[WishfulThinker66]

We have been covering this for the last several weeks in an online wellness program of therapy I am participating in. I am finding a great struggle whit it.

I am stuck on this. It is a barrier. The idea is that when you have them (for instance, no one appreciates me or I am a failure and I am going to have a bad day at work) you are supposed to ask yourself the veracity of the statement. Is this thought helpful to me, etc?

I find this impossible to do. The last thing that is going to go through my mind when I am facing a trigger to my anxiety is to go through a mental checklist to defeat the Unhelpful Thought. When the moment comes I am so deep in my worry that challenging the thought couldn't be further away in my head.

I am wondering if anyone actually has made a success of this.

[feileacan]

There are still no answers to this post. So I'll try my best.

I suppose you are in some kind of CBT-like program? I've understood that there CBT with its thought challenging techniques is not suitable for everyone. First of all because the whole style doesn't fit to the person and secondly, some problems are just too deep to try to work with such a thought challenging.

If your views about yourself are so ingrained and supported by life time of evidence then there's no wonder if attempting to challenge these thoughts in a cognitive level seems superficial and useless.

The other aspect is also that in this forum there seems to be a really high concentration of people with chronic problems, often involving early traumas and attachment problems. CBT-like thought challenging is ineffective in most of such cases and I've understood that most people just avoid CBT-like therapy (me including). I suppose that's the main reason you haven't gotten any answers to your question.

[seeker33]

I agree with feileacan about the reason you didn't get more answers. From what I've observed here, there are some people here who benefited from CBT but my impression is that more members are not huge fans of it. I think that's the reason of lack of responses.
People do read and do care about you, but they are not able to answer. Maybe if you don't like this approach, think of other forms of therapy that might suit you better?
My T tried CBT on me once and I almost threw a tantrum about it so she stopped attempting lol

If you're interested in online therapy (I understood your in an online service now) pm me and I can recommend a good T.

[nottrustin]

I have found that it is easy to do this and work in coping skills when I am doing well but nearly impossible when I am struggling.

[Ididitmyway]

I don't know if you've read any books by Ekhart Tolle. If not, you might find them helpful.

[ArtleyWilkins]

I'm someone who has benefitted from this kind of work (and my issues were not simple or surface -- significant trauma and PTSD), but I do think these skills are presented so often in an overly-simplified, short-term way when, in actuality, it takes a great deal of constant work and time to get to the point where it becomes an internalized and truly helpful skill. The problem is that it gets taught as a "do this, do that, and it will be all better" skill when that really isn't the case.

What worked for me was learning those skills alongside with other types of therapy so that I was working through my history and understanding where those negative thoughts originated and working through that initial trauma/wound/event. Once I truly had looked at and worked through the origination of those thoughts (often deeply ingrained self-talk), only then was I truly able to successfully challenge those negative thoughts. Without doing that deeper work, challenging those thoughts would seem more like trying to put a bandaid on a gaping wound.

I will say that now that I have done that deeper therapy work, those CBT/REBT skills are the tools I carried out of therapy with me and I use them EVERY SINGLE DAY now. Long-term, they have been the tools/skills that have most continued to help me maintain stability and move forward with my life. However, it took me years to truly get to a place where I could internalize those skills so they didn't feel forced and surface.

I think therapists and systems that present CBT skills as a short-term solution are, as others have said, using those skills for shorter-term goals. They CAN be used for more complicated issues; however, I personally think they have to be used in conjunction with other therapies and not be misrepresented as a quick fix -- they aren't that simple.

The shame is that these skills are misrepresented and misused that way by (in my opinion) rather unskilled therapists, and that leaves clients feeling like they are being treated without depth, without respect for their experience, feelings, and intellect, and without any effective results, so they give up on the skills entirely, when, if worked on differently, they might would actually realize those skills have true long-term benefit.

[WishfulThinker66]

Wow!

Thank you!

Your posts have an extremely valuable insight. Good to know there isn't something wrong with me - which was one of those automatic thoughts.

Yes, I do find the unhelpful thoughts overwhelming.

I started a journal yesterday. Even though tackling these thoughts doesn't occur to me on the spot I have wondered if doing so at the end of the day might help. I listed off each of the more major incidents and made an effort to challenge them then after the fact. Who knows if this will help but it is certainly a start.

Again, your responses have been taken with appreciation. Thank you for the advice and thank you for the empathy.

Yes, although not specifically labelled as such, it is obviousl this program (which I have enjoyed thus far) borrows from CBT.