[anneke06]

I have been seeing my therapist weekly and sometimes twice a week for almost three years. We have a strong relationship and she has been steadfast in helping me.

Here's my issue. I've been having a tough time lately...some flashbacks, a lot of anxiety and depression, a return to mild SI, etc. I'm seeing her weekly, but yesterday I was in a pretty bad place and called her and she was able to see me. I'm supposed to see her again on Monday and really want to, especially because I have a week of family activities around the holidays and that's always pretty stressful. However, I really can't afford the extra session (when I impulsively made the extra appointment yesterday I told myself that I just wouldn't go on Monday, thus keeping to my therapy budget).

I'm considering e-mailing her (we e-mail between sessions as a matter of general course, so nothing out of the ordinary there) and asking her if she would consider seeing me Monday without charging me. I should add that I have paid her normal rate without fail for the last three years for every session. Right now money is just a little tighter than usual and I've reached my insurance reimbursement and spent out our flex fund, so I'm paying everything out of pocket right now.

I'm not even sure why I'm posting this...I hardly ever post....I guess I'm just wondering if anyone has ever asked for something similar and what the result has been.

On one hand, I'm expecting her to say no...on the other hand, I know I "have" to ask, because otherwise I'll wonder forever what the result would have been.

[Rapunzel]

If she does say no, how will that affect you and the relationship? Can you live with that? Then, maybe she will say yes, or maybe she will offer a compromise such as a reduced rate. You could get what you want. If you weigh the worst that can happen with the best that can happen, is it worth it to ask?

[Perna]

I wouldn't ask my therapist. I wouldn't see it as my therapist's problem to help with my use of money? I would be inclined to go with my original plan and not see her on Monday but maybe e-mail a bit more than usual that day since it's the holiday week.

I would call her, tell her you cannot afford Monday so have to cancel and see if she offers anything in return like a reduced price session, etc. But I don't think she could "morally" give you a free session as that would break the frame of therapy; if then, why not next month when you have another/different problem, etc.?

I believe part of therapy is fincial issues at times. I had a similar problem. My T is letting me see her for free until the beginning of the year. However I've deicded to start paying her a small sum until then, it was my choice. Every therapist is different because their ppl, but any therapist should recognize a clients finicial issues, if you're unable to pay, then your therapist should help you through that as well. I know how fearful it is to ask for free sessions, I came into a session two weeks ago crying becuase my parents told me they couldnt pay for any more sesions this year, my therapist then asked what was wrong, I told her I couldnt see her anymore this year.

She said she had known and was letting me come anyway. But again every person is different, perhaps she'll let you pay a small sum...maybe 20 dollars at most? Therapy is expensive, 9 times outta 10 the Therapist knows that, and can work around it.

[sidony]

I like Perna's suggestion on this. Tell her you have to cancel and see what she says. I also would not feel right asking for a free session.

My therapist made it clear that he could offer me reduced rates when I became unemployed. But I was very happy when I didn't have to take him up on it (found a new job). I do spend more than I ever intended to, but it's incredibly valuable to me.

Sidony

[ECHOES]

Yes let her know that you scheduled without considering your finances, and that as a result you feel you need to cancel.

Rather than asking her for an unpaid session, you could ask if she could defer your payment for the session. Or could she accept something like an extra amount in your regular payments ($5 or $10) until the session is paid for, then returning to the regular fee.

Definitely let her know what's going on and see if the two of you can work out a solution that meets both of your needs. Let her be part of the solution since it affects her too. In fact, I would imagine this won't be the first time she's been presented with a patient's financial issue, so she may have a plan for handling in place when it happens. So let her know, let her in on this and see what the two of you can come up with.

good luck to you!

IMO, therapists provide a service for a fee - just like doctors and lawyers. I think by their nature they are inclined to WANT to help for free, but I don't think it's fair to ask them. Seems like taking advantage of the relationship.

She probably needs to do her holiday shopping too.

Campy

[bipolar_bear]

I think many t, but not all, reserve a certain amount for those that are struggling financially whether it be in reduced rates for a while or periodic sessions which they do at no cost.

I too would ask you to evaluate what your reaction would be if she said no. It certainly is her perogative and within her part of the relationship. I just would think it through.

BB

[MissCharlotte]

Hi,

I'm also worried about upsetting the balance of the relationship. Then it will become about money and not about you.

How about asking her if you can pay the extra session off over a series of weeks. Like, one fifth over the course of five weeks? Would that help? Could you manage it?

Good luck.

Be honest about your financial situation and ask her if there's anything that can be worked to continue seeing her as scheduled. She may do pro-bono work, she may not. I don't know.

Personally - one of my little alters told her they wanted to see her more often, but that we could not pay because Vocational Rehab did the payments. She said they would likely not pay 2x per week, but that she was the type that did pro-bono work whenever possible. I'd never have known without asking...

Hey. I would say 'I really really want to come in to see you but... I really really can't afford it. I'm sorry'. Now... I do have a tendency to apologise more than is helpful, so maybe the 'I'm sorry' is unnecessary... But I guess I would say that. It is being honest about your situation. And it is up to your therapist how to respond to that.

If they simply can't see you then I guess they won't...
But it might be possible that they can.

[anneke06]

Wow...lots of opinions here! Thanks for all the thoughts. Long story short, I asked, she said yes.

:-)