[JooneBug37]

I visited a therapist last week because I thought I had something like Sexual Sadism Disorder, and I wanted help with these feelings. However, when I told her about these feelings, she thought these were just intrusive thoughts. I'm only a young teenager, and I've had problems with intrusive thoughts before, so I understand why she thinks that, but I need help. Should I look for another therapist or try to explain the feeling better to my therapist?

[Argonautomobile]

What does your gut say? There's nothing wrong with trying a new T - there's nothing wrong with giving this one another shot, either. I didn't feel my T understood me at first - sometimes I still don't - but he seemed like a nice enough, non-judgemental person to talk to, so I stuck around and it has worked out fine.

I hope you find some relief.

[SilentMelodee]

I agree. If you don't feel comfortable with this therapist, or you truly disagree with what she says/believes...I would find another one. Perhaps one who lists sexual issues as part of their work. You can find info like that by looking for t's on the psychologytoday.com website. They will list their modalities and what they may specialize in.

[magicalprince]

Originally Posted by Adventurous

I visited a therapist last week because I thought I had something like Sexual Sadism Disorder, and I wanted help with these feelings. However, when I told her about these feelings, she thought these were just intrusive thoughts. I'm only a young teenager, and I've had problems with intrusive thoughts before, so I understand why she thinks that, but I need help. Should I look for another therapist or try to explain the feeling better to my therapist?

Have you considered telling her how her reaction affected you or made you feel?

Originally Posted by Adventurous

I visited a therapist last week because I thought I had something like Sexual Sadism Disorder, and I wanted help with these feelings. However, when I told her about these feelings, she thought these were just intrusive thoughts. I'm only a young teenager, and I've had problems with intrusive thoughts before, so I understand why she thinks that, but I need help. Should I look for another therapist or try to explain the feeling better to my therapist?

Well you could look for another therapist but there is a risk in that. The new therapist may not understand either. Do you understand these thoughts yourself? Perhaps exploring it with your therapist and telling her she didn't really understand you last session may help you to understand this misattunement. Perhaps you explained it really well but because of your history with intrusive thoughts she had an agenda or just jumped to conclusions. Do you feel comfortable with her? If so I would continue but have a talk with her and tell her you didn't feel she understood your last conversation.

[JooneBug37]

Like I said, I'm still a young teenger. Should I wait until I'm an adult to deal with this problem?

[Elio]

If it is bothering you, you should talk to someone about it regardless of your age. I don't know what level of a therapist you saw so I don't know how well they might understand your problem. You might want to seek someone that familiar in sex related issues/topics (BDSM for example) and is willing to work with someone of your age. You might find that to be difficult without involving your parents/guardians.

In terms of these being intrusive thoughts, I found this site interesting: https://ocdla.com/obsessionalocd

So to some degree, it does depend on where your concern is around your feelings. For many BDSM is an acceptable way of life and for others it is not. This is where the right therapist could help you explore your feelings and thoughts, perhaps figure out what they mean for you and your beliefs.

[JooneBug37]

But what if the therapists don't believe I have Sexual Sadism Disorder?

[Argonautomobile]

Originally Posted by Adventurous

But what if the therapists don't believe I have Sexual Sadism Disorder?

You should have - and will be able to find - a therapist who takes your concerns seriously; who you feel understands you. They may not always agree with a particular diagnosis, but you will find one who believes your concerns and can help.

Good luck with it

[JooneBug37]

I decided to talk to my therapist. If she really doesn't understand me, I'll find another one

[Argonautomobile]

I'm glad you made that decision. I hope things work out.

[emma4health]

Hey there, I had to look up what sexual sadism is as I have never heard of it. I thought I would let you know that I experience something similar, altough instead of it being someone else I am the victim.
I can understand how alone you must feel and I compliment you on your bravery to talk to someone about it, it can be quite hard finding someone who understands this way of thinking.

[JooneBug37]

Thanks. This feeling can make me feel weird and even worried sometimes.

[emma4health]

It can be a very scary feeling. For me if I try and control the fantasys or push them aside they get worse, dreaming is really bad because it's so Vivid and I really can't escape it.
I feel deranged and disgusting at times.
I've had trauma when I was little somethings I can remember somethings I can't, and only recently spoke to an emotional healer about one of the main issues, she explained to me that the situation wasn't me, and didn't judge me, it made me feel a little bit more comfortable with living with these fantasies and memories.
I'm still yet to talk to my psychologist about it, I'm 24 and even though I'm aware and I can live with these issues, I still feel I need a lot of work done to really let go.
I don't know if the fantasies will ever stop, but I try not to bring myself down too much when they occur.

[JooneBug37]

Originally Posted by SilentMelodee

I agree. If you don't feel comfortable with this therapist, or you truly disagree with what she says/believes...I would find another one. Perhaps one who lists sexual issues as part of their work. You can find info like that by looking for t's on the psychologytoday.com website. They will list their modalities and what they may specialize in.

I decided to find a therapist just in case this one doesn't work out. However when I look at the Psychology Today website to find a therapist, I can't figure out what issue Sexual Sadism would be.

[Argonautomobile]

Originally Posted by Adventurous

I decided to find a therapist just in case this one doesn't work out. However when I look at the Psychology Today website to find a therapist, I can't figure out what issue Sexual Sadism would be.

I think any that list "sexual issues" or "sexuality" would be a good bet.

[JooneBug37]

Trying to find a therapist so I can talk to someone and even get rid of this feeling (if thats possible).

[vander512]

You should Google kink friendly therapist. There is a directory of providers. I was able to find someone very helpful.

[kecanoe]

Perhaps the therapist you are seeing would treat the two disorders in a similar fashion; I think it would be worth asking how she would treat them both and then decide if you want to stick with her.

There is no reason for you to feel like you need to wait to address this-if it is bothering you now, definitely pursue help now.

[JooneBug37]

Is there any way to get rid of, or at least control this fetish. I know fetishes change, but I don't know if this will ever change.

[JooneBug37]

Is there any form of therapy that can help get rid of, change or control this fetish? I'm just not comfortable with this fetish.

[Argonautomobile]

I don't have personal experience with this, but I've read that getting rid of a fetish isn't usually the goal - rather, to have it not upset you/control your life. This is a great question for a prospective T.

[JooneBug37]

I have a lot of questions to ask my prospective T: Is it impossible to break a fetish?
Does having a BDSM fetish mean that I have to be involved in BDSM when I'm older?
etc.

[JooneBug37]

How common are therapists who can help with fetishes? Are they a common sight or are they rare?

[Argonautomobile]

I don't think there are many absolutes when it comes to human psychology. Seeking to "break" a fetish seems pretty aggressive, but I wouldn't think it impossible that one day such thoughts might change or go away.

I definitely don't think there are any "have to's" when it comes to one's sexuality. You can choose to act out some or all or none of your thoughts.

I think it's quite common - nearly universal - for therapists to treat sexual issues. I think their competence varies. Experts might be harder to come by, but they're out there in reasonable numbers.