[MissCharlotte]

So here I am at home, where I've been all day sick.

Have to leave for therapy in 40 minutes and haven't even showered yet.

I just realized what's going on. Last session was so wonderful and cozy that I don't want to lose that feeling. (Remember the fireplace?)

I'm having a hard time.

arghh

[sunrise]

Hope it goes well, sister. I wish you another cozy session today! It can happen twice in a row, no rule against it.

I am experiencing a bit of the same. I was sick yesterday and last night with fever, chills, etc. I'm exhausted today but my temp is down. I have therapy today for the first time in 14 days! I look like crap and can't talk that well because I'm so stuffed up. I can't even remember what we talked about 2 weeks ago. I have no idea what we'll talk about today. I feel foggy.

I hope he can put out more than usual because I feel very low energy and not thinking clearly--unable to meet him half way.

[Perna]

Showers almost always make me feel better while still continuing the illusion I'm warm and cozy/taking care of myself :-) I use to find music that went along with how I felt and played it over and over on the way to/from therapy (and to/from work, etc.) for a week or month at a time.

[MissCharlotte]

Didn't lose the feeling. It grew. It changed. We got closer.

I had a difficult time framing my feelings and putting them into words tonight and T was frustrated in his inability to connect with me and said so. At first it felt a little like criticism.

We talked it through. I called afterward and left him a message explaining what I experience in those moments when I can't connect. Then I called again and left another and asked him to call me and leave me a message if he understood what I was saying. (I wasn't available to speak.)

Not only did he call and leave the message, but he thanked me for mine. Then he said that he realized he would have to tolerate his own frustration. I realized that his frustration in not being able to connect with me was a mirror of my confusion because I wasn't connecting with me. So he was actually right there with me!

I called him back again and left him another message, letting him know how much I appreciated his message and how I felt he had been right there with me. Sigh.

Damn this is beautiful.

The frustration of T-- the evidence that the connection is reciprocal. Sounds like a great session.

Oh, and I hope whatever you have goes away soon and you feel better. I'm sure your session helped. :-)

[sunrise]

Sounds like an awesome package--the session and then the post-session phone calls. He really does seem right there with you. How validating (and heartwarming!) to have him tell you of his frustration at not being able to connect. Therapy is definitely a joint project, it is not just all client. It takes two to tango, and you two are doing it!