Couch 161: The Hexagonal Pyramidal Couch

As a cashier, I've had many customers tell me their woes and life stories. It's kind of like they see me as a blank slate person to share their troubles with. To be honest I find it awkward, but I am an awkward person anyway

*scribbles these down furiously for the next time a therapist tries that line on her*

Though they’re not really responses to the other line I detest, “I’m only human.”

I completely agree. Because it suggests he doesn't believe he actually did whatever it was. As H said when I was discussing the session with him last night, couldn't MC have just been human about it, instead of being all therapist-y? If he truly cares about me, shouldn't he care about hurting me? He seems to care more about not taking the blame and not admitting fault than about making it right and making me feel better...

"But, you're supposed to be an EDUCATED human."

As I am grufeling, this kinda made my morning.

morning, couchies. (or evening?) well after i stopped eating cheetos with my lunch on Monday, and started really getting serious eating healthier on Wednesday, it was a pretty successful week on that front, and the scale was my friend this morning. I've lost 5 lbs, granted most of that is probably water weight or whatever, but still it's a good motivator to see that number on the scale again instead of what i saw earlier in the week, which was my all-time highest ever. I got so angry, you guys. I guess anger can be a good thing if you can harness it and use it.

I'm sharing this cuz I'm also challenging myself to not let this weight loss thing become so all-consuming. in the past when i've lost weight, i've let it take over my life worse than therapy did. i'd become absolutely all-consumed with calories/food, exercise, water... it was like i could not focus or think or talk about anything else and i got very annoying to my family.

So this time I'm trying to just add being aware, mindful, whatever, of my food intake and body movement into how i'm becoming more mindful of my feelings/emotions and stuff. So PLEASE if I start posting about nothing but losing weight, somebody tell me k? A simple "stop it" a la Bob Newhart will be welcome if I do! Thank you all in advance.

Lanspresado fits me most of the time. Today is a toss up between slugabed and your grufeling.

Thanks for the link!

ooh ooh! I'll use one in a sentence!

"I had dysania every day this week."

Great find. Thanks.

My h is an ultracrepidarian.

Art I'm the same when I diet. It consumes me and I hate it. I've never successfully lost (or kept off) weight, and for it to consume every moment and every thought like it always has is just too much of an investment. I'm rooting for you!

The couch already revived callypigian or whatever! And i knew slugabed probably from an Alcott book. I love frobly-mobly!

Eta - ugh my aunt called me a couple of days ago. She used a couple of expressions that were exactly my mother's, regarding money. She also told me how much she weighed. I think im gonna change my voicemail message and just never answer my phone again. Shes not lonely, she has about a million grandchildren and starting on the greats. I dont need to sacrifice myself to her.

I have my phone permanently set on Do-Not-Disturb + caller ID is a beautiful thing.

(If your family's any like mine) The trick it seems is to let it sink into their minds that you're not paying attention -- any attention (+ve or -ve) is what they feed off of.

So, ignoring is the absolute worst hell-is-nigh thing you could do in their minds.

Hence. Do it.

My person used slugabed all the time (usually when she was trying to get me up- the perils of a night owl being with a morning person)

I’m pretty sure kakistocracy has already made a comeback. (As has ochlocracy.)

Congrats Art! 5lbs is an awesome start.

Yeah, I thought I’d come across kakistocracy (which my iPhone is now convinced is a wrong spelling and in a very authoritarian way doesn’t easily let me move on) some place. Not ochlocracy though..

I'm super tempted to say this to a higher-up in response to what I think is grossly unfair crap at work.

I know it's a terrible idea and so just putting it out here, so I won't blurt it out in reality.

I think the ultimate reality is that fairness has very little to do with how the world runs or how people innately act or respond. It is sort of like the realization that justice has very little to do with law. And of course what is fair or just to one is not necessarily universal.
Of course, I view almost everything in terms of relativity - so there is that skewing my sensibilities.

(((Awk))) didja ever notice...?

My gosling has mentioned how his elder son (elder - age 2!) LOVES Thomas the Train Engine. So i watched it the other day, and im like, isnt it very... um... phallic? Like with a smiley face on it? But i didnt say anything.

Thomas... my son used to love that whole series. I'll never forget we gave him his first couple Thomas train engines (Thomas and I forget the red one's name) for his birthday one year along with a bunch of track and he fell asleep that night clutching one engine in each little hand. Sniff sniff. Such a sweet little boy. He's still there somewhere inside the goateed 19 year old that took his place...

Kleptocracy is all the rage these days.

Speaking of rage...so heartening to attend our city's march today, even bigger than last year.

Government shut down here in the US means h goes without a paycheck.. our only source of income since I went back to school. I have this knot in my stomach all day, worrying about how bad off we will be if h doesn’t get paid on time. Really hope our elected officials can get their **** together.

I 'never' drink alcohol anymore, maybe a little 3 or 4 times a year. I don't drink because it makes me psychotic, or atleast more un-stable.

I did tonight, not much, though.

It makes me numb to my defence, my control. I see things in a different way.

I know many drink to numb their reality, I don't because the opposite- it lower my defence.

I am a resilient one, to a degree my former psychiatrist wonder how was possible. Almost hyperthermic.
I see why.
I am in a period of seeing my life in a different way now.

I am weird, and alone, and feel sad when my defence is gone.
I have no reason to, seen from a 'normal' point of view. From my view, I have.

I hide inside, I am resilient.

I am a bit drunk. I should keep my mouth quiet. I am about to surrender, and let them diagnose me.
Something I have struggled with for over twenty years, but kept inside and controlled (until I got hospitalized last year, no longer able to control it myself) so not to embarass my family.

I am sorry.
I feel at home here, even without writing much.

I hope they do and that he will get paid on time.

sad about your H, but LOL at this sentence. yeah effing right.

**off my pedestal**