"Use it or lose it!"

I know I've "lost it!", but three years ago, I became involved with a man, and was wild about him...At age 53 at the time, I attempted to become intimate, and couldn't. I had remained abstinant for three years prior to this experience, and it frightened me, since I'd never, ever, had such a problem.
This really IS about the effects of menopause and aging, I guess, but I was unaware that such a thing could happen. I had stopped taking the HRT a couple of years prior because of the health risks, and didn't realize it would affect me sexually as it did. I was simply unable to have intercourse!
I went to my OBGYN, really fearful that something bad was wrong, but he just said "Use it or lose it," in his Indian accent.
The relationship didn't last...him rejecting me, and really humiliating for me at my age, and bringing me here to PC for help. I've recovered from it, but haven't allowed myself to have a single sexual thought since then...Know I've really lost it....."use it or lose it!"
Patty

Do you mean that you could not have intercourse due to the lack of lubrication which can accompany menopause? Or was there some other issue?

em

Lubricant didn't help, as I had shrunk so much! This is embarrassing to relate, but it seems with abstinance and forgetting about sexuality for a time after menopause, this seems to be the situation!
Patty

Ummmm ... stating the obvious ... 'toys'?

you can play with different sizes ... etc ...

I'd be heading right down to the local D-Vice! (sex toy shop here)

I was surgically forced into menopause at the ripe old age of 24. no hrt and no problems with the libido or lubricant either. guess I am pretty lucky that way. also what helps is finding someone that is really tender and loving. seems to really help me alot!

patty, it's called atrophy and all you do is get a prescription for HRT cream.(it was very unprofessional for the doctor to say that, because that isn't the truth at all.) it isn't the same as taking the hormone. topical and the usage is twice a week. it restores all that matters and everything is comfortable again............p..s. of course the cream is very expensive.........

Pat, at the time, he did give me a prescription for the HRT cream, which I used for a short while.
Alas, I have even no interest in toys right now!
Patty

ATROPHY??? Holy carp! Sounds like we're decidious tress and our leaves are going dry up and fall off. I don't like the sound of that at all!

em

Wow, now I'm concerned...in a few ways...

Concerned and more informed! Thanks for openly discussing this cause it means I gotta get busy (and no I ain't saying in which way or all...LOL).

thanks again!

KD

Yes, by doing my own research online, I did discover it is called "atrophy.'"...Not unlike a leaf drying up!
I suspect that if one remains sexually active, this would not be such a problem, even without the hormone replacement therapy. It's just the lack of activity that contributed to it in my case.
I'm a "dried up leaf!"
Love
Patty

(((((((((((((((((( patty ))))))))))))))))))))))

KD

(((PATTY)))
Maybe you are just a messenger to remind us all what may happen one day to ourselves as women as we age. thank you for sharing your story it may save someone else the humiliation that you have had to endure from your experience which was not called for under any circumstance. Take care of yourself (((PATTY))). Soidhonia

when we quit producing enough estrogen, the atrophy occurs. i'm not positive that the "use it or lose it" approach is medically correct.......it does help to stay sexually active but some women still need the HRT cream to not "dry up" and blow away......and a good lubricant may be needed also. as we age, the chichi changes......(my mother's caregiver named it that) the tissue becomes thinner and drier.

and for a lubricant, try to find a water-based one as the glycerin based ones can cause some women to have frequent yeast infections. you have to look around a bit more, like online, but there are very good water based and natural lubricants available.

Vaginal Dryness (Alternative Treatment):

Wild yam (Dioscorea villosa)

Many women claim that wild yam (when used as a cream) improves menopausal symptoms, particularly vaginal dryness. While this extract has been converted to progesterone in laboratory test tubes, the value of wild yam for menopausal symptoms has not yet been fully evaluated in people or even in animals.

Web site: http://planetorganic.ca/goodforyou/integratedmedicine

Are you telling me to put a sweet potato in my underpants?

I don't wanna grow up!

em

yes! i've also read about the yams! try it, ems! and report back!

LOL...y'all are giving me lots of great suggestions here!
I know about the HRT cream, and will remember the wild yam suggestion.
At this point, I'm rather content not thinking about sexuality at all! No prince charming is going to charge into my life, of which I am certain!
I would have been wise to have abstained from sexual involvement in my recent past. I do think I have equated sex with "love," unfortunately, as I look back on my experiences. I heard a lot of the "we are not spring chickens" talk from them, and thought, well, okay...we're attracted to each other, and let's go for it! NOT!
My experiences have been horrendous, and like the moth to a flame thingy...I've learned my lesson, so much so, that I am feeling much safer solo, not even thinkng about sexuality!
Love
Patty

this makes me wonder why I don't have the dryness problem having had complete hysterectomy at 24 with no hrt? hmmm interesting.