[Lettinginthebeauty]

I am trying to figure out this “homework” from my therapist.
I have been working on adjusting to new motherhood, dealing the post partum in anxiety and depression. Having been abused as a kid it is hard to mother myself and my kiddo. My therapist asked me to visualize something that symbolizes me taking care of myself and being my own mother, the kind of mother I am to my child, but not just for the baby but also taking care of myself.
I want a way to visualize this like an image or something like that.
This is so vague and probably confusing but anyone understand who can help me?

[Fernwehxx]

I think mine asked me to do something similarva while back when we went into something quite challenging. It was about feeling safe and not alone.
I pictured something that makes me feel safe and comforted, gives me warmth and hokds that inner child that feels so incredibly alone. For me, this image is an animal, images of my pets, and ahe even aaked me for a spiritual connection to hold on to, and thats my deceased pet. Its hard, but feeling safe and warm and comfirted worked at first.
I do,not know how to be motherly nurturing to myself, but I know we'll get there .., and I hope I can then be a littlw bit more like it.

[BonnieJean]

I don't know what you find comforting but imagining a soft, warm blanket wrapped around my shoulders is something I might do for self care. It is something a mom could do.

[kecanoe]

I have used the image of a (motherly) mama bear. Large, powerful, protective, warm. She is big enough to take care of me and furry and soft enough to snuggle all of me. Sometimes I imagine her outside and sometimes I imagine myself in a cave.

[TrailRunner14]

What comes to mind for me, is me loving and taking care of my grand daughter.

I was emotionally neglected and abused as early as an infant and it continued.

My grand daughter spends the day with me while her mother is at work.

It has been so wonderful for me to be able to love on her, care for her and speak words of strength and love to her. I can feel the young little parts of me hear what I say to her and see how I care for her.

My younger parts hear her laughter and her attempts at giving me kisses on my face. I can’t tell you the joy that it gives to them and me.

Internally it has helped them find comfort and a hope of safety. It’s healing what was never there and longed for.

I don’t know if that is what you were asking, but it’s what came to my mind.

[childofchaos831]

I was emotionally abused and neglected pretty much my entire life by my mother, so I'm still learning, but a few things I can think of...

Foods. Feeding the baby, and getting a treat for you. I do things like hot chocolate or myg favorite candy now and then. Careful not to go overboard, cuz sugar can cause problems sometimes.

Baths. Bathing the baby and taking some time to just relax and take a bubble bath for you.

Naps. Kinda self explanatory. You are probably not getting much sleep right now, so napping when you can, often when the baby is down for one also, can really help.

Sometimes, mothering ourselves (self care) can really be as simple as "have I eaten, bathed and slept?" I have days that changing out of my PJ's is the best I can do, so I try to remember these simple things.

[WarmFuzzySocks]

Do you have a rocking chair? Rocking a sleepy baby can be profoundly peaceful and soothing. You are rocking together so you are also rocking yourself. Rocking has a calming and regulating effect on adult bodies and brains too, so even wrapping in a warm blanket and rocking alone with a good book and a cup of tea can be nurturing.

It’s a concrete sensory experience rather than a visualization, but I decided to share because reading your post reminded me of rocking my babies to sleep, a way to nurture and self-nurture. So much so that I feel calmed and soothed now just remembering those sweet moments drowsing or reading in the chair rocking my sweet babies, who are teens and young adults now.

Congratulations on your new baby.

[SalingerEsme]

Bubble bath for you and baby?

When I had my 1st born 30yrs ago. I'd never felt so depressed. Sometimes I'd just stare at him, feeling sorry he had me as a mother. I wasn't really aware that my childhood had been abusive, neglectful. It was just what it was. I knew something was wrong but couldn't bring it to mind.
But, something inside me had ideas of what experiences I wanted for my son. I wanted him to be looked at as I fed him - adoptive mother propped me up and seldom held me - I wanted him to feel a tender kiss on his cheek as I put him down to sleep - adoptive mother never held nor kissed me - I wanted him to feel he mattered, he belonged. I felt all this alongside feeling the worst depression ever.

Is only years later as I explored my past in therapy that all the pieces fit. Somewhere inside me, I knew what I'd missed and I didn't want my son to suffer.
I guess if I'd had to do it as homework it would have felt to contrived. If I'd had to think to much about it.
I guess, I was lucky, I'm a great creater in my mind. I created without knowing what it was my son needed.
Perhaps, just go with the little things like looking into your child's eyes and see where that takes you.

[Elio]

Originally Posted by TrailRunner14

What comes to mind for me, is me loving and taking care of my grand daughter.

I was emotionally neglected and abused as early as an infant and it continued.

My grand daughter spends the day with me while her mother is at work.

It has been so wonderful for me to be able to love on her, care for her and speak words of strength and love to her. I can feel the young little parts of me hear what I say to her and see how I care for her.

My younger parts hear her laughter and her attempts at giving me kisses on my face. I can’t tell you the joy that it gives to them and me.

Internally it has helped them find comfort and a hope of safety. It’s healing what was never there and longed for.

I don’t know if that is what you were asking, but it’s what came to my mind.

This is similar to how it worked out for me. Until I had my grandson in my life, I couldn't visualize how to take care of a child like this. One time about a year into therapy, my grandson was over visiting. He had crawled into my lap while we were watching a movie. I just held him and hugged him throughout the movie. I thought from the holder side how it felt to hold a child, and from how relaxed and warm he felt in my lap, I imagined how my inner child would feel being held like that - feeling safe, protected, loved.

I also don't know if this helps. I hope it does.

[InnerPeace111]

If this appeals to you, how about finding an image of an angel? You could view the angel as the type of mother you want to be for your own child...loving, kind, caring, gentle, compassionate, etc. or you could view the angel as representative of love, support, and compassion for yourself. You could even use two angel images side-by-side — one for your child and one for you. Just a thought.