Am I the only one who has absolutely no attachment to their therapist? Mine is wonderful and does a great job, but if she stopped seeing me tomorrow I wouldn't care. This therapist is relatively new to me, but I was the same way with my last therapist. Seeing a lot of posts on here I feel odd that I have no emotional attachment.

[atisketatasket]

I didn’t/don’t have attachment for most of my therapists.

Count yourself lucky, given how painful it can be. Some people say it’s necessary for therapy to work, I don’t think it is.

[Marsfx]

Hmm, I don't feel like I have any general attachment to my current therapist though I have been going back and forth over continue seeing her. But I was actually wondering if it's normal to not be attached to a therapist. I'd say I'm "used to" my therapist, but if I had to switch it would only bother me in terms of feeling like I'd have to go through the process of a therapist "getting to know me" again. I feel like my therapist should be special to me, but on the other hand I like that she's replaceable to me like other doctors I see. But then it reminds me of teachers/professors and how I could easily be taught by someone else, but they don't feel as replaceable... idk

[Amyjay]

I don't feel like I am attached to my therapist. But then I have extensive attachment trauma with both parents and am not really able to form relationships with anyone.

As long as you like your therapist and feel like you're being helped, maybe thats all that matters.

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

I didn’t/don’t have attachment for most of my therapists.

Count yourself lucky, given how painful it can be. Some people say it’s necessary for therapy to work, I don’t think it is.

Interesting. I definitely don't think you have to be attached for therapy to work. I get a lot of benefit out of my sessions and am working through deep issues. I'm just not attached.

[zoiecat]

You are not alone I too am not attached to my therapist in any way. I like him and trust him as much as I can trust anybody and I feel he does a great job of helping me work through my trauma but if something happened where I could not see him again I would be fine or we just find a different therapist. I also experienced a lot of trauma as a kid and I quickly learned to not attached to anybody it is very hard for me to trust anyone or form relationships.

I don't have any outside contact with my therapist I don't think he would allow it at least not him responding back but I've never asked. I just don't feel the need. I kind of wonder sometimes if he did allow it, if I would become hooked and attached as so many people here seem to be.

I would be curious to know what is the correlation between outside contact and attachment to your therapist. From what I read here it seems like sometimes therapist are not doing their clients any favors by continuing to allow all the outside contact. It seems to only perpetuate the need for more contact or more distress by not receiving the intended response. I don't know I'm just curious.

[DP_2017]

be lucky, it is awful

Originally Posted by DP_2017

be lucky, it is awful

Sorry. I didn't mean to minimize anyone else's troubles. I just wondered if there was something wrong with me.

[zoiecat]

I wouldn't say there's necessarily anything wrong with you just because you're not attached to your therapist.

You could however still have attachment issues that need to be worked through. I personally find it very hard to attach to anybody, trust anybody, or let anybody into my physical or emotional space. This is due to abuse suffered at a very young age and to me that is a problem. Only you and your therapist can decide if you have similar issues that you want to address.

[AllHeart]

I've been attached to 1 out of 4 therapists. I find that therapy works better for me without an attachment. It keeps the focus on my needs for therapy, not the relationship with my therapist. But, that's just me.

Originally Posted by zoiecat

I wouldn't say there's necessarily anything wrong with you just because you're not attached to your therapist.

You could however still have attachment issues that need to be worked through. I personally find it very hard to attach to anybody, trust anybody, or let anybody into my physical or emotional space. This is due to abuse suffered at a very young age and to me that is a problem. Only you and your therapist can decide if you have similar issues that you want to address.

Interesting perspective. I don't think its attachment issues. I just see her like I see my family doc, strictly business.

[Nammu]

Even though I had severe trauma I never got attached to my Ts or Pdocs either...never knew it was a big thing till the psychotherapy forum on PC there was a point where I got used to having therapy on the same day at the same time but if it had been a different T that would have been fine except for the need to go over old stuff to catch them up. Don't get me wrong I liked them and they helped me a great deal but I never needed to be attached to them.

[HowDoYouFeelMeow?]

I don't think it's odd. Although I'm attached to my T, I see people here on PC who hate and dehumanize their Ts. I guess that's how they like to spend their money, but I'm glad you find your T helpful and worthwhile, even if you're not attached to them.

Originally Posted by HowDoYouFeelMeow?

I don't think it's odd. Although I'm attached to my T, I see people here on PC who hate and dehumanize their Ts. I guess that's how they like to spend their money, but I'm glad you find your T helpful and worthwhile, even if you're not attached to them.

Thanks. She is helping me a lot. I'm making serious progress. I'm grateful to her, just lack attachment.

[annielovesbacon]

I wouldn't say I have zero attachment to her, but I'm not really attached to her much. If we ever terminated, I would be anxious and/or sad but not because I would be heartbroken or would feel like I lost a best friend or anything, it would be because starting over with a new therapist is very difficult.
That said, I enjoy seeing her, and we have a great working relationship. I value that.

