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  #551  
Old Feb 10, 2018, 10:36 PM
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NP_Complete NP_Complete is offline
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What's really upsetting to me right now is that my brain has apparently been making things up and inserting things that didn't happen into my memory. This is what made my last therapy session so awful. My therapist reprimanded me for an email I sent. (This happened last month.) I remember him standing in front of me saying it was unacceptable. I sent him an email asking him to please sit down if he was angry about something. I said I had been triggered because my husband used to loom over me and yell and berate and physically threaten me. As it turns out, he wasn't standing up when this happened. My brain made the whole thing up. Now I feel like I can't trust my own reality. Which memories are true? I don't know. It's a terrible feeling to start second guessing all your thoughts and memories.

My therapist said something about this is a sign of a traumatized mind. But honestly, I just feel completely defective right now.
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  #552  
Old Feb 10, 2018, 10:37 PM
maybeblue maybeblue is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NP_Complete View Post
I wish it was as easy to discount his words for me as it is for outsiders. He had years to wiggle his way into my brain. And objectively speaking, he has had way more friends than I have. All of my friends, for the most part, were friends through him.
Number of friends is not the same as quality of friends. Charming, but superficial people (like psychopaths) tend to make friends very easily.

I can totally understand that you would have trouble discounting what he said to you though. Somehow it seems that negative stuff just sinks in better than positive stuff....especially after years of it. That doesn't mean it is true though.
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  #553  
Old Feb 10, 2018, 10:38 PM
awkwardlyyours awkwardlyyours is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by atisketatasket View Post
He told me people found me boring and I had no personality.

I’m now pretty sure neither is true. At least not for therapists.

ETA: He also used to tell me what a “great catch” he was. Yeah...
You know, I’ll say the douchebag is so far off the mark, I’d have to question if he has the IQ of a (clinical definition of a) moron to even think for a moment it could fly.
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  #554  
Old Feb 10, 2018, 10:44 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NP_Complete View Post
He also told me that the people we used to work with, that none of them liked me and asked him why he was with me, that he could do so much better than me. (We used to work in a pizza place together when we were young.)

Part of me wants to think that he's just saying this to hurt me. But then another part, the part that has absorbed all the terrible things he said about me over the years, believes it. Why wouldn't they all hate me? I'm a terrible, unlikable person.

So I get the mind**** thing completely.
He told you that to control you...he wanted you to think he was the only one who could tolerate you. Because...if you started talking to some of those friends...then they might have let you know how awful your H was to you.
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  #555  
Old Feb 10, 2018, 11:15 PM
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unaluna unaluna is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by atisketatasket View Post
I hate Arial and all non-serif fonts. It’s well-known that serifs make it easier to read. And, yeah, what’s wrong with good ol’ 12-point?

And why oh why does MS Word now make its default font Calibri 11-point? It’s unbelievably ugly.
I love arial. Serifs drive my astigmatism mad. Unless of course its courier. I once sent somebody a press release in courier and they had a heart attack. Wtf is this! It was written on a manual typewriter! WAS NOT!!
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  #556  
Old Feb 10, 2018, 11:22 PM
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unaluna unaluna is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NP_Complete View Post
I wish it was as easy to discount his words for me as it is for outsiders. He had years to wiggle his way into my brain. And objectively speaking, he has had way more friends than I have. All of my friends, for the most part, were friends through him.
I was on my way to normal before my first h chased off all my adult friends. He didnt like to "sit around and talk." All my friends were smarter and classier than he was, was the problem. I was an idiot. And i have to agree with awk. But i understand - i was immersed in him for a long long time. But that was a different time. You have more options now.
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  #557  
Old Feb 10, 2018, 11:23 PM
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atisketatasket atisketatasket is offline
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Originally Posted by NP_Complete View Post
Are you sure we weren't married to the same guy?

I was also boring and had no personality. I "stole his youth". He could have had his pick of ladies, but he chose to be with me.
Maybe we should start a club. No interesting and personality-ful people allowed!

Which pretty much eliminates the entire Couch and all of PC.
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  #558  
Old Feb 11, 2018, 12:29 AM
stopdog stopdog is offline
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I am a Times New Roman girl most of the time. When I want to jazz it up I go Bookman Old Style.
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Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.
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Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.
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  #559  
Old Feb 11, 2018, 12:37 AM
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CantExplain CantExplain is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by atisketatasket View Post
I hate Arial and all non-serif fonts. It’s well-known that serifs make it easier to read. And, yeah, what’s wrong with good ol’ 12-point?

And why oh why does MS Word now make its default font Calibri 11-point? It’s unbelievably ugly.
Palatino!
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  #560  
Old Feb 11, 2018, 12:51 AM
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growlycat growlycat is offline
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If my t were a font he might just be papyrus



“Where do you even see this font??”

