[weaverbeaver]

I am really struggling with life right now!
T is not as available as she used to be between our ruptures and semi repairs, t has been very busy and often I don’t get an appointment with her.
We have no set day or time and mostly this is because of the way I work.

I used to be able to ask t for help or support but since all of our ruptures lately, I feel like I can’t text her anymore!
Does anyone have any suggestions?

[DP_2017]

I can understand this. My t is great but he wont allow more than 1x a week no matter what and refers ppl elsewhere for crisis. It's frustrating but I've had to learn to manage elsewhere

Finding friends even online...is helpful. Crisis line isn't helpful to everyone but its free and an option. I think too much of a t...contact or sessions is unhealthy dependancy. I've been there but It's not recommended.
That being said once in a while is normal and understandable. If nothing else just talk to her. Ask if she ever allowed extra sessions. Ask if you can email once in a while. Maybe she has a back up t as well you could try. Sorry things are tough. Hope you can get the help you need right now

[NP_Complete]

Have you considered finding a new therapist? It seems like your work with this one is kind of at an impasse.

[SlumberKitty]

You said you feel like you can't text her anymore, but do you think it would help if you did? Or would it be worse to text and then perhaps not get a response? I'm sorry your T isn't as available, and not being able to get an appointment doesn't sound at all helpful. It might be time to consider a new T that is more available. If you want to keep working with this T just be assertive to try to get an appointment and keep calling until you get one. Hugs if you want them.

[ScarletPimpernel]

Can you call or email instead of text?

Maybe try a crisis line. They might give you some advice about your rupture with your T, and you current crisis.

[weaverbeaver]

Thank you all for your help and advice.
I have rang a few ts but had no luck. They didn’t answer and never rang back.
I am trying to manage without ts help but it’s really hard.
I think that our work is at an impasse as you said NP and all these ruptures are not resolving anything just adding salt to the wound.
I also feel like t doesn’t have any space because I have cancelled, so she is getting her own back.

[unaluna]

I also feel like t doesn’t have any space because I have cancelled, so she is getting her own back.

Is it possible to pre-pay for a session, or have you paid her for the missed sessions? Somehow you must prove to her that you really want to have a session with her, and are not going to cancel again? Or ask/text her what her conditions are.

I dont think she is "getting her own back" per se - maybe she just feels, fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on her.

[weaverbeaver]

Originally Posted by unaluna

Is it possible to pre-pay for a session, or have you paid her for the missed sessions? Somehow you must prove to her that you really want to have a session with her, and are not going to cancel again? Or ask/text her what her conditions are.


I dont think she is "getting her own back" per se - maybe she just feels, fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on her.

You could be right, god knows what way that woman’s mind works.
I had very good reasons to cancel one session and not show for the other. The work wasn’t safe and t couldn’t contain it without contaminating it with her own stuff!
I didn’t offer to pay her because I wasn’t going to go to a session for her to just collect details so she could report. T thinks she is a private investigator and not a t lately!

If you can't trust her enough to turn up for your appointment, then I think you can't work with her.

[PurpleBlur]

Originally Posted by weaverbeaver

I am really struggling with life right now!
T is not as available as she used to be between our ruptures and semi repairs, t has been very busy and often I don’t get an appointment with her.
We have no set day or time and mostly this is because of the way I work.

I used to be able to ask t for help or support but since all of our ruptures lately, I feel like I can’t text her anymore!
Does anyone have any suggestions?

i made the mistake with old T of not being open with my feelings/needs...so this time around, I am pretty open and honest about what I think and what I need. I do have a bit of a freakout when she is willing to give me the things I need (transitional items, etc) and I may pull away, or refuse them...but I do tell her about wanting/needing them and she has given to me most of them...like recording herself reading a chapter from my favorite book to help me self regulate when I wake up from a nightmare, or just a story to listen to to help me fall asleep.


An unusual request, to be sure, but not an unreasonable one.


you cant get it if you dont ask. write a note?

[doogie]

It's awkward, but sometimes I have to reach out to my T and say "I need something, but I don't know what so I'm just reaching out." She usually just takes it from there and I do end up feeling better in the end. Just the act of reaching out helps me. It's hard, though.