[machupicchu]

I missed a call from my t recently, so she left a voicemail.

I have started to listen to this occasionally when I'm not feeling so good or when there's a longer gap in therapy (usually go once a week) but was not able to over Christmas. Listening to it, helps me feel connected and I find it comforting listening to her voice.

But I also feel really ashamed for doing this and there's a small part of me that's paranoid she will somehow know every time I listen to it (know that's not possible though). I also feel guilty, she didn't leave that voicemail knowing I would do this and she might not be ok with it and I'm worried she'll think I'm weird.
Just looking for people's opinions on this, anyone else do something similar?

[ElectricManatee]

I think this is totally normal and actually not a bad coping strategy overall. I have every voicemail my T has ever left (maybe a half-dozen or so), including two that she left specifically for me to listen to when I want to hear her voice and feel connected to her and some of the ideas from my therapy.

Life is hard. It's okay to want to feel connected to somebody who makes you feel better.

[Elio]

Originally Posted by ElectricManatee

I think this is totally normal and actually not a bad coping strategy overall. I have every voicemail my T has ever left (maybe a half-dozen or so), including two that she left specifically for me to listen to when I want to hear her voice and feel connected to her and some of the ideas from my therapy.

Life is hard. It's okay to want to feel connected to somebody who makes you feel better.

Ditto, I have 2 voicemail from my T that I used to listen to whenever I wanted to feel connected or whenever I got a new voicemail. The swapped out my voicemail system several months back and offered to convert saved voicemails to MP3. I did that with these voicemails.

So, not weird, and in the scope of coping mechanisms it falls on the safer side for me.

Not unusual or bad at all. My T has done several online videos which I watch whenever I am missing the connection. He knows and doesn't mind at all.

[LonesomeTonight]

This is pretty common, I think. I have a very caring voicemail from my marriage counselor from a couple years ago that I used to listen to when I was in a bad place. And I've certainly reread plenty of e-mails--I suspect a recent one from current T will end up in the "rereading when I feel bad/disconnected from him" category, too.

And sometimes I look at their professional websites, including their pictures. It's funny, I tend to do that using private browsing, just in case it's tracking IP addresses of visits. Not that I'm doing anything wrong by looking at their professional websites at all!

[Argonautomobile]

I did exactly this a few months after starting with my T. I felt like such a creep. But T didn't bat an eye when I confessed later. It's not uncommon. Makes sense when you're feeling down or lonely and are working on building other resources. I no longer feel the need to do it at all now that I feel better.

[machupicchu]

Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight

This is pretty common, I think. I have a very caring voicemail from my marriage counselor from a couple years ago that I used to listen to when I was in a bad place. And I've certainly reread plenty of e-mails--I suspect a recent one from current T will end up in the "rereading when I feel bad/disconnected from him" category, too.

And sometimes I look at their professional websites, including their pictures. It's funny, I tend to do that using private browsing, just in case it's tracking IP addresses of visits. Not that I'm doing anything wrong by looking at their professional websites at all!

I definitely reread emails too but I don't feel bad about that for some reason.

I also very occasionally look at her website, I also worry about my IP address being tracked.

It's reassuring to see this seems relatively normal from the responses

[ElectricManatee]

Ooh, I never even thought to worry about IP tracking! But then my T probably deduced how much attention I was paying to her professional website when I pointed out that her street address was slightly wrong on it...

[NP_Complete]

I also saved a voice mail he left me. I don't think it's that odd. He's told me before that some clients like to call his phone just to hear his voice on the outgoing message. I've only done that once when I was having a really awful day and I left a message telling him I just called to hear his voice. I would feel kind of self-conscious if I did that often though.

I don't see why this would be an issue or even unusual. People use all sorts of things like social media, photographs, podcasts, writings etc of others that inspire them, all the time. Why not stuff from a therapist, especially if it is helpful?

[JaneTennison1]

Not weird, my T told me she recorded a voicemail for another client and they used to listen to it to feel connected and remember she was there.

[nikon]

i can relate to worrying that a therapist or dr will somehow know if i've been on their website or something like that.
my therapist recorded a long meditation for me on my phone, but it actually freaks me out to listen to it and i've only ever got through one or two minutes. i don't like hearing him out of the room he's meant to be in! it makes me really anxious like there's a stranger in the house.
i understand why people would find it comforting to listen to stuff like that though. for me it feels more like a mixed up thing where i feel ashamed to need attention and care, so actually listening to something like that is such an admission of that need it makes me feel really yuck and vulnerable and scared.

[fille_folle]

Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight

This is pretty common, I think. I have a very caring voicemail from my marriage counselor from a couple years ago that I used to listen to when I was in a bad place. And I've certainly reread plenty of e-mails--I suspect a recent one from current T will end up in the "rereading when I feel bad/disconnected from him" category, too.

And sometimes I look at their professional websites, including their pictures. It's funny, I tend to do that using private browsing, just in case it's tracking IP addresses of visits. Not that I'm doing anything wrong by looking at their professional websites at all!

Not to alarm you, but private browsing doesn't block your IP address. All it does is not leave traces of your browsing on your own computer. It has nothing to do with protecting your privacy from sites you visit (except that it clears cookies and active logins). Just FYI.

A little horror story related to this: I had looked at my current T's and previous T's linkedin profiles several times. Last time I visited my T's page, I saw my previous T is now listed as someone frequently viewed by people visiting T's page. This was horrifying because my previous T lives hours away and it's extremely unlikely that anyone but me would view both profiles.

[Hazelgreen]

Originally Posted by machupicchu

I missed a call from my t recently, so she left a voicemail.

I have started to listen to this occasionally when I'm not feeling so good or when there's a longer gap in therapy (usually go once a week) but was not able to over Christmas. Listening to it, helps me feel connected and I find it comforting listening to her voice.

But I also feel really ashamed for doing this and there's a small part of me that's paranoid she will somehow know every time I listen to it (know that's not possible though). I also feel guilty, she didn't leave that voicemail knowing I would do this and she might not be ok with it and I'm worried she'll think I'm weird.
Just looking for people's opinions on this, anyone else do something similar?

I go over and over my t texts to me. If I had her voice on my phone I would definitely listen to it. It would bring me comfort. And isn’t that what t would want? When you are feeling vulnerable or scared they would want you to think of their words. What you are doing is the right thing to do.

Originally Posted by fille_folle

A little horror story related to this: I had looked at my current T's and previous T's linkedin profiles several times. Last time I visited my T's page, I saw my previous T is now listed as someone frequently viewed by people visiting T's page. This was horrifying because my previous T lives hours away and it's extremely unlikely that anyone but me would view both profiles.

This happened to me even though I was using private search on linkedin! My ex Ts "people also viewed" were my current T, my current Ts wife, two of my uni tutors, and a friend's T!!

[doogie]

Just another person chiming in to say it's not weird at all. I have even asked my t to purposely call to leave a voicemail with some caring/encouragement when she was going away on vacation or something. She was happy to do it. She has also recorded a imagery exercise that we do in session for me to listen to at home. It's hard to explain why it helps, but I guess hearing her voice just provides a sense of calm and safety.

[MRT6211]

Not weird at all. I used to do the same. One of my former T’s also made recordings for me to listen to between sessions for that very reason. It’s natural to long that connection between sessions.

Nothing wrong with that at all! dont feel bad!
my therapist leaves me voices mails ad little videos so that i can listen/ watch to feel connected through her and remember her kind words.

[LonesomeTonight]

Well, I'll just have to hope that T doesn't pay attention to the IP addresses of people looking at his website... because he's said he expects clients to google. So looking at his professional website should be nothing...