“Hookah bars, shakira merch, off brand teas “
Thanks for this!
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  #561  
Old Feb 11, 2018, 01:00 AM
Anonymous42961
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Originally Posted by growlycat View Post
If my t were a font he might just be papyrus



“Where do you even see this font??”

“Hookah bars, shakira merch, off brand teas “
Please what is the name of this video my ipad crashes everytime i try to open youtbe links
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  #562  
Old Feb 11, 2018, 01:05 AM
Anonymous42961
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Ok dont worry i found it
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  #563  
Old Feb 11, 2018, 01:06 AM
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atisketatasket atisketatasket is offline
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Originally Posted by CantExplain View Post
Palatino!
Linotype!
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  #564  
Old Feb 11, 2018, 01:07 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BlessedCheeseMaker View Post
Please what is the name of this video my ipad crashes everytime i try to open youtbe links
Saturday night live papyrus skit on YouTube
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  #565  
Old Feb 11, 2018, 04:20 AM
Anonymous42961
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Argh! I am drowning i am stuck iam trapped.
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  #566  
Old Feb 11, 2018, 06:14 AM
JessLynn JessLynn is offline
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... Bye then lol
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  #567  
Old Feb 11, 2018, 06:44 AM
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CantExplain CantExplain is offline
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I'm spirally down to a bad place. I'll take a pill tomorrow.
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  #568  
Old Feb 11, 2018, 07:30 AM
Anonymous57382
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Originally Posted by JessLynn View Post
... Bye then lol
I hope you don't think the lack of responses = lack of care. You got loads of hugs on your last post which is one big way way we tend to offer support on the couch.
It's difficult for people to respond as we don't know very much about your story (if you notice, responses on here tend to mostly be to specific questions/things people are asking input on or on people whose stories are more familiar) but we do care and hope you stay.
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  #569  
Old Feb 11, 2018, 08:27 AM
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LonesomeTonight LonesomeTonight is offline
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Originally Posted by JessLynn View Post
... Bye then lol
I second what Runcible said in explaining the couch! Also hope you stay! Couch can be kind of a weird place--sometimes one particular story takes over and one person's post can get kinda lost. If you want to share a bit more, we'd be happy listen!
Thanks for this!
CantExplain
  #570  
Old Feb 11, 2018, 09:15 AM
stopdog stopdog is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BlessedCheeseMaker View Post
Argh! I am drowning i am stuck iam trapped.
Is something going on?
__________________
Please NO @

Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.
Oscar Wilde
Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.
Thanks for this!
CantExplain
  #571  
Old Feb 11, 2018, 10:34 AM
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atisketatasket atisketatasket is offline
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I had a non-nightmare last night—I was dating a non-jerk who was also good in bed.

I need more dreams like that
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  #572  
Old Feb 11, 2018, 10:45 AM
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ruh roh ruh roh is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by growlycat View Post
If my t were a font he might just be papyrus



“Where do you even see this font??”

“Hookah bars, shakira merch, off brand teas “
I love this! ahahaha
Thanks for this!
CantExplain, growlycat, unaluna
  #573  
Old Feb 11, 2018, 10:52 AM
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unaluna unaluna is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ruh roh View Post
I love this! ahahaha
I know! And that its the gosling makes it that much more insane!! Or inane
Thanks for this!
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  #574  
Old Feb 11, 2018, 10:59 AM
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unaluna unaluna is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight View Post
I second what Runcible said in explaining the couch! Also hope you stay! Couch can be kind of a weird place--sometimes one particular story takes over and one person's post can get kinda lost. If you want to share a bit more, we'd be happy listen!
Yes. Some of us are experts in laughing to keep from crying.

Btw, LT, I had a stella artois last night. I had planned to cook with it, but i just drank it while washing dishes instead last night. Plus it was a very small bottle - 8 oz, wtf?? But omg it was delicious! I dont think ive ever had belgian before.
Thanks for this!
CantExplain, LonesomeTonight
  #575  
Old Feb 11, 2018, 12:10 PM
awkwardlyyours awkwardlyyours is offline
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Originally Posted by unaluna View Post
Yes. Some of us are experts in laughing to keep from crying.

Btw, LT, I had a stella artois last night. I had planned to cook with it, but i just drank it while washing dishes instead last night. Plus it was a very small bottle - 8 oz, wtf?? But omg it was delicious! I dont think ive ever had belgian before.
Unaaaa... I was just going to report that after being inspired by ATAT, I showed up for a yoga class today. Just getting out and I see this post and now I....crave beer (in my defense, it’s past noon here).
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