[MissCharlotte]

This morning as I was driving to work I had to stop for a school bus and witnessed a loving scene. A mom and a A little girl about 7 years old were in the driveway. As the little girl got on to the bus, her mom stood there waving goodbye. The little girl was wearing a skirt and knee highs and had a backpack. She looked so proud. Her mom waved and then turned around to walk back up the driveway.

I was jealous of the little girl and felt wistful. I would have loved to experience that moment with my mother. I thought about T and imagined him waving goodbye to me. And then I thought about T in the context of our current relationship and how every week, when I leave he says, "Have a good week." I love that he says that. It makes me feel like he cares.

What's your favorite thing that T says to you?

[sunrise]

sister, great idea for a thread. Here are a few of mine:

"I'm all ears." He says this while waiting for me to introduce a topic or elaborate on something I've kind of shyly brought up.

"Therapist for hire" or "Therapist at your service." He says this sometimes at the beginning of our sessions while waiting patiently for me to bring up whatever it is I want to talk about that day.

"Share a hug?" He said this to me a couple of weeks ago at the end of a very intense and emotional session.

"I hold you in my heart." He's only said this once, but I will never forget it.

[tsha]

Early in our relationship, I was telling my t if she gives me one book to read I will read it plus 3 more, as we were discussing how I like to intellectualize and control everything ... she told me "oh don't worry about that, I'll call your ***** on it everytime". And she has. I knew we would get along.
I usually get a "get over here for a hug" at the end of our session.

It pretty much changes every week, lol. So currently my favorite thing is what he said today.

He said, "What do you want most in here?"

And I said, "I want every session to be like the couch session."

And then I went on to talk about how sometimes I feel like it was harder on him that day than it was on me...because even though what happened on the couch was so scary I felt so safe and taken care of afterwards.

And then he said,

(this is the part where it is my favorite thing)

"Maybe because we calmed each other down that day."

I loved that.

[sunrise]

Oh, I remembered a really important one I have heard from him a number of times. And that I love.

"I am a healer." (shaman vibes....)

Sometimes this is proceeded by his denying he's a therapist, as in, "I'm not a therapist, I'm a healer." I effing love that.

I guess part of what I "hear" when he says that is, "to hell with the therapy books and my degree in psychology, I want to heal you, and I'm going to, therapy be damned. I'm doing what's best for you." I absolutely love him for, first and foremost, wanting to heal me.

Sunrise,
"Therapist for hire."? -- I ABSOLUTELY love that one!! It's hillarious!!

[ECHOES]

Well, nothing special, really.. but sometimes when she's letting a period of silence happen (which I love that she does) and things start brewing in my mind but I can't get them from there to my mouth via words, she'll just so very very gently and sweetly and so quietly ask "What are you thinking about?". It's caring and it's welcoming and it's usually helpful.

She also keeps encouraging me to 'sit with the process' and to 'not give up on the process' when I'm having hard times going there, being there, being anywhere.

Actually, truth is she could read the phone book to me and that would become my favorite thing.

Last week, I had a late appointment, 8pm. I like evening appointments and it was dark by the time we finished. She turned to her desk to check her appointment book as we're finally getting to a regular time since her time has been a little out of whack since her time off for surgery. So my new regular time is 8pm. Anyway, her desk is right up against a large picutre window that looks out to an area with trees (once, in session, right in the middle of this window, a window that looks like a portrait of "green" for it's many shades of green, we saw a beautiful bright red cardinal! it was a gorgeous sight, this bright red in the center of the green square!). So, as she was turned half-way away from me, writing at her desk, I could see her reflection in the darkened nightime window. It was just a joy to look at her, watch her, without her looking back. It was nice to have that freedom of just watching and enjoying. I hope that doesn't sound weird and I'm sorry I rambled on so long!

[Mouse_]

"oh My god I love you mouse" Nah not really LOL

[MissCharlotte]

Echoes, no ramble. Your images were awesome (both the Cardinal and T's reflection). I felt that way once when I watched T walking to his car. He didn't see me but I saw him and I loved just watching him walk.

All, I thought of another favorite.

Sometimes when I am reaching way deep inside and I have something to tell T, it gets so quiet in the room. Everything feels still and frozen in the moment. I think this is because at these moments I am reaaching the true sister, not just the surface one. During these moments, just after I say whatever it is I am saying, T responds with an ever so soft and barely audible, "Yes." It is so affirming.

