What does connection look like?

I've been reading posts where people bring up connection with their T. I have a hard time connecting with people, in fact I don't, really. What does "connection" with your therapist "feel like?" Is it total trust, or attachment, or ???

different for everyone. for me it's very much how i'd describe the feeling of a best friend, which is why i have intense feelings of wishing we could be friends....

from day 1, we teased and joked around with each other and over the past 7 months have done it more and more and found out we have tons in common, so its easy to just talk about things....

its also something that, i feel at ease around him, I'm not scared or thinking he hates me. i can say whatever, no matter how silly or stupid it may seem..... and i know he is ok with it.

its also the serious part of our relationship, the part where he is the only person i feel comfortable hugging, and crying with. the part where he can call me on something and i am not offended but i know he means well and is right.

any other circumstance in the world where we were not bound by rules, 100% promise we would be good friends, that is the kind of connection we have. of course i too, rarely have this with people which makes the rules all the more frustrating and it takes time to build this, oh and he is the person i trust most in my life.... so that part too

i guess i would just say for someone who does not get this often, you just know, its a intense feeling like no other, and you know in your heart it feels right.

I'm not real fond of terms like connection and attachment. For me, it's just an ability to be comfortable enough with the therapist to openly communicate with him. I don't think you "have" to have some like magical bond or attachment in order for therapy to be effective. I was just content to have therapists that I meshed with enough personality-wise that I felt comfortable talking to them.

For me, it feels like mutual interest, engagement in the interaction, and an ability to listen and understand what the other person is saying. It also has elements of palpable mutual respect. For me, a connection with someone does not equal to attachment at all, it's more about interest and involvement in the interaction. Often it is triggered by perceived similarities between myself and the other person as well, a sense that we have something in common and compatible in personalities.

Lack of connection is usually when I don't feel and targeted interest from the other, or I feel that they do not listen and just keep pushing their agendas. Also if we think and communicate in dramatically different ways, our interests don't have much overlap, etc.

I think "familiarity" or "comfort" are good words? You know what to expect and you get what you expect. You feel respected, cared about, treated fairly, listened to, treated as an equal. It feels like both sides are working to make the relationship positive and productive. That goes for any relationship.

Beyond that, I think in a positive connection, there is just a natural feeling of fondness and sense of being "together" while not "the same."

Such a good question! I’m really slow to trust, so connection for me has been the ability to trust my therapist, know what I’ve said is important to him, that he is reliable. I feel understood, that my therapist makes connections in what I’ve said that is correct almost all the time. I feel cared for—the whole unconditonal positive regard thing. That my therapist is on my side (something I often forget, even after months.)

With my last t, the connection was something I don't really know how to even describe. It was a "feel good" energy that I inherently knew to be connection. It was so strong from the start, and my t felt it too. It caused us both to have a lot of contact in between session, which then led to attachment (among other things).

With my current t, the connection is subtly soft and contained. It's a feeling of mutual liking and respect. It's knowing she is a good person at heart who cares about me within the realms of a therapist-client relationship so that we can work well together for my benefit. The connection is not the focal point of the therapy. It just lies in the background kind of acting as a safety net.

I connect with real people all the time. I don't see the point of it with a therapist.

In my experience my connection with my T is based on mutual trust and respect. I feel connected to my T because I know that she cares about me as a person. And is genuinely interested in my well being.

She trusts me to make the best decisions for me even when I don't trust myself. And I trust her with my vulunerabilities and self-doubt.