Couch 161: The Hexagonal Pyramidal Couch

Was it Zig Ziglar who said, "Logic can't change an emotion, but action can"?

By the way, I've reached my goal weight.

I predict: the expression "drank the kool-aid" will be replaced by "ate the gummy-bears".

Ive been googling the tv show my 600 lb life. There was a woman whose goal was to become the guinness fattest woman.

What is that authors credentialz??

I doubt he ever got anyone to eat his gummy bears...

There's a liquid, too--I suggest the NOW brand. It's quite tart--drinking a serving is a bit like doing a shot. But in a good way?

Call tonight with MC generally went well. He'd initially said he could do 15 minutes, but ended up spending an hour on the phone with us. He seemed to really listen to what I said, to what was upsetting me, and responded to that. He initially seemed resistant to doing any apologies beyond, "If I did x, I'm sorry for that," but then apologized more. He seemed to get it, what was bothering me, and that's really thing biggest thing. Took him some time to get there, so I'm glad he hung in there so long and seemed to keep an open mind.

Note: This doesn't mean I'm going to get all attached to him again. More that I just won't be in such an awful state since Friday's session, where I had trouble eating and sleeping and coping with life in general (like having a huge panic attack during work).

Still glad I'm seeing T on Thursday...

That guy can't keep any boundary he sets.

I'm guessing you're referring to the 15 minutes? Yeah... And it's funny, in the text, he'd said 8:30, which to me worked because we did our daughter's shower at 8. So...what time does he call? 8 p.m. I was like, "Uh, you said 8:30." MC: "I did?" "Yeah, this doesn't work because it's D's shower time, then bedtime." MC: "Oh, sorry, I'm not at the office, don't have schedule in front of me. I'll call back at 8:30." The one time he's early....

Also, just checked my phone--call was 1 hour, 11 minutes...

Hey, if you've some advice on coping with emotional abuse, think this teen from France can use some advice and kind words.

https://forums.psychcentral.com/showthread.php?t=505261

I'm more familiar with physical hitting and am still under the thumb of my parents emotionally. Maybe some of you who've escaped have some words for this young person?

Art, I hope your H recovers soon

Hugs. I read posts on the couch, in session, dear T no matter how long... it helps me feel less alone somehow

T sometimes debates with me. About my self harm. I say it helps, she doesn't agree. Last round she rather deflatedly went "OK if you feel it's helpful and not unhelpful. I'll never agree" and we agreed to disagree.

Of course it helps or we wouldn't do it. That's why it's called a coping mechanism. Because it helps us cope.

Yeah! T says there are "slower but better" ways and wants me to stop SH. For me, I appreciate the things she has taught me which have expanded my "toolkit" but refuse to remove SH from my "toolkit". She gets pretty frustrated and we debate every time she brings it up.

Sounds like a fancy way of saying therapists should talk to clients like they're thinking people. Go figure.

I am up late with a grumpy teen who has to finish his homework.

I told him I have emails to answer (which was true when I sat down) so I'd keep him company while he finished, but I've been done for a while. I really want to go to sleep, but he's struggling so much right now in general, not just with homework, that it's more important to just be here with him.

A little complaint: I am SO tired, worn out, from being there and holding things for everyone else. I know it's needed. I know...can see...that the family is beginning to find peace and stability, and it's worth holding the line for my boys. I know things are not going to change in the near future, but it won't last forever. I'm just weary, and feeling whiny about it tonight.

Oh, he finished and wants help summarizing what he read. Whew.

Thank you. That is very much what happened.

I love this- so well said. This puts into words the belief I lost along the way. Thank you!

Nope. That was someone else.

If T has a better coping mechanism, let's hear it.

Congrats CE on getting to your target weight

I am supposed to get to know this part, the one that blocks things by saying 'why are we doing this? What good will it do?' But i hate interacting with it. It doesnt seem to want to give up any information about itself or what its purpose is. It wont let me get to the other parts. Maybe we have to deal with the other parts we have met already. I wish my T let me have between session contact.

Maybe it's a protector. In schema therapy, I've a "detached protector" which cuts off emotions so ill feel completely emotionally numb. Also an "angry protector" who's angry with my "healthy adult" part and child parts, and often at T.