[confused_77]

I often get stuck in therapy when trying to articulate my thoughts...more often then not to be honest and then I feel so self-consious about not being able to express how I feel or what I want to stay. This leads to silence and me not being able to say anything at all. the therapist just waits and I hate the wait because instead of it giving me time to think and put my thoughts together I get even more nervous. I understand that its logical of her to give me a bit of time but it never ever works, I get so nervous and uncomfortable when she doesn't say anything. Does such type of silence bother anyone? It would work much better for me if she just talked about anything instead of remaining silent with the full attention being all on me.

[Anastasia~]

Confused--
Tell your T exactly what you wrote here. I suspect she will understand. Anxiety can cause people to have difficulty articulating a thought.

My therapist gives me a moment to answer and if I can't, she asks a different but related and usually easier question. We tackle it one step at a time. Silence bothers me as well.

[dlantern]

I'd game plan, it mostly starts with what else can you share. Being a good therapist I would fill the time unless there is some other information to consider. I think you neeed to be bold and consider what you need to share.

[Elio]

My T allows me the silence. Mostly only for a certain amount of time. There have been very few times but there have been some, where she's let the silence go on. Usually these are when I am angry and refusing to talk because of trying to control my anger. Otherwise, after a few moments if I have not shaken myself clear of whatever, she'll make a comment about it being hard to talk about, and we'll often talk a little bit about why I'm struggling to talk about something - like I can't seem to find the right word, or the thoughts are moving too quickly/shifting too quickly.

[NP_Complete]

I think it can also depend on your relationship with your therapist. Yesterday, I went to see a substitute therapist while mine is on vacation. We ran into some silence because I said something that was an emotional land mine for me and sometimes I have to just quit talking so I can rein my emotions back in to a comfortable level. The silence there was torturous. With my regular therapist, sitting in silence seems okay most of the time. But it wasn't that way at the beginning. As I felt more connected to him, it became more comfortable to sit in silence.

I like what somebody said about giving you a moment and then rephrasing the question. That seems like a good way to help you talk through whatever it is you're having difficulty expressing.

[fille_folle]

Yes, yes, yes. I am the same. My thoughts just fly out of my head and I can't express myself. I say a bit, then I'm unable to continue. I'm like a deer in the headlights. My mind goes completely blank... so we sit in silence until my T finally gives up and says something minutes later. Even if I work up the courage to shoot her a quick glance, she usually doesn't say anything.

I don't know how to get around this. For me, it's become a problem irl, as well, mostly when I'm trying to write papers for school.

For T, the only thing that has helped has been writing things for her to read. That way, I'm able to convey some information in a reliable way. She then asks me specific questions, which I find easier than open ended queries. Sometimes I still have trouble, but I always take the time to write and reflect about each session. That gives me material for information I still need to convey in another session.

[blueoceanandsky]

I'm okay w silence when it happens now - she doesn't wait forever tho - she'll usually eventually ask me what I'm thinking.