Male or Female T?

Sorry I can delete any of this if the op wants. I don't like drama either

I don't mind but it's just not a huge deal, lets not worry about what term is used anymore, just have fun on here

I'm male and prefer male Ts. My preference is solely based on my comfortability with males. Nothing else.

I don't see drama - all disagreement is not drama. I think calling disagreement drama is a bit dramatic in itself.

[QUOTE=DP_2017;5818288]Right. And I guess if I say "well I don't want a black therapist, only a white one" that's totally ok too? I mean, isn't that my preference? We could argue until we're blue in the face that our choices are all neutral. But they're not. Not exactly surprised that this forum is not feminist but still, it's discouraging. Also I don't see how questioning the use of a word is "drama". Pretty patronizing.

I called it drama because people kept seemingly arguing about it for posts after post... it was getting old to read it.

Sorry I started this thread. Didn't think it would be a huge deal

You are more than welcome to chose a T based on race or religion etc if you want.

I don't use male professionals for anything if I can find a woman. I have some male friends and I like them, but I prefer dealing with women in general. Certainly there are specific women I do not like (and who by all accounts are not all that keen on me either) but as a general rule - I prefer women. Sort of like cats versus dogs - I generally like all cats but I also adore my two specific dogs. I do not like all dogs - in fact - I prefer to not engage with any number of them and there are a few specific cats who have not been my favorite.

I don't think my preferences are based on parental or abuse issues.

One is always free to make one's own thread about a topic related (or tangential to) the original thread.

A pollster's lot is not an easy one.

A am female and both of my therapists were male. I have a long history of preferring for both personal and professional matters and I did not even consider a woman T. Well, the personal part is not entirely true as I am bisexual and tend to like some specific women a lot. I am not in therapy now but if I wanted to do it again, I think I would choose a female because I tend to run into a pattern with the male Ts that is also present in my everyday life and not a problem there but it limits therapy for me.

For me the preference for men is definitely based on experiences earlier in my life. It's much more balanced now because I had better experiences with many specific women as an adult.

[QUOTE=Myrto;5818366]Pretty insulting to say someone you don't even know is sexist.

When I applied for counselling, the only specific request I made was that T be male. I have always been more comfortable talking to men.....just not T. Turns out I was given a guy I had seen before (but never spoke to) and fancied like crazy. The first time he came to the waiting room for me I was mortified! I stayed with him because swapping T could have put me back on the waiting list (about a year long). We work well together, 3 years on he's still cute

I think women can be sexist, too, and Dr. Phil's quote is probably right, even though I'm not a fan of his.

Blame the victim.

i have only ever had female therapists. i find that i feel more comfortable with them and relate to them more. i have nothing against male therapists, but this is just the way i feel.

I don't identify as either in a personal sense - but misogyny is very pervasive and very often discounted - like when they got that female md to tell women after ww2 to give up their jobs to men. Go rewatch Rosie the Riveter.

And Kate Millet just passed away.

I am the one who knocks!!
Thanks una I've never been able to use that line before

I'm not perfect on grammar, but I'm pretty good at it. I cringe when I see certain misuses and misspellings. That said, it's just how I feel and was taught. Nobody's perfect (as I said, including me), but unless you're writing a professional piece of work (or, even as a hobby, you should strive to use good grammar and spelling), we shouldn't lose our minds over it.

Why am I saying all this? Because of the "female vs. woman" thing. If you were writing something professional, it matters. But in general conversation on the Internet, does it really matter? I think what's important is intent. If someone is using the term "female" and means it in a derogatory way, that's one thing. But if they simply mean "woman" and they're just misusing the term, can't we get past it? As long as we know what they mean, can we just stick to the topic?

He looks like my pdoc. its mostly the shaved head.

Yes, and it's called internalized sexism / misogyny -- emphasis on internalized.

There's lots of research on the general phenomenon of internalized oppression but since we are on a psych forum, here's a quick read.

Odd how such an innocent poll and question got twisted into something it was never intended to be. Welcome OP. I know you are fairly new on PC. Sorry your poll and simple question got so sidetracked.

I have only ever seen women therapists. I don't think i could see a male without being a dissociated trauma part. Growing up nearly all the men in my family and family circle were abusive to the women in my life and to me. I know that some men are gentle loving an caring because I see people in real life now who appear to have loving relationships with them. But I personally have never been emotionally close to any man my entire life and i don't understand how a man could be kind or nonabusive to a female. If I saw a male t I would expect to be abused in every interaction with him. Being alone in a room with a man would be far too much for me to bear. Only one thing happens when a man is alone with a female right? I "know" that isn't true. But the whole inside of me screams it as truth. So i could never see a male t.

Although I do have seeing a male t as a distant goal for when I am more integrated and have worked through more of my trauma ..... just so I can learn that not all men will rape.

I actually thought the discussion was/is quite interesting. I'm glad the OP started such a thread, and I'm glad so many posters contributed food for thought.

But if the OP doesn't wish it to continue, perhaps another poster can start a new thread on the wider meaning of the issue.

I'm female, I will only work with female T's.

Yep, exactly -- also, I'll say that the idea of bemoaning a loss of apparent simplicity in discussions of this sort (where one's -- seemingly unexamined -- viewpoints are challenged) is often precisely the kind of attitude that is both a cause and symptom of internalized oppression (note that I do have many critiques of the concept but think that it's rather relevant to this discussion).

Further, one would hope (perhaps in vain) that on a forum such as this one, people are likely to be more "psychologically minded" and consequently, open to examining their statements and assertions, especially when made rather strongly.