Missing ex T

Sometimes I think I’m doing okay without her and she hardly crosses my mind. Other times (like now) it feels like I am back to square one and I can’t stop crying and thinking about her. What is she doing now? Is she happy? Does she think about me? Does she feel guilty about how things ended?

I like my current T but it is not the same. I don’t feel the same sort of connection and attachment that I did with last T. I don’t know if it is because he is male or if it is something else. I don’t know if it is a good thing or not but it feels like something is missing.

Hugs
I relate to every bit of this
I'm really sorry

I often wonder about two of my ex t’s as well. I’m sorry it does hurt.

You just started seeing male t correct? In time you could feel close to him too.

Thank you both for your replies.

Current T is away next week and I think that has triggered something for me. I have been dreaming about ex T almost every night for the past week. I wish I could stop thinking about her.

ETA: I have been seeing current T for about 8 sessions now so not very long but I felt attached to ex T after about the second session

I’ve been there before. I know it’s tough. If you’re really not feeling a connection with your new T, perhaps it’s time to explore other Ts? Just a thought. I learned the hard way to always trust my gut. If I feel like it’s not the right fit early on, it probably isn’t. :/

I do feel a connection with new T just not in the same way as I did with exT. I guess with ex T there was a lot of maternal transference and I wanted her to take care of me. I thought she was perfect and would know how to fix everything and there was a certain comfort gained from thinking that even though it was unhealthy and ultimately painful.

Male ts can be just as nurturing. I’m hoping it comes in time in your situation. You can always talk to him about missing ex t. They don’t get hurt by that stuff.

I'm sorry, missing old Ts really sucks. I still struggle, sometimes, with missing my last T - even though in the end there were a lot of reasons why he wasn't a good fit. I miss the good parts, and new T (who I've been seeing for almost a year, so not so "new" anymore) just isn't the same.

Wish I had good advice for ya... does it help at all to think what things you good things you get with new T, that you didn't have with old T? Or, if to think about what might be missing... and to see if there's any way new T can help provide that?

Sorry it's hard...