[confused4ever]

I had my session today, my T wants me to go into the hospital for 3 days or so. He thinks that I am slipping and that my suicide idealations are concerning him, he says that he is afraid I have to much coming at me at once right now, and that he is afraid I will make the wrong choices, and I need someone 24/7 for alitte while to help me work things out. I cancelled my appt today with my psychiatrist that regulates my meds, I have been so down and out, I just don't feel like going through this with yet another person, and I just didn't want to go today, I cancelled and re-scheduled for next week. My T thinks that this is not a very good sign and with all the talk and negative feelings he is afraid that I will harm myself. He says he doesn't believe that I want to end my life, but the depression is taking over and is afraid I will make the wrong choices........I am so scared to go into the hospital.......they will throw the key away and I will never come out........my dad used to tell me that all the time........if I ever said anything to anyone about what he did, that they would throw me in a mental institute and I would never come out.......what if he is right......????

My kids are freaking out, my daughters b-day is this weekend, she wants me here for her party......my husband and I are on the fritz....he is still here, but when I told him what my T wants me to do, he asked if I could hold off until Feburary, when we are financially more stable, he can't afford to miss work right now........I have been out of work for 3 months due to wrist surgery, just started back and we are finally getting somewhat set.........I feel like .......don't even know right now........

[toffeellen]

Id ask for home treatment team rather than go in hospital. Hospital are often frightening and unhelpful places, though a few people do find them helpful. a lot of people end up being mroe traumatised by being in hospital and it simply adds to problems.

As someone who has been in a hospital as a patient and who works in a hospital as a therapist, I can assure you that no one is going to throw away the key on you.

I don't know what the laws are like in where you are but here in PA a patient has the right to sign a 72 hour notice as long as she/he was not involuntarily committed.

When I was in the hospital back in NY I left AMA (against medical advice)

So unless you are very dangerous or unstable or have living environment to return to, it would probably be very difficult for the hospital to throw away the key.

I completely understand your fears... I'm just trying to help you think rationally in the event that you feel you need to go to the hospital.

As unpleasant as the hospital may be it is also 24 hour support, a place to keep you safe. If you are feeling unsafe you should not hesistate to get the help you need-- no matter what anyone else says-- regardless of your husband or your finances-- this is your life. Is your therapist's concern valid? Do you share his concern?

The hospital is not to hurt you. It is to help you get the support and safety that you need.

[confused4ever]

Yes, my T is valid in his concerns, and I share it also, we have been working on it for a few weeks now, but I am slipping and he saw it today....I couldn't put up the no big deal feelings today......He said the same things you did, I know I need to go........I just wasn't expecting him to say today!!!! Then I get home and get all this crap........and now I feel like I have to make it all good here, before I can do anything for me.........

[Perna]

I would at least wait and see what your pdoc says next week (and I'd make sure I went to that appointment). I'd make a "simple" list of things to do/think about between now and then; your daughter's party, looking into the hospital's program and how a 3-day stay would work, what it could do for you, approximately how much it would cost -- looking at things from a third-person, "practical" manner only, as if you're researching for someone else rather than "worrying" about what's going on with yourself. I'd contract with your T not to do anything serious/harmful this week, etc.