Zero attachment

For the last few months when I have been in town I have seen my standby therapist every week. She is one of the nicest people you can meet and she does common sense therapy. She is in her seventies and keeps at it because she loves what she does. If a person only has ten dollars to pay her it is not an issue. As much as I like her and as helpful as she is to me I am not attached to her. If she told me next week she is retiring I would be sad for just a moment, and then happy thinking about all that I accomplished with her. I struggled with attachment issues with 2/6 therapist, but the first one with before attachment issues became a therapy thing.

People here say that the same patterns play out with everyone, but that has not been true with me.

I've learned over the years that my attachment issues play out differently with different people, different therapists. I have rejected therapists who need me/clients (and I can tell right away), but get 'attached' to those who have a blank slate stance where they enact emotional distance. Although both of my parents were emotionally unavailable, this behavior is related to the dynamics surrounding my relationship with my father.

I had several therapists before my attachment manifested with another. When this happened, it was more than unsettling. Imo, you never know how things will happen with a different therapist. For some of us, I think each dyad is characterized by individual psychodynamics.

That's so bizarre. I could see calling my therapist if I were hospitalized for a mental health reason, but I would not even think of calling my therapist for a car accident or something similar. I guess if I would miss a session because of it I'd call the front desk. But calling her just because of the accident... what could she say or do that would help?

Annie... if I were to be in a car accident I would guess probably definitely call my therapist that is why I initially went there for to get over the fear of driving after almost being killed in a car accident. Through EMDR I also realize that it caused additional distress because of my need to not rely on other people after the accident. I don't like asking for help or relying on other people I don't trust other people and it causes me to dissociate. So I guess it just depends on the situation but for me a car accident would be a huge trigger and reason to call my therapist and he would totally understand why. I also guess it depends on the seriousness of the accident. In my case I broke my neck amongst other things so it was pretty serious.

I've had 3 T's, 2 women and 1 guy (current one, been with him just over a year). I'm female. I didn't/haven't attached to any of them over the years. I do have attachment issues with people (I really don't like people), so I never thought about it that this would play into a therapy role. Interesting.

I did not believe I had attachment issues.I prefer to speak in terms of attachment style. I had an avoidant attachment style because I feared abandonment. This played out in many of my relationships and employment. I had friends and family relationships, but they were very void or superficial. With some therapist I played the game of I will abandon you first, before you get a chance to abandon me. Others I liked, but had no deep connection with them that would affect me outside of session. Attachment therapy helped me to change my pattern of how I experience the world and I don't fear abandonment anymore.

I meant no harm by the word issues. I use that for everything going on in my head. :-)

Thank you for sharing this. For me my abandonment issues are part of borderline personality disorder and I'm in DBT therapy for it. Hoping to put it behind me.

I don’t have a therapist but if I did, I would have no attachment. It is not odd. It is just having professional boundries. You can be nice to someone without having any attachment.

I am hopelessly attached with my therapist and its pretty painful to say the least!

I am happy that you used the words ssues. What I was trying to say is that I had attachment issues , but did not know it or at least what my issues were called. I'm so sorry if I misunderstood you.

Good luck to you.

I re-read and I had misread. Sorry about that. I just try not to upset anyone.

I had therapists I wasn't really attached to. Problem was, I wouldn't open up with them.
But, I think many people do not get attached and can achieve great results in therapy. I don't think one has to be attached. A friend of mine went thru therapy, and for her, that was a very professional thing. No attachment. She benefited a lot, then ended it like a business relationship.
I guess its all very individual.