[annielovesbacon]

I know part of this feeling is because I haven't seen my T for two months and can't see her for six more. BUT I have felt this way since I started seeing her.
I often imagine her "watching over me" in a way, and sometimes I imagine that she is with me and we are having a conversation. Usually when I am bored, like on a car ride or something. If I am alone I will sometimes speak out loud like I am talking to her.
Am I the only one who does this? Is this unhealthy behavior?

[DP_2017]

Yep and my T knows and says is common and a sign of things working

[annielovesbacon]

Originally Posted by DP_2017

Yep and my T knows and says is common and a sign of things working

What do you mean by "a sign of things working"?

[stopdog]

I think those guys expect it. Internalizing their voice sort of thing.
So I don't think it is odd.
It did not happen to me, but I did not let the woman talk very much and when she did, it was gibberish.

[MRT6211]

Originally Posted by annielovesbacon

I know part of this feeling is because I haven't seen my T for two months and can't see her for six more. BUT I have felt this way since I started seeing her.
I often imagine her "watching over me" in a way, and sometimes I imagine that she is with me and we are having a conversation. Usually when I am bored, like on a car ride or something. If I am alone I will sometimes speak out loud like I am talking to her.
Am I the only one who does this? Is this unhealthy behavior?

An 8 month break from therapy!?! I don’t know how I’d survive! I commend you! And I think it’s healthy, my T is always telling me to internalize her messages and think what she would say to me.

[DP_2017]

Originally Posted by annielovesbacon

What do you mean by "a sign of things working"?

i have no idea what he meant by it... but probably just that our "Relationship" is good/strong and therapy is helping me in some aspects

[maybeblue]

Yes. All the time. I think about what I'm going to say to him/her (I've had both) and what I hope he/she will say back to me. I hear their buzz phrases in my head too.

I think it is healthy enough as long as the imaginary therapist is saying healthy stuff to you. I still the jerk therapist in my head sometimes. I wish he'd go away already.

[satsuma]

Yes I do, and my T says it is supposed to happen like that. For example, I sort of calm myself down with the kinds of things my T says. Like "You did really well to manage x." "Never mind, it's not the end of the world.""Ypu need to have a rest as well." Sounds crazy but those are the sorts of monologues going through my mind sometimes!

I used to have a constant abusive voice going through my mind which was contributing to having a low self esteem, getting very upset over things that seem minor to other people, and that sort of thing.

Funnily enough, when I started internalising T's voice, I also started internalising other people too. I mean that now I'm able to hear when people give me complements, and believe them (mostly) and remember them. In general now I remember the positive things that I hear from most people instead of the incredibly negative things that I heard from one person.

[ScarletPimpernel]

Ever since I was young, I'd talk to people in my head (or sometimes out loud if I was alone). The other person doesn't usually say much: yes, no, why, etc.

I talk to my T all the time. I use it to prepare for a session, to try to process something on my own, or just to bring myself comfort. I just last week admitted to T that I do this. We didn't talk about it, but she did seem a little surprised.

I've done this for as long as I can remember, so if it's unhealthy, well... Oh well. There's worse things then talking to someone who isn't there.

[Lemoncake]

Sometimes I write messages to R in my journal and write back what he'd say.

Once i couldnt see my T for 6 months i used to talk to him and imagine him cuddling me when i went to sleep, not in a sexual way just as a comfort thing.

[junkDNA]

One of the voices I hear is a therapist. It's always saying how are you feeling, how are you feeling now, what are you thinking about. It's so annoying
I don't see it as my t though

[seeker33]

I do it often. Mostly I imagine what am I going to say in the session and what would she reply, but sometimes I talk to her about random everyday stuff. I also sometimes do more good and healthy activities and imagine telling her about it and she praises me and says "well done", you're working hard 😊

Yes I have T's voice in my head. Well it's my voice. It's how I relate to myself using T.

[toomanycats]

Yes, I do.

[Glittering]

I do this all the time. I practice what I'm going to say to her and what she's going to say back, tell her in my head about small things that have happened, and imagine her reactions. It's like she's always there. Or I want her to always be there. It drove me a bit nuts at first - I think because I felt like it was 'wrong' in some way, but now I'm used to it and mostly find it comforting. I found telling her that I do it helped. It definitely intensifies during breaks.

Yes. Usually it is when I am doing something I shouldn't, some unhealthy behavior. That's when I hear her asking about it, why I'm doing it and what strategies I have tried to move past it. That is normally enough to spur me into action because I want to be able to tell her that I tried my best..... I may have this desire to make her proud of me though and I am not sure that is 100% healthy... lol

[uhmno]

Yes, I do. However, I imagine many people and talk to them so it's not unusual for me. I always did it even as a little kid and when I am alone I talk to them out loud. I especially do it when I am bored or when I am watching a movie and something comes to my mind I wanna talk about. I really like doing it. In addition, I believe that it is (at least in my case) a form of processing information. ...or maybe I am mad

Yes, I have conversations with her in my head sometimes and also sometimes when I'm reacting badly to something I'll here her voice "Art, find your feet" or something.