Others: "Sister, you have to take care of yourself." {When I first began therapy I didn't even know what this meant.]

"What do you need right now?" [I love this one too, it really helps me settle into me.]

[Perna]

"It's not like that." I loved that hint because it meant I could let go of how I thought of whatever it was and look for a better way of seeing/understanding. I trusted my T's reality-testing better than mine so it didn't bother me when I was wrong and she told me, that was helpful.

echoes post reminded me of a moment i had with a t who i saw years ago now... she was very special to me. we would do mindfulness exercises to finish up the session. for three minutes. i guess i did them but she didn't really, because she needed to time the three minutes. one time... i had my eyes closed... and i was feeling pain. kind of quietly sitting with it. and at one point i opened my eyes a little and looked over to her. and she was watching me. and she had the kindest expression on her face and a gentle smile. and... i couldn't believe it. i always thought if she looked at me when nobody knew that she was that there would be disgust on her face. but that she managed to mask that when people (or when i) knew that she was looking at me. but she didn't look like that. and it was so beautiful that i wanted to cry.

sorry. that wasn't even words. but it is a moment i've held onto ever since.

except... i still can't look and i don't like being looked at. not in therapy.

[bipolar_bear]

alex in so many ways those are wonderful "words". I can understand how great that made you feel.

BB

[Fuzzybear]

What are your favourite T comments?

[Fuzzybear]

"You're a survivor"

"she requires sensitive handling"... re me

"little lucy......"

"I don't feel any of those bad things......."

"You're honest and forthright"

"I think "personality" issues can be helped"

"we can let the bee out of the room......"

"learn from the ostriches"

"she (ie me) is clearly an intelligent girl, but her background can only be described as disturbed...."

"the stepmother is appalling....."

[LittleMouse]

I like this thread! Here are a couple of mine that I remember the most:

Me to therapist: "you would be one of five people I would love to meet again in heaven"
Therapist: "I'll be looking for you!"

Me to therapist: " thank you for letting me love you, it means a lot"
Therapist: " No problems cause I love you too!"

Me to therapist: " Sometimes I love being here in your office, I feel so safe."
Therapist: " I always want to make a safe place for you to come and just be,"

[Fuzzybear]

Wow, I've never seen a T who did or would say either of the first two....

Good to hear that they do exist!!

I think I like the third comment the most (no T has said that to me either, but one of them might, on a good day)

...

[LittleMouse]

Fuzzy, trust me on a really bad day I go over those statements in my mind to help me feel better. I have a great therapist and I know that he really loves and cares about me even when I don't love and care about myself sometimes. His words stick in my mind and help me through the bad times.

[Fuzzybear]

Oh I just remembered the best one, lol.

T and I were talking about my... let's say... more wild days. I was telling him about this guy I was dating, but I was really only doing it because I was extremely attracted to him, but pretty much couldn't stand him otherwise. I started making myself feel guilty, saying I was a horrible person for doing that and T goes,

"You're a horrible person for %#@&#! some guy that you were attracted to?"

And I breathed a sigh of relief. It was the 1st time that I truly felt that it was ok... that I really could tell him stuff.

[tsha]

I won't let you leave here until you're OK.

[MissCharlotte]

just thought of another moment when I called him and was so distressed and worried about my son, he said

"Sister, whatever it is we will get through it together." I felt so supported.

Another favorite:

"We will integrate the rest in increments we can manage."

I guess whenever he says we I feel good.

[bluebutterfly]

"Hear my voice. Hear my voice and remember i'm with you."

Holy crap!!


Peace

[kebsfroggy]

From Pdoc: "The only reason I don't dial 911 every time you walk into my office is because just a couple of days in the hospital won't do you any good."

From T after explaining I had lost my memory: "Well how long have you been treated for depression?"

[WinterRose]

From pdoc after just about every phone call: "Take care."

I also love his energy and excitement. I especially loved his excitement for my starting school - it was tangable - he asked to see my books! I was almost giggly. It was like I had been given permission to be excited for myself. I love that memory.

OH WINTERROSE, YOU JUST MADE ME THINK OF MY FAVORITE!!!

No really, this is it!

T: Tell me about your internship.
Me: Well, what do you want to know?
T: Everything.

Ahhhhhh. That really just sums it all up. I still get all warm inside when I think of that one.