[scorpiosis37]

My entire life has changed in the last 48 hours. My dad was admitted to the hospital on Friday night, and I've been sitting there with him for the last 3 days. He went from being fully independent to not being able to walk, bathroom, or feed himself in the span of 1 week. He now needs 24/7 assistance. I just moved across the country to be with him, and changed careers in order to take a job near my dad. Friday was my first day, and it's just not right for me. I regret the change and, in addition to that, there's no way I can work this job and take care of my dad. So, I decided to quit and apply for jobs in my old field (University Professor) that will start next year. That will give me time to get my dad settled. I've just been breaking down crying about every 2 hours. I cancelled the appointment I had with the awful, expensive T I saw T times because she's just too cold and rigid. I tentatively made an appointment with someone cheaper, but I already know she's not the right fit. She does CBT, mindfulness, and yoga-- all of which I don't like. I like humanistic, straight forward talk therapy. The only ten minutes I've felt supported in the last few days was when my dad's primary care doctor asked me how I was doing. I burst into tears and she took a few minutes to just talk to me, and she was wonderful. She put her hand on my knee and told me i was a wonderful daughter and that I was doing a good job advocating for my dad and that i deserved to take a break. Why can't I find a T who can do that? I wish my dad's doctor was a T; I'd sign up!

Hugs. You're going through incredible stress. I hope you can find a good T soon.

[LonesomeTonight]

Hugs...that's so much you're dealing with at once. Quitting the job definitely sounds like it was the right choice. One thought is to check into caregiver support groups--hospitals and hospices sometimes run them. Not the same as an individual T, but you could at least talk to some other people who understand. And it could be worth asking your dad's primary care doctor if he has any recommendations for Ts. Hope you're able to find someone soon.

Can your dad's doctor maybe recommend a therapist?

[Shazerac]

Being a care giver can be extremely stressful. There are support groups in most cities now days for care givers. Perhaps you could look into this while trying to find a good T?

sending hugs, that sounds so stressful. I was thinking along the same lines as Bread, can the Dr maybe recommend a t?

[velcro003]

i'm not a fan of mindfulness nor yoga (practice), and definitely not CBT, but I hope you try this T anyway and try to go in with an open mind. It seems you've really struggled with finding a T, and I hope you can maybe allow the fact that them on paper may not be what is in your ideal world, but they can still be "good enough."

I am really sorry you regretted all that huge life-changing stuff you did for your dad. That is truly awful.

[growlycat]

You have had a truly awful year. I am so sorry. I hope you can find a t soon or another support.

[Anne2.0]

I am sorry for the upheaval and in my experience taking care of a terminally ill spouse, it was really, really, really hard. I mean, so hard in every way watching someone go downhill, the physical and emotional work necessary to show up for the person. It sounds like you have a good plan for adapting to this change you didn't know you'd have.

On the T issue, I would not assume that a T of any modality is incapable of supporting you in the way that you need. It seems to me that if you go and articulate what you need and ask if she can provide it, it might turn out to work.