[Anne2.0]

I think what I experience is both similar and different. Back awhile now when I was doing some trauma work, I was having terrible flashbacks of an incident when I was a young adult where I was rescued by a stranger. When I would have a flashback and start to get lost in the big emotions of it, I had enough distance to be able to conjure up my T inside the memory as the man who helped me.

I was ashamed of this, called it "unauthorized use of a therapist", told my T about it. He thought it was fine and explained that in the theory of the neurobiological of trauma, one of the reasons why they believe talk therapy is helpful is because the presence of supportive person why recalling or remembering the trauma changes the neural pathways that are "engraved" by the trauma. Interrupt those pathways, and then the PTSD symptoms tend to recede. The "story" changes. This was certainly true for me, that was pretty much the beginning of the end of needing to talk about some of the last traumatic incidents (I thought I'd finished 15 years earlier).

I haven't had such difficulty with flashbacks and other PTSD/anxiety reactions for a while now, but when I did, I imagined I was in his office with him.

Maybe this is internalization, I am not sure. I don't so much here his voice as much as feel in his physical presence. It's not like I've internalized him per se but instead beam myself emotionally to be connected to the safe person and safe space that he represents for me.

There actually is a memoir by this title "Your voice in my head" about a former client and her therapist. It's an OK read but not really consistent with my taste in memoirs.

https://www.amazon.com/Your-Voice-My.../dp/1590515404

Hearing their voices is how I processed my therapy after hours. Their voices replaced the negative childhood voices. Now, it is more of my own voice dialoging with self.

[annielovesbacon]

Originally Posted by MRT6211

An 8 month break from therapy!?! I don’t know how I’d survive! I commend you! And I think it’s healthy, my T is always telling me to internalize her messages and think what she would say to me.

It's definitely hard, and while the long break is due to experiences I am lucky to have (right now I am studying abroad, and in the summer I have an internship in a different state), I really wish I could still see T regularly. I'm struggling pretty badly and I think my T's voice in my head is one of the only things that is helping me... although on the other hand it makes me miss her more.

[annielovesbacon]

Originally Posted by ScarletPimpernel

Ever since I was young, I'd talk to people in my head (or sometimes out loud if I was alone). The other person doesn't usually say much: yes, no, why, etc.

I talk to my T all the time. I use it to prepare for a session, to try to process something on my own, or just to bring myself comfort. I just last week admitted to T that I do this. We didn't talk about it, but she did seem a little surprised.

I've done this for as long as I can remember, so if it's unhealthy, well... Oh well. There's worse things then talking to someone who isn't there.

Originally Posted by uhmno

Yes, I do. However, I imagine many people and talk to them so it's not unusual for me. I always did it even as a little kid and when I am alone I talk to them out loud. I especially do it when I am bored or when I am watching a movie and something comes to my mind I wanna talk about. I really like doing it. In addition, I believe that it is (at least in my case) a form of processing information. ...or maybe I am mad

I have done this since I was a kid too, I've always been one to talk to myself. Maybe it's weird, maybe it's not... but I do agree that for me it is a way of processing information... sometimes after a session I will sit in my car and talk out loud for hours about what I would have said if I had more time, what I wish I had said, what I want to talk about next time, etc. It is comforting, mostly, although it also makes me miss T which is hard.

[annielovesbacon]

Originally Posted by BlessedCheeseMaker

Once i couldnt see my T for 6 months i used to talk to him and imagine him cuddling me when i went to sleep, not in a sexual way just as a comfort thing.

I am finding myself in a similar place... like I said I am on an eight-month break and I often imagine us hanging out, for instance this weekend I was traveling and imagining what it would be like if we went on vacation together.

Originally Posted by besidemyselvez

Yes. Usually it is when I am doing something I shouldn't, some unhealthy behavior. That's when I hear her asking about it, why I'm doing it and what strategies I have tried to move past it. That is normally enough to spur me into action because I want to be able to tell her that I tried my best..... I may have this desire to make her proud of me though and I am not sure that is 100% healthy... lol

I think I do the same thing, I definitely have a desire of people (definitely including T, but not just her) to be proud of me. Usually however I think of how T would react before I do an unhealthy behavior... and then I do it anyway, and I feel guilty
I also try to make her proud in other ways though, for instance last month I was considering dropping a class that was very difficult but then I imagined coming back in eight months and telling her about this difficult class that I persevered through, and just thinking that she might be proud of me for that was enough to make me stay in the class.
I'm not sure that wanting to make your T proud is necessarily unhealthy, but maybe feeling guilt over hypothetical disappointment that your T hasn't actually expressed might be a bit unhealthy? I'm not really sure.