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  #1  
Old Jan 03, 2018, 05:59 PM
Anonymous45141
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Have you ever intentionally not shown up to a session without telling your T?

Perhaps out of anger or anxiety etc?

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  #2  
Old Jan 03, 2018, 06:02 PM
Anonymous54545
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Yes. Only once because I felt awful afterward. I was angry at how close she was getting to things so I just skipped. It only made it 10 times harder to go back the following week.
  #3  
Old Jan 03, 2018, 06:04 PM
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No. I pay out of pocket and would owe for it, not to mention it could come across as trying to worry the therapist and/or test them to see how they respond. So, not a winning move.
  #4  
Old Jan 03, 2018, 06:06 PM
RaineD RaineD is offline
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No, too rude and inconsiderate.

I did fail to show up once because I got the time wrong.
  #5  
Old Jan 03, 2018, 06:14 PM
stopdog stopdog is offline
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No. I cancelled a lot but I always gave notice.
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  #6  
Old Jan 03, 2018, 06:16 PM
Tbhimscared Tbhimscared is offline
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I’ve really thought about not showing up to test the reaction and see what happens but I’ve been too afraid and scared of the chance that’s T might not react at all really and carry on as usual
Thanks for this!
MRT6211
  #7  
Old Jan 03, 2018, 06:29 PM
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Nammu Nammu is offline
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No,
.........
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  #8  
Old Jan 03, 2018, 06:47 PM
kecanoe kecanoe is offline
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I have definitely considered it. For a bunch of reasons: to show that I was mad, to assert independence, to see how they would respond, to "show them".

I have never actually done that, though. I don't want to pay for the missed session (I think I would have had to pay half). I also feel like it might become a power struggle, and for me the reality is that they have all the power. So why rub that in?
Thanks for this!
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  #9  
Old Jan 03, 2018, 06:53 PM
Fernwehxx Fernwehxx is offline
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Nope.

I don't understand what I could gain from that. If there's an issue, id talk about it. Plus, I wouldn't pay the fee for no-show.
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  #10  
Old Jan 03, 2018, 07:02 PM
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AllHeart AllHeart is offline
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No, never intentionally. I have ADD and dyslexia so I sometimes get the days and times mixed up and have unintentionally missed appointments. Three times with my p-doc, once with my t. I felt terrible for wasting their time due to the accidental mistakes. If I did it intentionally, I'd feel even worse. Besides, to do it as a test wouldn't be worth the stress and worry it would cause me. As others have said, it would just make going back a heck of a lot harder.
  #11  
Old Jan 03, 2018, 07:03 PM
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No , and I talked to him about why I wouldn't intentionally do it , but it's happened when things have been out of my control. If feelings of wanting to do this arise then talking about them is good - I feel anxious or misunderstood or what it may be.
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  #12  
Old Jan 03, 2018, 07:14 PM
Anonymous47147
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No. I have no desire to manipulate other people.
  #13  
Old Jan 03, 2018, 07:50 PM
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LesFleursDuMal LesFleursDuMal is offline
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No. I think it would be extremely disrespectful and rude and I don’t see myself doing that to him on purpose knowing that he might be worried about me. If it did happen one day it would be because I’m in a really bad state of mind and not to make him pay for anything. And I’d be too afraid to make him mad at me or make him loose his trust in me (actually I don’t even know if he trusts me) and I’d be too afraid to not be able to come back.
  #14  
Old Jan 03, 2018, 07:56 PM
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No. I always show up to my appointments early.
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  #15  
Old Jan 03, 2018, 07:59 PM
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No.....why would anyone do that? I hope it wasn't to "punish" your therapist.
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When a child’s emotional needs are not met and a child is repeatedly hurt and abused, this deeply and profoundly affects the child’s development. Wanting those unmet childhood needs in adulthood. Looking for safety, protection, being cherished and loved can often be normal unmet needs in childhood, and the survivor searches for these in other adults. This can be where survivors search for mother and father figures. Transference issues in counseling can occur and this is normal for childhood abuse survivors.
  #16  
Old Jan 03, 2018, 08:03 PM
Anonymous46969
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No. I wanted to established a safe, trusting place to get better. My T in turn has never cancelled. Twice he has had to reschedule with two hour notice as he was testifying in court. We respect each other work & time.
  #17  
Old Jan 03, 2018, 08:05 PM
toomanycats toomanycats is offline
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No, never. With ExT -- Thought about it - told him I thought about it - that I had the urge because I wanted to somehow hurt him like I was feeling he was hurting me. But then I also knew it wouldn't hurt him. Because he didn't need me like I needed him.
  #18  
Old Jan 03, 2018, 08:12 PM
MRT6211 MRT6211 is offline
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I’m with many here, I’ve definitely thought about it, but never have done it because I know it would only make everything way worse for me. And then the person I’d want to talk to about it would be T...

I’m in a day treatment program thing right now, and recently I missed a few days because I was out of town for the holidays, and one of the Ts in the program called me after the second day I missed trying to figure out why I wasn’t there (apparently the message wasn’t relayed to her that I’d be missing). I do have to say that felt good to know it was noticed that I wasn’t there.
  #19  
Old Jan 03, 2018, 08:18 PM
Anonymous43207
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No. But I've considered it before. The only reason I didn't was because I would get charged for it and I pay out of pocket.
  #20  
Old Jan 03, 2018, 08:25 PM
starfishing starfishing is offline
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I suppose it depends on what you mean by intentionally--I knowingly no-showed without canceling many times many years ago, but it was because I was too deeply, non-functionally depressed to call and tell her I wasn't coming, not because I didn't want to go or wanted to annoy/frustrate my therapist.

I've never no-showed on my current therapist, or any of the other ones I've seen in the past 10 years or so, though I've definitely cut it close in the past with cancellations in ways that in retrospect were probably some form of "acting out."
  #21  
Old Jan 03, 2018, 09:16 PM
SoConfused623 SoConfused623 is offline
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No, never, just not my M. O. but definitely tempting at times!
  #22  
Old Jan 03, 2018, 09:44 PM
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No, never. This isn’t something I’d ever do.
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  #23  
Old Jan 04, 2018, 01:50 AM
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Nope. Passive-aggressive behaviors really irk me, so I am always mindful of not slipping into them myself.
  #24  
Old Jan 04, 2018, 01:55 AM
Anonymous59090
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Coming up tails View Post
Have you ever intentionally not shown up to a session without telling your T?

Perhaps out of anger or anxiety etc?
Felt like doing it. But I honour my half our working contract to not at least tell her.
  #25  
Old Jan 04, 2018, 03:19 AM
Amyjay Amyjay is offline
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I feel like no-showing to my next appointment. But
1. I know it is a feeling that will pass
2. I know I would deeply and awfully regret it
3. that would mean I would have no support for a whole other week!
4. I would be so embarrassed to return
5. Other parts of me would be deeply distressed
6. I "know" that no-showing would be the exact opposite of what I truly need.

I have felt like no-showing many many times but I have only ever done it once by honest mistake.
Thanks for this!
SalingerEsme
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