[smileygal]

I've read lots of posts on here from people who hug their T at the end of a session and it makes me curious as to how these hugs begin? Does it start from the first session when initiated by the T or does it naturally just develop over time after a few sessions? I find it odd to think that the T who is essentially a stranger in the first session just goes and hugs a client without knowing their comfort levels and background on touch etc. I know some clients discuss a desire for hugs with their Ts and then it happens but for others, it seems like it was always there. I am a hugger (by that I mean I hug family members and close friends when I meet them and say goodbye but it would have weirded me out if my T tried to hug me early on. Now after many years, it wouldn't seem so weird. In fact, I would like it to happen but it won't so maybe I'm asking out of jealousy but it does make me curious.

[healinginprogress]

It took over a year and a half before I got a hug. My T does not initiate physical contact with clients, but is not opposed to it in certain circumstances.

We had a couple of talks in regards to how I miss "safe" touch. And after a particular hard session she offered me a hug. We don't hug every session, but my T has said that I am welcome at anytime to ask for a hug and she will oblige.

For me, hugs every session would be overwhelming and probably detract from the whole point of feeling safe and having safe touch so I don't frequently ask.

[DP_2017]

mine began about 2 months in, we had to discuss my dislike of being touched but my desire to be hugged, etc, anyway he offered and still does every time, but we hug end of session and he does comfort hugs when i am having a hard session. we also discussed that previously

[ruh roh]

I have no idea. I am three years in and my therapist has sometimes told me to hug myself--at least, until last week when I asked her to never say that again. The thing is, I have never asked for a hug from her (or anyone) so it's especially awful to hear. I think her reasoning is that it will make me feel better, but it comes across more like a pre-emptive rejection. Thankfully, she agreed to stop saying it.

[growlycat]

Maybe 6 months into therapy I had a hard session and wanted to ask for a hug but expected a no. When I voiced this he said of course he could he just doesn't do it all the time. Then it became all the time except recently. It can be complicated. Usually the client has to initiate even then many ts won't do it.

[Swimmersusan]

I've never hugged my T either, I sometimes think it's something I'd really want. Just tat extra bit of support. I've even hinted at it a Couple of times but she's not taken the hint, well I'm pretty sure she has but probably knows I don't take rejection so well. I think she is probably waiting for me to maybe ask, but I know the answer is going to be no, so I just left it and hope oneday she will surprise me!

We talked about it for quite a while before we did it. We still talk about it.
I think it's appropriate for a T to impose hugging on a client. It should be the client's choice.
I always initiate.

Originally Posted by Runcible Spoon

We talked about it for quite a while before we did it. We still talk about it.
I think it's appropriate for a T to impose hugging on a client. It should be the client's choice.
I always initiate.

Haha that should read don't think it's appropriate

[DP_2017]

Originally Posted by Runcible Spoon

We talked about it for quite a while before we did it. We still talk about it.
I think it's appropriate for a T to impose hugging on a client. It should be the client's choice.
I always initiate.

i don't mind, i am too shy and i feel weird about even initiating convos with people let alone any kind of touch but since he asks and we agreed on end of session hugs, i am ok with it

[MobiusPsyche]

My T doesn't hug clients and I wish she did. She said she sometimes gives a hug at the termination session, depending on the person.

[MessyD]

I got my first hug after about a year and a half when I was leaving for a longer period of time. I'm not sure what his rules about this are, I have never asked.
Recently I got couple more hugs. I'm not a hugger, but I was feeling really down and actually thought to myself that I could use a hug again. I don't know if he felt I needed or if he can read minds or what. I wouldn't ask for it but I must admit that it felt good and not weird at all.
But if he did that at the beginning, I would probably totally freak out. And I don't think I would want it every session either, then I would just get used to it and it probably wouldn't be as comforting.

[ScarletPimpernel]

I asked my T if she hugged during our first session. I didn't actually ask for a hug till several months later. Ever since, we hug after every session.

[Sarmas]

Originally Posted by ruh roh

I have no idea. I am three years in and my therapist has sometimes told me to hug myself--at least, until last week when I asked her to never say that again. The thing is, I have never asked for a hug from her (or anyone) so it's especially awful to hear. I think her reasoning is that it will make me feel better, but it comes across more like a pre-emptive rejection. Thankfully, she agreed to stop saying it.

I think that is a crazy thing that she suggested. That would also make me feel uneasy or something to that effect. I agree with you .good move.