[SarahSweden]

It´s often said that you should talk to the therapist about the relationship and if there are things that doesn´t feel good in therapy or if there is something to change.

So I did and I didn´t have any specific critique but wanting my T to express more understanding and to focus on things I tell her, not just rush into solutions or the "next step" in things.

I like talked and talked and of course she added some comments to it but now afterwards I just feel it was like convincing her to continue therapy. It was not that she had said we should quit but she earlier said she was a little hesitant about being the right therapist for me.

I did much of what she should have been doing, talking about alternatives, showing that I also appreciate what she´s doing, I tried to be considerate in what I told her and so on.

But afterwards I just feel she doesn´t care, she didn´t made any effort to show that she wants to adapt, even if she didn´t say she wouldn´t adapt. It was like convincing her to continue therapy by showing I can accept different things and put it in a perspective.

I really felt like e-mailing her today and say I quit, I´ve done what a client should do; bring things up, being honest and so on. I know I´d feel bad about waiting for an answer to my e-mail and then having to process it all on my own when she confirms we quit therapy. I wish I could just go on after ending it, not caring but unfortunately that´s not reality.

[here today]

Hi, I just wanted to point out that you seem to be aware of your conflicting feelings and how they are related to reality, and that seems very positive, to me.

So, for what it's worth, it seems like you've tried to address a situation that doesn't work for you, that doesn't seem "right" to you and. . .no change that you can see in that situation. You've done what you can do. That's all you can do, what other people do is up to them. As is the decision to stay or leave up to you.

You've written before about how alone you feel. It makes me feel sad. So, even though I'm not a fan of therapy in general, it makes me feel sad, too, to think of you leaving this therapist. Maybe "church counselors" have a different take on what they are trying to do, IDK?

Originally Posted by SarahSweden

. . .
I really felt like e-mailing her today and say I quit, I´ve done what a client should do; bring things up, being honest and so on. I know I´d feel bad about waiting for an answer to my e-mail and then having to process it all on my own when she confirms we quit therapy. I wish I could just go on after ending it, not caring but unfortunately that´s not reality.

[SarahSweden]

Thanks here today. I agree I can´t do much more than what I did and it´s not up to me only to adapt or to fix things. Yes, I am very lonely and it also makes me very vulnerable when it comes to counsellors, therapists and so on.

It´s very hard to decide what to do as on one hand I don´t want to leave this therapist and be completely without support but on the other hand some of the meetings with her are such a disappointment they make me feel even worse.

Yes, partly our church counsellors have a different take on what they do. My therapist isn´t specifically affected by church work per se but more that she holds a different, less qualified education. I´ve come to notice this more and more as I realise she doesn´t understand much about psychological processes, like why a person is depressed, why I have a low self image and such.

Originally Posted by here today

Hi, I just wanted to point out that you seem to be aware of your conflicting feelings and how they are related to reality, and that seems very positive, to me.

So, for what it's worth, it seems like you've tried to address a situation that doesn't work for you, that doesn't seem "right" to you and. . .no change that you can see in that situation. You've done what you can do. That's all you can do, what other people do is up to them. As is the decision to stay or leave up to you.

You've written before about how alone you feel. It makes me feel sad. So, even though I'm not a fan of therapy in general, it makes me feel sad, too, to think of you leaving this therapist. Maybe "church counselors" have a different take on what they are trying to do, IDK?

[here today]

I've probably touched on this before, because it's helped me -- I think. But do you have any support groups there that might help relieve some of the loneliness?

I went through a lot of therapists, the last with a Ph.D. and post-doc training, and she didn't really understand what was going on with me, or know how or want to communicate with me about that. Very sad, very disappointing. So . . .from my experience, even if therapists want to try to help, sometimes they can't.

I think you have said that you couldn't get what you think might be more appropriate therapy through your public health system? But even though I paid out of pocket, I don't think I got very effective therapy, even after doing what I thought was a good job of due diligence on my end before I hired people.

Here's another possible way to look at things, may help, may not. What if your depression and low self-esteem are just really difficult "cases"? If you had a difficult physical illness that medicine didn't help that much with what would you do? Would you look for alternatives? Distractions?

[SarahSweden]

Thanks. There are pershaps some support groups, it's more about me not really believing in anything making any difference and I don´t want to get disappointed.

I have only had one longer period of therapy and several shorter contacts with counsellors and therapists and by that I still want to hope there might be better help somewhere out there. But I really agree it can be very difficult to find that help. Our public health care system is definately a big obstacle for accessing a more wide range of therapists and I´ve often thought I should just quit searching. But I´m at the same time in need of some kind of health care contact to get my welfare and my sick leave so it´s not just therapy itself.

Originally Posted by here today

I've probably touched on this before, because it's helped me -- I think. But do you have any support groups there that might help relieve some of the loneliness?

I went through a lot of therapists, the last with a Ph.D. and post-doc training, and she didn't really understand what was going on with me, or know how or want to communicate with me about that. Very sad, very disappointing. So . . .from my experience, even if therapists want to try to help, sometimes they can't.

I think you have said that you couldn't get what you think might be more appropriate therapy through your public health system? But even though I paid out of pocket, I don't think I got very effective therapy, even after doing what I thought was a good job of due diligence on my end before I hired people.

Here's another possible way to look at things, may help, may not. What if your depression and low self-esteem are just really difficult "cases"? If you had a difficult physical illness that medicine didn't help that much with what would you do? Would you look for alternatives? Distractions?