Originally Posted by TheSadGirl

Am I the only one who has absolutely no attachment to their therapist? Mine is wonderful and does a great job, but if she stopped seeing me tomorrow I wouldn't care. This therapist is relatively new to me, but I was the same way with my last therapist. Seeing a lot of posts on here I feel odd that I have no emotional attachment.

I think having zero emotional attachment is what you are bringing to the therapy is the opposite side of the coin to what you are reading. Just grist for the mill. I wouldn't take it at face value.

Do you have trouble with attachment in other relationships as well? I only ask because I am curious if attachment style plays into this. Personally, I am attached to my T. She has been amazing. I also know that I push her away constantly because it freaks me out. I am very much the fearful-avoidant type but I imagine the whole therapy scenario might be easier if you have a secure attachment history.

[pepper_mint]

Originally Posted by TheSadGirl

Interesting. I definitely don't think you have to be attached for therapy to work. I get a lot of benefit out of my sessions and am working through deep issues. I'm just not attached.

The question is - do you have problems with attaching to people? Are you able to do this? Because if the answer is "yes, I have a problem with this", I would say that when you finally are able to attach to your therapist it means that therapy works and you're both doing a good job in creating a safe relationship. And then you will be able to attach also to other people in your life (when you understand why it was hard to trust people or this kind of stuff).
(as I understood good attachment is important thing in life)
And if you do everything to not to be attached to T you just won't fix this problem.

But maybe it's not a problem for you and you work on completly different stuff and it doesn't matter at all in your case?

For example, for me, it's difficult to attach to people and I want to finally be attached to my T. Because I know that it will be a huge step for me.

What I personally experienced in therapy was not so much attachment to the T, but an addictive-type preoccupation with the whole therapy thing, the self examination, trying to understand the whole process. As far as interpersonal domain, I felt a strong connection with my last T, which felt pleasant and it definitely increased my motivation to go to sessions. I am not sure about the therapeutic benefit of it though - for me it felt very similar to what I often experience with friends or work colleagues that I like, not unique or special at all. I never worked on anything related to attachment in therapy though.

Thanks for the responses! I don't think I have attachment issues. I actually get attached to people and have abandonment issues. I don't feel that way towards my therapist. She could quit and I'd be fine with someone else.

[Elio]

Originally Posted by zoiecat

I would be curious to know what is the correlation between outside contact and attachment to your therapist. From what I read here it seems like sometimes therapist are not doing their clients any favors by continuing to allow all the outside contact. It seems to only perpetuate the need for more contact or more distress by not receiving the intended response. I don't know I'm just curious.

My T allows outside contact. There was a long period of time where not receiving a response in a short period of time or receiving a response that didn't sound just so would cause distress and grief. I have noticed over the last 3 months or more, this has shifted. Sometimes her response time is minutes, sometimes more than 8 hours. Even when I have been looking for it, I am not in distress that it hasn't come in. At the moment, I have faith and belief that one will be coming and that she'll be doing her best to address my concerns. It is an interesting place to be having gone through the more intense periods.

[stopdog]

Originally Posted by zoiecat

I would be curious to know what is the correlation between outside contact and attachment to your therapist. From what I read here it seems like sometimes therapist are not doing their clients any favors by continuing to allow all the outside contact. It seems to only perpetuate the need for more contact or more distress by not receiving the intended response. I don't know I'm just curious.

I was not attached to either of the therapists I saw recently - but one gave out email and cell phone and the other gave out cell phone info for outside contact. They exhibited excessive and possibly exaggerated enthusiasm when I contacted them. Once after a motorcycle accident, the second one expressed dismay that I did not call her. I don't know what she could have done or why I would have called her, but nonetheless, she said that it was something clients do.

[Teddy Bear]

Nothing is wrong with you some people just don't get attached to their T.

[Thalassophile]

Originally Posted by TheSadGirl

Am I the only one who has absolutely no attachment to their therapist? Mine is wonderful and does a great job, but if she stopped seeing me tomorrow I wouldn't care. This therapist is relatively new to me, but I was the same way with my last therapist. Seeing a lot of posts on here I feel odd that I have no emotional attachment.

How long have you been seeing the current t and how long did you see your last t? It took me well over a year to form an attachment to my t and now it is very strong. Before that, it wouldn't have bothered me if we stopped abruptly except for the money and time I had invested in him. Now, however, I would be heartbroken if it were to end suddenly. I wish I hadn't formed the attachment as it can be very painful but after learning about my developmental trauma and attachment style recently it seems like it was almost inevitable and seems like a year was even a long time for it to take.

Not everyone gets attached though totally normal especially if you don't have attachment issues. Do you know your attachment style? e.g Secure, avoidant?