[peaches100]

I violated my rule on not sending an email to my t, but I am not going to beat myself up since I haven't sent more than 1 email per month since August. Plus, she told me I could do it if there was something specific I wanted to talk about/work on in my upcoming session. There is.

So anyway, I emailed my t that I want to talk about where I can get additional alternative support for between session contact if I need it. I also brought up the idea of seeing a different therapist through my Employee Assistance Program at work on weeks when she is out of town and won't be able to conduct my session. In addition, I asked for recommendations for any free phone support lines or Web sites. I also said that since working on attachment, dissociation, parts work, etc., has not worked out for us in sessions, could she recommend a workbook I could do on my own outside of our sessions to address those issues?

I added that I am not implying that I don't want to continue therapy with her. I just need some ideas for obtaining the additional professional support should the need arise, and that I don't expect the extra support to come from her.

Does what I said sound OK? I'm not trying to make it sound like I don't want to work with my t anymore. I'm just not going to try to get milk out of a turnip anymore. Surely, by this time, she understands that I need more than she can give??? If she can't give the extra support, yet would like me to continue working with her, rather than change therapists, shouldn't she help me find the additional resources I need?

She emailed me back that we could talk about all of this on my session tomorrow.

[growlycat]

You are being proactive in asserting your needs and that is a good thing. If therapy with her is not enough she needs to know that. It may not just be you, she may not be offering enough to you. I hope it goes well!!

[Salmon77]

Your email sounds fine to me and it's good to seek out the support you need inbetween sessions. From what you say, it seems like you're expecting her to react badly to this but I don't see why she would?

[Spangle]

I think your request is perfectly reasonable. You have asked assertively, which is great & you have identified what you need. The email is professional & to the point.

[rainbow8]

I think it's a good idea and your email is fine. I wonder if it will lead to your T becoming defensive and putting it back on you, that you don't reach out to her when you need to. I don't think she will say that because you've been more assertive about your needs, which she obviously can't meet. I hope your session goes well!!

[Catlovers141]

Alternative support is a great idea!
I would sincerely hope that your T would not respond negatively. You need to have an option for when she is not available.
Plus, it is nice to be able to choose between who you want support from and think about where you can best get it, rather than only having one place you can go to for support.
I think that your email is more than ok; it's great that you are being assertive and proactive.

[stopdog]

I think alternative support is a good idea. I personally would not trust a therapist to assist in that.

[fille_folle]

Let me know if you find a workbook that deals with parts issues... I've never seen one, but I've looked.

[InnerPeace111]

“...shouldn’t she help me find the additional resources I need?”

You seem to have a good sense of what you already need for yourself. Might you feel more empowered in the long run if you take on this task yourself?

[Amyjay]

I agree with inner peace here. You know what you want and what you need. I sense you still really want this from T. You could find those resources for yourself. But you really want to t to be able to provide them. Please understand I don't say that with judgment. It is honesty - you hurt, you have trusted your t for so long, and you just really wish she could give this to you. The hurting child is asking t to provide it, because you still want it to come from T. It is not wrong to want that. It is painful for you. But the no-nonsense outer one who can rationalize and intellectualize and all of that can ask in this adult way... see? I am taking care of myself, I am asking for what I need, I am being adult and rational and no-nonsense and not a demanding needy child (again not a judgement - adult parts often feel that way about hurting child parts), and I am not asking YOU to give it to me because I know you won't...
But I see your hurting inner child in here as well as the intellectual adult.
Together you are all just trying to get what you need. There is NOTHING wrong in what you wrote or what you asked for. Nothing at all. There is nothing wrong with it and nothing unacceptable about it.
There is lots of good stuff to talk about with your T tomorrow.

[dlantern]

Going off behaving on a tangent is totally what the point is. They need to acknowledge that or keep it moving. It is not going to relive what happen over and over that is dangerous and immature. A toll free number might help you find alternative support I guess if good they would provide if feeling sorry for themselves adding more to ur worry then they won't, find it yourself would be my suggestion.