[BayBrony]

So i found out last week that my T is going on an extended sabbatical.
I have known for a while that she has had some health issues and also family issues going on.
I know the health issues may be a relapse of Lyme disease or may be something else. She is having trouble focusing due to pain and severe fatigue and is afraid of developing complications. About 8 yrs ago she had her first bout of Lyme. She was a single mother at the time and worked until she developed a severe lung infection and had to go on disability for several months. She does not want that to happen again. Also they are not sure yet it is not something else and she has a lot of doctors appointments etc.

She is also having family issues which she has not elaborated on. I think one of her kids is having serious problems since she has commented on not sleeping due to her kids but she also has elderly family that loves close by so could be that too.

Right now she says she hopes to be back by Christmas but can not make promises until she knows for sure wgat is going on health wise. So there is no clear return date. My last appointment is next Friday.

It's obviously been tough news to absorb and i have had wuite a range of feelings. I understand because I have a chronic metabolic disease and ended up in the hospital from it several times. I get feeling awful and unable to attend to your life. But its very hard.

Today's session cleared a few things up. She finds electronic communication pretty draining so while I can text/email during sabbatical she may or may not reply depending on her own condition ( usually we text about every other day but this past week she was feeling poorly and dud not reply at all)
We ARE going to write real letters. We have both already gotten special stationery for the purpose. She finds writing real letters more centering plus she doesn't have to worry about alerts from a bunch of other people.

She said she does fully expect to return to work, but if she can not, she will not just disappear from my life. We will find a way to see each other ( my T and i have worked together intensely for 5 years now) . Which waa very reassuring.

Sometimes I feel full of love and understanding for her situation. Sometimes I am hurt, sometimes angry....i love her dearly, and want her to be well and happy again, so a big part of me just wants her to do whatever she needs to do to get to that place. But its hard.
I don't know if I need advice, I just needed to talk about it somewhere where people understand how hard the separation is.

[MobiusPsyche]

That sounds really difficult. It's okay to be mad at the situation.

[Mouse007]

My therapists have never been close to me. One moved away after a year of therapy and I missed her but its awful how health problems make people change their lives in one way or another. So its really nice that you get in touch with her. I have never experienced that before.

I'm sorry, BB. That sounds so very difficult.

[kecanoe]

Yeah. Sad, mad, understanding, hurt, scared all at the same time makes sense. It really is too bad. I feel bad for both of you.

[stopdog]

I am sorry to hear about this. I hope she recovers quickly and gets back as soon as possible.

[LonesomeTonight]

Hugs, BayBrony. That sounds really difficult, especially because she doesn't know how long the sabbatical will be. The writing letters sounds nice though!

[toomanycats]

(((Hugs))) That is a lot to deal with, but you sound like you are handling it amazingly well (even if you feel differently - someone once told me "you can be doing well without feeling well," and that's what I mean - I mean you're taking all the right steps). I hope you'll lean on us here when you need us. (((more hugs)))

[ElectricManatee]

I'm sorry you're going through this. I know how important your T is to you, and your reaction sounds totally understandable. I'm so glad that you'll still be able to exchange letters with each other. I hope that will be a meaningful way to maintain your connection. I also think having something to hold on to with your T's thoughts in her own handwriting will be soothing for you during your (hopefully brief) separation.

I hope she'll be well soon. You and her have such a close bond and are doing intense work together. I hope the letter writing helps and that she'll be back soon.

[Elio]

Hi ya Bay,

I am glad she was able to explain the texting stuff and you were able to find a way to stay in contact.

Wishing you well.

[satsuma]

This is really difficult news, BayBrony. I know you have a close relationship with your T.

Do you think she would recommend other Ts to you for the interim, and is that something you would want/need? Or are you going to try not going to therapy for however long she is away?

[BayBrony]

Originally Posted by satsuma

This is really difficult news, BayBrony. I know you have a close relationship with your T.

Do you think she would recommend other Ts to you for the interim, and is that something you would want/need? Or are you going to try not going to therapy for however long she is away?

Probably going to just not do therapy til she returns. It took a LONG time to build my alliance with my T. Unless she was going to be gone for a year or more I don't think I'd get far enough with a new T to make it worth the time and money.

We did talk about me dping some work with a colleague of hers who does something like EMDR but different ( name escapes me). It's not like long term therapy though, it's just a session or two to learn how to do the exercises .

We are going to write letters to each other, so hopefully I can process some stuff that way...

[Amyjay]

Oh, I understand how hard this must be for me. My t is going on maternity leave in a couple weeks. I don't know when she will return or if she will be able to see me when she does. I have met with the new t that old t thought would best support me but.... ugh. I am not feeling it.
The uncertainty about what will happen is hard. I am glad you will be able to write letters. That may be easier that electronic communication in some ways as you know it won't be possible to get an immediate response. best wishes to you.

Sorry to hear this that's a very long time with no real promise of when she will return. Did your t offer you a referral for when she is sick? Would you consider trying a new t. I know you have a very strong bond with this t but I think some extra support for you to even just have support to process it would be good.

[Amyjay]

Originally Posted by Amyjay

Oh, I understand how hard this must be for me. My t is going on maternity leave in a couple weeks.

Hmm an interesting freudian slip there! I am pretty separate from the distress my alters feel about our own impending termination. maybe i am trying to communicate with my selves?

[satsuma]

Originally Posted by BayBrony

Probably going to just not do therapy til she returns. It took a LONG time to build my alliance with my T. Unless she was going to be gone for a year or more I don't think I'd get far enough with a new T to make it worth the time and money.

We did talk about me dping some work with a colleague of hers who does something like EMDR but different ( name escapes me). It's not like long term therapy though, it's just a session or two to learn how to do the exercises .

We are going to write letters to each other, so hopefully I can process some stuff that way...

I hope it goes ok. Perhaps it will be an affirming thing if you cope well. That was my experience when I cut back on the frequency of my therapy. It's hard though when it's a situation like this that you and T didn't choose or foresee. Anyway I hope (and think) you will be fine.

[BayBrony]

Originally Posted by satsuma

I hope it goes ok. Perhaps it will be an affirming thing if you cope well. That was my experience when I cut back on the frequency of my therapy. It's hard though when it's a situation like this that you and T didn't choose or foresee. Anyway I hope (and think) you will be fine.

Yeah i didn't get much warning, she told me this a week and a half ago. I have another week of sessions. So 3 weeks to process it. I feel like 3 months would be more like what i' d need to prepare

[rainbow8]

Bay, I'm sorry your T has to take time off, and I hope she will be able to return when she is better. I know you and she have a wonderful relationship and that she will make every effort to stay in touch. Writing letters is great! I grew up with pen pals when it really meant pen, not emails! I'm sorry you don't have much time to process her leaving but your letter exchange can cover anything you missed.

I know it's not going to be easy. If this were happening with me and my T, I'm not sure if I would be coping so we'll. But the time WILL pass. Hugs.