about you starting therapy?
my best friend and husband are also in therapy. My mom is a therapist, so she gets it. Pretty much everyone gets it.

Do they still feel that way now or have things changed?
Everyone was really worried about things with my ex-therapist. They are glad I'm seeing a new therapist.

Is there anyone really close to you that doesn't know you're in therapy or that you don't discuss it with?
I don't really discuss it in detail with anyone except my best friend and husband.

How much do you discuss your treatment with your people?
I have no idea really.

And anything else pertinent.

Originally Posted by daisydid

My therapist has been on vacation for the last month, so conversations about my therapy with my people have been very limited. Why discuss it? There's nothing new to add to the conversation.

But tonight I was making plans with my husband for Saturday, and I mentioned leaving to go out after noonish. He asked why, and I said it was because I have an appointment with T. His response was a bored "oh." Granted, he was multitasking, so I was probably reading into his response too much.

This got me thinking about how my husband feels about my treatment in therapy, and how that's morphed over time. So let's talk about our people and therapy. When I say people, I think about close relationships. Partners, children, parents, friends, etc.

Who knows you're in therapy?
How did they feel about you starting therapy?
Do they still feel that way now or have things changed?
Is there anyone really close to you that doesn't know you're in therapy or that you don't discuss it with?
How much do you discuss your treatment with your people?
And anything else pertinent.

At the start of therapy, only my bosses knew I was in therapy as they referred me. Gradually over time, I told my best friend (who is a counsellor) & then I told other close friends, then after a lot more time, I told some colleagues. My Boyfriend knows & all the people I've told have been really supportive & encouraging & still are. I don't discuss what we are working on with anyone & I don't discuss anything about my therapist either. Those two things are very personal between just me & my T. Everyone seems to understand that & they don't push me on it.

[DodgersMom]

Who knows you're in therapy? My family, my best friend, 2 online friends
How did they feel about you starting therapy? Fine with it
Do they still feel that way now or have things changed? I guess
Is there anyone really close to you that doesn't know you're in therapy or that you don't discuss it with? Nope.
How much do you discuss your treatment with your people? My best friend knows the most but still alot of what happens there is private.

[ScarletPimpernel]

Everyone in my small little circle knows I'm in therapy. My family knows because I started therapy when I was 13. Now, that doesn't mean they agree with it. My mom thinks I should just be able to talk to her and everything will be better. My fiance's mom knows. She's okay with it, and she herself has been in therapy for addiction. My fiance, of course, knows. He's okay with it now, but he wasn't originally. He didn't understand how a T could be helpful, and he thought that a T would persuade me to leave him (he was being abusive at the time). After sometime, he saw the changes and was better with it. Then he got jealous of the relationship I had with my T. He's good now.

I don't really discuss my treatment with anyone but my fiance. I always tell him what we talk about. The rest of the people don't need to know what is discussed.

[awkwardlyyours]

Who knows you're in therapy?
- Family: My brother (entirely coz I was trying to get him to go too).
- Others: Friends know -- I neither hide nor talk about it specifically. So, if it comes up naturally, I'll mention it.

How did they feel about you starting therapy?
- A lot of my (immigrant) friends teased me that I'd now turned properly "American" (stereotype of thinking a lot about oneself etc ). I basically ignored it (they're all with families / kids / strong support networks and so on).

Brother didn't have any comments about it (per usual).

Do they still feel that way now or have things changed?
- No one really has a strong opinion about my going to therapy. So, I guess it's really not relevant.

Is there anyone really close to you that doesn't know you're in therapy or that you don't discuss it with?
- Nope

How much do you discuss your treatment with your people?
- With one close friend, a fair bit because she's really seen me struggle with my family and is incredibly protective of me when they pull their usual crap. So, I'll sometimes tell her what I'm trying to do in therapy. With everyone else, not so much.