[Dannii91]

Is it an inevitable thing to experience transference for every therapist you see? Does it always happen during a therapy session?

Originally Posted by Dannii91

Is it an inevitable thing to experience transference for every therapist you see? Does it always happen during a therapy session?

Many people have different answers and experiences of this but if we were to call transference your feelings towards your therapist- it makes more sense that it would happen with every therapist and every therapy experience because feelings and emotions emerge organically in every situation.

Originally Posted by Dannii91

Is it an inevitable thing to experience transference for every therapist you see? Does it always happen during a therapy session?

Transference is the sum total of our past experiences overlapping in experiences in the here and now. Some therapies address that. others don't. But just because it's not addressed, doesn't mean is not happening.

[Teddy Bear]

No sometimes you get a T that you just can't stand

[amicus_curiae]

I’ve never experienced transference in psychotherapy. I don’t think that it’s healthy or that transference/countertransference is necessary for a client-therapist relationship.

I have a constant feeling of grandiosity and, save for a number of years, I’ve always had a feeling that I was >>generally<< smarter than any shrink or therapist. Not smarter than them in their professions, still willing to share the crap in my life with them, but never any feeling of attachment.

I know of Freud’s theory and Jung’s theory but I don’t ‘get’ transference using more common and modern therapies.

My answer would be “no,” it’s an antiquated concept but I’m aware that it happens even when unintentional. I’m always tempted to blame the therapist for not addressing the possibility with patients.

Originally Posted by Teddy Bear

No sometimes you get a T that you just can't stand

Thsts transference right there.

[toomanycats]

I have not had transference for many of my therapists. So, no, I don't think it's inevitable or happens every time.

[LonesomeTonight]

I've been in therapy numerous times since my teens (I'm now early 40s). The first time transference for a T happened was with MC (though I also had some negative maternal transference for ex-T, who I started seeing 6 years ago, but I don't think that's what you're talking about). I did have some transference for a high school teacher though (of course didn't realize what it was at the time). And now I feel like I have some transference for current T, but nowhere near the intensity as for MC (at least not now, 6 months in).

So...no, I don't think it happens for every therapist.

[nottrustin]

Originally Posted by Teddy Bear

No sometimes you get a T that you just can't stand

But then it is negative transference.

[maybeblue]

It seems that transference can be defined a lot of different ways. I kind of like this one: "Transference is a psychological phenomenon in which an individual redirects emotions and feelings, often unconsciously, from one person to another."

I think we do it all the time with people. Something your spouse do reminds you of something your mother used to do and so you snap at spouse. So it makes sense that we do it with therapists. I'll be honest, I only ever seem to notice negative transference toward my therapists. I often feel positive feelings toward my therapists too, but it really seems like I actually like them...that I believe they are helpful to me, I'm not seeing them as a mother or father figure.

Cats do it too by the way. I've seen one of my cats get all upset because she hates one of the other cats. Then my poor unsuspecting husband walks by her and she attacks his feet. It's a little funny actually, although he doesn't think so.

[lunatic soul]

The word "transference" annoys me.

If connection is good then it's right T for you.
If you can't find any connection, it's not for you.
If you don't like your T, find another T.
If you attach to your T then you should know that people attach to person who help them in bad times and it's okay.
If you have strong feelings for your T then... I can't comment it. They would say you miss your mother or father or maybe lover. I would say it's different for each other, some of you find T attractive, some of you feel really lonely in real life. I don't know. We all are different.

I feel my T as a friend to me but I know she is not my friend and it's okay. We have good connection and she helps me. It's hard to truly trust her because it's hard for me to trust any women and she is not exception.
I think I made her mad because I acted totally like I shouldn't, it wasn't because of her but because of issues with someone but she said that it helped her to understand me better. Anyway I think she was really annoyed and I said sorry all the time for that session.
Sometimes I'm sure she thinks I'm bad person because I feel like bad person and it's hard to believe that someone can think I'm not bad person. Sometimes I'm afraid she wish me bad things but I hope she is not interested in my life that much to do it.
All my thought and fears are based on my experiences and thoughts about other people.
I can't trust people but I need help so I must try to trust. And to believe she is ethical and won't risk with her job to tell anyone about me.
Okay, when she says that she can talk about other's clients if she doesn't mention the names and think it would help, I don't want she mention something about me to others.

I don't think it's transference. It's my fears. I trust only in my mother. You would say I should trust my T because she may be my mother or reminds me of her? No.

[MoxieDoxie]

Originally Posted by Teddy Bear

No sometimes you get a T that you just can't stand

Is not that still transference?

[Shazerac]

Originally Posted by MoxieDoxie

Is not that still transference?

I have to respectably disagree with you. Sometimes you meet a person you automatically like or dislike in any setting. Just because the person happens to be a therapist or Pdoc doesn’t automatically mean it’s tranferance. I walked into a Pdocs office once and the dude looked like Jabba the Hut. He just creeped me out. I didn’t waste time trying to figure it out. just got a different doc.

Originally Posted by Mouse_62

Transference is the sum total of our past experiences overlapping in experiences in the here and now. Some therapies address that. others don't. But just because it's not addressed, doesn't mean is not happening.

This is the definition I use as well.

With that definition, I think transference can explain at least a proportion of our feelings every day, perhaps every hour. Also agree that disliking doesn't necessarily have to involve transference. If I don't like the sound of a nail scratching a chalkboard, that doesn't mean transference is part of my feelings. I just don't like the sound. Same with liking a T or not.

I would find it hard to believe that someone doesn't experience transference with another person. The one-sidedness of the relationship encourages it when it comes to therapy. And the more blank slate the T, the greater the intensity. That's also why psychoanalysts who do therapy can be harmful if they are not fully competent or careful. They give a lot of space, which I find helpful, but sometimes too much space causes the dissolution of boundaries between the therapist and client, resulting in a boundary loss type of psychosis.

[kecanoe]

I assume you are talking about the kind of transference where the client longs for more ____ (fill in the blank) from T. I would say no, that doesn't always happen.

If you are asking about transference in the larger definition that some have used in previous posts, then yes, I think that in all of my relationships there is some emotional stuff that happens because of my past.

[mostlylurking]

Originally Posted by Teddy Bear
No sometimes you get a T that you just can't stand

Originally Posted by Mouse_62

Thsts transference right there.

I do think sometimes when we feel the "chemistry" is bad with someone, and they get under our skin or annoy us, it's likely some sort of transference.

But I would allow for the possibility of really bad T's, too.

[BudFox]

Transference is happening to everyone all the time. It's a non-specific concept and has very little meaning. It is referenced obsessively in therapy circles because it's a beneficial tool/weapon for therapists... e.g. a blame deflecting device, and it keeps the client in the dark and dependent on the therapist to explain things.

BTW, if a client cannot stand a therapist, calling it "transference" does not explain anything, and it violates principle of Occam's razor, which says go for the simplest explanation first, which in this case would be that the therapist is unpleasant to be around.