Couch 162: Let's Play Ball! (The Baseball Couch)

I have seriously considered it. I don't know that I could really do it justice, though...

ok y'all what is wrong with my mind/body?

the mdd* hacked my mainframe so I spent most of the weekend in bed (about 50/50 sleeping/agonizing) so now I guess I'm well-rested but also I hate everything and am kind of irritable and just want to go back to bed please

why.

*major depressive disorder

The body wants to move. Im an expert at resting, so believe me. Eat some veg and touch your toes.

Clever, though.

I just had a huge meltdown at work. I came in late today because I had my car at the mechanic. I walk in and see a huge Valentine's balloon bouquet on my desk. I knew right away they were from my parents, because they sent me flowers for Thanksgiving and Christmas. I have been studiously trying to avoid any reminders about this holiday, and there it is, on my desk for the whole world to see. I know they mean well, but why would they think I want a reminder of a romantic holiday right now? I had to ask one of the few people I've confided in to come take them away and I almost started sobbing when she showed up at my desk. I'm so embarrassed right now. I also feel like I got bludgeoned by a Valentine's hammer. I'm angry at my parents right now but I don't want to say anything to them.

I'm sorry NP.

I'm taking the week off from therapy, and it feels great. I did hear back from my therapist after a long weekend and we are working out our understandings about where to go from here.

And now I feel guilty because I gave away their balloons.

Maybe I was just being way too sensitive about this. I shouldn't have gotten so upset.

It makes total sense that you'd get upset...they should have thought about that possibility before sending them, especially to your work (since then you'd have to react in public).

NP - sorry you had a rough day. I don't think your parents could have known how it would bother you, but I am sorry it was so distressing. I don't think of valentine's day as a romantic holiday so I would not have recognized it would be distressing (which is not the same as saying it should not be distressing). In other words - your distress is not tied to whether it was something someone else could have known or not. Your distress is valid and their sending them does not make them culpable = both can be true.

In a funny way - valentine's day without my person is not particularly upsetting to me, but a lent - time ritual we had that I will miss is causing me great distress. And I am not religious at all - it is just that lent is the time this particular thing comes up around here.

NP—I agree sending them in public—I mean, why there?

2ex never observed Valentine’s Day. Therefore it doesn’t bother me.

Hey! He actually did something good for me.

NP...I’m so sorry for everything that’s going on with you.

Jersey...don’t hug SD...don’t hug SD...don’t hug SD.

I triple double dare you.

I mean, you’re unmedicated...no limits, right?

Hahahaha. I think when it comes to hugging stopdog, it’s a good time to practice those limits.

Good lord.

Its the couch bylaw which must never speak its name.

I feel better today. The mood swings are brutal. I’ve been cleaning up my eating a bit to see if that helps. On top of all that, I’ve been into using essential oils around the house that are supposed to have a calming effect.

Eucalyptus in the morning, jasmine at night. Thats what ive heard. Minty to get you going, flowery to send you to sleep.

And if you break it, good ol' Alfie will come back from the dead and give you the "bi**h, please" look until you spontaneously combust.

Yep. I’ve read that. I purchased a diffuser that I have on. And I ordered a diffuser bracelet for the roll on oils.

Lavender oil always helps me to relax. I hope you get better and deal with the mood swings. They're never fun. Sometimes going in nature also helps to silent the mind.

I see the PDOC tomorrow morning not looking forward to it all:/ I never know what her mood will be which it even more sad. I hope she’s the kind person many many weeks ago but I kinda doubt that. It usually you aren’t doing this right and then I say I am and she gets more annoyed. I really want to change meds another knock down drag down no no I’m not doing that ( works fine) we will increase! I am really going in the office tomorrow head up and say please hear me out I understand you think the medicine works but clearly it isn’t we play this same scenario over and over but we never get anywhere will you please just give me a chance with a new medication? I understand I’ve failed you in the past with my side effects me getting super sick etc but I’m stronger now please just give me a chance that’s all I ask. In my head the scenario seems like it’ll go well but somehow I have this gut feeling she’ll be stubborn as always.

Yes. Thank you for the info. I love walks in the woods when weather permits and I have a beautiful park near me.

I hope you can get her to hear you out.

Marjoram sends me to sleep a few drops on your pillow. Lovely. I am not really into that sort of thing but marjoram worked for me.

In other news i am nicknaming Salem the holographic kitty, remember those cards that changed picture when you tipped them? Salem looks black normally but in the sunlight he looks like a brown tabby its so unusual.

I am not staying in bed all day today and watching Shetland like i did yesterday. I bought some polymer clay and i think i will play with that. On Shetland yesterday the actor who played TV John in Hamish Mc Beth was playing a taciturn islander. I thought he might have been dead.