Couch 161: The Hexagonal Pyramidal Couch

So true!!!!!

Awwwwwww!

I have not posted here in a very long time but I come and read, and I just wanted to wish you the best with your situation. It rings very familiar to me, as a couple of weeks ago my car broke down and then the next day my father was hospitalized with an infection that also went septic, so I very much empathize with you. My car was fixed and my father has recovered and things are better now, even though in the moment I felt very overwhelmed and also questioned if things were my fault. I hope your car is good now and your husband is back home and things stabilize very soon.

If somebody offers me help and I don't want to take it, because I believe in the work I am currently doing to heal...does that make me a bad person?

Of course not. One is not obligated to accept an offer of anything. Why would one be?

Hi. I lurk here.
I took my 14 y.o son to his first t appt today. So different to see depression from the outside. Son asked me to join him in the session - to help him get started. I'm not yet sure about this t (e.g., t was conflating SH and sui ideation, and referred to birth parents as son's parents - although he's been my son since birth) but my son is eager to go back. Son even chose am 7am start time for his next appt!

Is he going to be weird about you giving him a gift? I know some therapists are.

It should help a lot that he wants to go...much better than having to try to force him. And the birth parent thing would bother me too.

I've just realized that filing taxes when your spouse is in prison and there is a no-contact order is going to be troublesome. How am I supposed to get him to sign the return? How am I supposed to know if he's earned any money in there? If I file as married filing separately, it's going to cost me a lot of money. I really don't need this right now. Any suggestions? Can I contact him through a lawyer? Google hasn't been super helpful so far.

But gynos aren’t you know making you feel reaaaaaaally special and go on about how they also feel all these reaaaaally special special feelings about you and whatnot.

(Or maybe not? I don’t think I’ve been to a gyno in the last....decade).

Are you in the process of getting a divorce NP? Is there a tax helpline you could call?

I know I get attached easily but's always the little things that add up for me.It's not just words for me.

Wonder if you could get a notary public or someone like that to take them to him in prison. Or is there a mutual friend who could take them to him or something?

So, maybe it's just that I'm a good teasing target for therapists...Since T was teasing me about a thing or two today...Maybe we've just hit the "comfortable enough to tease each other" stage of the therapeutic relationship.

Example: I was wearing distressed jeans with a couple holes in them (not showing much skin, around knees--they were the only ones I had clean!) When I sat down, T said, "Have things gotten so bad that there are holes in your jeans?" I replied, "I'm just being stylish!" Then commented how D would say, "There's a hole in Mommy's pants!" when I'd wear them.

We also sort of made fun of MC at one point (just a joke about his height--both he and T are short, but T is maybe 2 inches taller than MC).

Can you talk to a domestic violence advocate about your options? Maybe they can send someone to have him sign the form, or it could be that it's worth the cost to file separately and not have to interact with him at all, even through a third party.

Before you wrote this, I was thinking this would be an interesting poll. I don't think I've ever had a therapist tease me about anything, especially not about what I wear.

That would be a good poll, I think... I think the thing today was just him joking with me--maybe he could tell I was nervous and trying to lighten the mood? Like this didn't feel like flirting at all.

Well they just moved h off the observation floor up to the top (5th) floor and took him off the IV meds, and now he's taking oral meds only. They're going to keep him Tonite still and if all goes well he goes home tomorrow. So relieved!! Thanks you guys for your support the last couple days.

Glad to hear that, Art!

I meant that they each PROBE deeply into their respective... uh... subject areas, which we as clients dont usually make available to the general public, but may make available to an intimate partner.

You knew what i meant! Didnt you?

A few times, my dear t teased me and got me all flustered, cuz i did think it meant he was really in love with me. As i explained it to him, "I can tease you, because i have no power, but you cant tease me, because transference / im afraid the parents meant it." But as he explained it to me, "i thought we knew each other well enough, youre a kidder, im a kidder. But thats okay, i dont have to do it." I kinda miss it, but i know i cant handle it. I dont let that PART take over?

I was in a similar position to you last year, NP. It was very much worth not contacting him to file separately, as rr suggests. And it actually didn’t cost me very much money at all.

I would think that you could contact him through a lawyer for tax purposes. There must be lots of other people who have gone through this, so there must be some way to do it. Is there legal aid or a domestic violence office near you? I don't know if DV applies to your situation, but I would think that someone who specializes in that would be familiar enough with that kind of situation to able to advise you.

Whew. Did they say what the deal was with the sweating/fever?

It makes you a person who is making thoughtful independent decisions about your own care.