Emotionally numb but crying

I'm probably not alone in this right? Feeling "nothing" while the eyes leak tears and the nose stuffs up.

Nope, happens to me a lot, I can start to tear up but then I pull back and stop. I've only cried one time in almost 11 months

No QM you're not alone.

I’m so sorry you are in pain yet cut off from it. Take care.

Someone told me once to not be afraid to cry because those tears can be healing.

You are not alone QM. My t calls it desensitising and says that if I was to feel those feelings it would be overwhelming.

There have been nights when I am by myself and everyone is asleep that the tears come.

I cry and I don’t know why I’m crying. Some nights it’s just tears and other nights it has been sobs.

I agree with Satsuma and there is a feeling that a part of me is crying and healing. I also agree and feel what monalisasmile posted. Maybe the tears heal without the overwhelming feelings being brought out.

(((QM)))

Our bodies have great capacities to heal but our minds resist. Our bodies release the stress that our minds can’t acknowledge by crying and shaking. Thats what I believe and way and it’s also sad that we cry in private
I wish feelings were more acceptable.

I know. It's weird, that feeling that isn't a feeling. Numb, disconnected, whatever you want to call it. Like everything's just "flatlined" emotionally.

They say crying is one of the most amazing ways to heal. It sure releases something bad out of you. Yuck, get that bad stuff out of you. It builds up and eventually you have to cry. When you get that knot in your throat you know it's time. I use to have acne problems, and then I went through this period of crying a lot every day. I never had problems with acne ever since.

I feel less alone reading your replies When it happens in session, T asks "What are the tears saying?" but I often don't have an answer. When it happens at night, i usually keep tissues handy.

" T asks 'What are the tears saying?; but I often don't have an answer. When it happens at night, i usually keep tissues handy."

QuietMind - one day soon you will both know. The tears are a part of your healing process and you are not alone.

Another question I might ask is “what do you tell your tears?” Do you welcome them or push them away? I know I didnt have a choice with mine in the past. They would just flow and it seemed like I had no control over them. Now I hardly ever cry because I don’t let myself feel as much, this part of me sees tears as a threat, as weakness. Sometimes I really hate how I desensitise myself because it feels cold but if I didn’t do this I would have another breakdown.
Are you ashamed of your tears QM, is that why they come out in the dark, when no one can see? They must be very lonely

I definitely push them away. In session I used to stand up and move so the tears would stop then I'd sit back down. Now I stay in my chair as T requested, but they still stop really quickly because I still go numb. It's so automatic.

I understand why you desensitise yourself. I wonder what would make it safe so you wouldn't have to do that.

Yes, at night, I cry longer and don't always feel "nothing". Because yes, no one can see. Last night I read a blog where the author wrote that she learned the tears others saw would be used against her, so she'd curl up in a corner alone to rock and cry, rock and cry. I pretty much do something similar.

I wonder if it's helpful to ask yourself-- if you could discover what the tears were about, what are you afraid the answer would be? That may or may not be helpful, it just occurred to me.